Just a glimpse of me...

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Do you ever feel STUCK? In 2000, I began looking for answers to some tough questions in my life. I'd searched high & low and finally conceded to search the promises found in the Bible. Those promises have sustained & guided me through the loss of a parent, the struggle with anxiety & depression, the loss of a valued relationship and so much more! I've found joy amid the pain. And, I want to share it with you!
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts

05 February 2016

Silence Can Be Deceiving

I love finding quotes that hit a chord within me. Here's one that grabbed me a while back:

"The fact that I'm silent doesn't mean I have nothing to say."
~ Jonathan Carroll

Today is busy - like most days. But, I want to write and share -- especially with a community of writers whom I've grown to love. I haven't written much in the past few months. I've managed to keep jotting down three blessings each day. (My #JoyDare / #1000gifts lists.) But, I've even been slow in editing and posting those. Other things have filled my days. 

I guess, with regard to writing, you could say I've been silent. But, in those times of infrequent blog posts, my writer's mind hasn't been silent at all. There are few things that happen in my normal day-to-day life that don't evoke a flood of thoughts... 
All 5 eggs were laid in the same box by the Golden Comets one cold morning... Coincidence? Well, I make a note of the low temp in their coop on the preceding night & come to the conclusion that sticking together is warmer. My crazy brain immediately envisions 5 hens crowded in one box with each one wiggling out when she's laid her own egg. It reminds me of how important "community" is for all of us. I'll write more about that later.
I vigorously scrape off frost and ice from the windows of our daughter's car in the wee hours of the morning before she takes the Little to school. I pause and snap a shot of the glints of diamonds that shine in the snow as her headlights illuminate the crystal forest that was made of our property in the night while we slept. It occurs to me that I'm freezing there in my jammies, boots and a heavy coat. I walk in and am warmed by the sight of the little seascape I placed above the sun room door years ago. I'm reminded that I can be at the seaside anywhere I am on this planet. Happiness is in me... not in a place. I'll write more about that later. 
I wake in the middle of the night for no logical reason other than "I ,myself, am no longer a spring chicken." I pray for everyone I can think of - at the same time really wishing I was sleeping. Just as I begin to drift off, I hear the pitter-patter of little bare feet running from the east side of the house. I think to myself, "Wouldn't it be nice to sleep in today." And, within minutes I'm drowning in hugs and kisses from a toddler giggling and proclaiming, "You're my best friend, DeeDee." I'm reminded that sleep can be highly overrated and that life often happens just as it should happen... not as we had envisioned or planned. And, I acknowledge that even the most difficult chapters of our lives are filled with sweet, sweet blessings we might not otherwise have received. I'll write more about that later.

Each morning I wake and know there are some things which absolutely have to be done that day - commitments, appointments, etc. And, each morning I wake with a long list of what I'd like to do that day. Truth be told, some days I just desire to hide under the blankets for the day. But, life pushes me out of bed. I go about my day-to-day life - making mental notes and writing blog posts along the way (in my mind). I'll write more about that later.

Whether the day ends up being great or grave, it always contains blessings - just waiting to be seen. I write daily in my mind. I record those thoughts for others to read when I feel I can. But, don't be fooled... "The fact that I'm silent doesn't mean I have nothing to say."

Join the conversation with me on Twitter & Instagram at @stuckinindiana And, hop over to the Facebook Page stuckinindiana :) Oh, and I'm on Pinterest at "stuckinindiana" too... but, don't do so well keeping up with that one :)


05 July 2015

Our Chautauqua Adventure - Journal Entry July 8

Posting this from a journal entry written the summer of 2014.... because I FIND JOY IN... looking back on tough times & seeing God's faithfulness through the entire experience...

A day in the life of our Chautauqua Adventure - Summer of 2014 - July 8  (all pics from 7-8-14)

There are openings here in CHQ throughout the remainder of the summer -- EXCEPT that one week. Ken Burns will be here that week. If you can come any other time than Week 7 there should be no problem finding housing :) We are just in the beginning of Week 4.

18 December 2014

OPEN YOUR EYES...

I'm a broken record with this one... but, my life was deeply impacted when I opened & read Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. More than anything, the book validated something I felt had been belittled over the years by so many of my respected peers, friends & mentors. What Ann wrote gave a voice to what I'd felt my entire life... the best things in life are in the moments -- no matter how small those things may be.
  • Laying on the grass in the summer looking for cloud animals
  • A mother & baby deer drinking from a small creek at the wood's edge
  • The daily changing colors of winter wheat in June & July
  • Smelling chili cooking in the crockpot when you get home on a cold day
  • The sound of snow crunching under your feet during a winter walkabout
  • Belly laughs from a little one
  • The reflection of white lights on the snow way after the rest of your neighbors have turned their lights off

07 October 2014

I'll Show You Mine If...

I'll show you mine, if you'll show me yours. That statement comes with some not so great images. Perhaps I should have titled this post "I Told You So" or "Just Keepin' It Real" or "My House is Messier Than Your House" or "When Guests Come Over, I Hide Things in the Shower". Today's post is being written & photographed... and then I'm going to see what I can accomplish around the house besides reading & writing for #write31days :)


I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours...


01 October 2014

2014 September ONE THOUSAND GIFTS #JoyDare

2014 September ONE THOUSAND GIFTS #JoyDare

SEPTEMBER 2014 
One Thousand Gifts (by Ann Voskamp)
#1000Gifts #JoyDare


Buy book here...      

I took the 1,000 Gifts Dare for the year of 2012...
I continued in 2013...
I'm now into 2014! 
GOD IS FULL OF BLESSINGS!

Today I find JOY in...

9/1/14 Mon
2902. family prayers together before the 13.5 hour drive!
2903. silly faces to pass the time
2904. waking up the neighbor rooster upon arriving home after 11pm - OOPS!

12 September 2014

Don't Postpone Joy

Don't Postpone Joy
My home for summer 2014... the gated grounds of Chautauqua Institution. My daughter, her sweet toddler & I shared a TINY tree-top efficiency apartment for the first 6+ weeks, a screened porch for 7 nights & a hotel room for 3 nights. While my daughter took classes, attended lectures & painted/painted/painted, I cared for the baby. 
It was a great experience... BUT IT WAS HARD WORK! 
I continue to believe my investment in their lives during that season was by the appointment of God. Although the summer was one of sacrifice (missing... my husband, my home, my friends, my cat, my flowers, my veggies, my cement pond, my husband's grilling skills, my church & a healthy portion of my bank account which I'd thought had been saved for a future family vacation), the summer proved to be a full of joy. It could have easily been a time when I put JOY on hold.

05 September 2014

Do You Like Your Life Ruthann?

It's a little past seven in the evening and, I'm sitting here on the patio beside our cement pond eating leftovers for dinner. The rest of the family won't be home for several hours. The day has finally cooled down enough to be able to enjoy being outside. Beside me is a pool that has an eerie yellow-green tint to it thanks to the mustard algae we've been battling all summer. Earlier today I brushed down the sides of the pool to try to get the cleaning process started again. I'm surrounded by a wooden fence that's rotten and falling down in many places. A big portion of it is now replaced with staked up chicken wire. There's mismatched patio furniture all around me - many of the pieces held together, no doubt, by rust. Assorted hand-me-downs: play sets, swings and slides, that I vowed would never clutter up my yard, abound.

#JoyDare No. 2911. Calling Out My Friends & Family Members

Pictures related to 9 people who were a
blessing to me in the month of August 2014
I prayed last night for God to order my steps* today. I have so many things that need to be done around my house and in my yard - 3.5 acres! This morning I woke up & asked God again to help me set my agenda for the day - so that I would be productive around here but more really, so that I would be effective

18 July 2014

#JoyDare No. 2767. Beds Made Before Noon

... and then there are those mornings when the caregiver of a little one, whether that caregiver be Mommy, Daddy, G'Parent or someone else, just pushes things aside on the kitchen table for their own breakfast plate :) I post a lot of pictures via Twitter and on my blog & my Facebook page that might give the appearance that I have it all together. Let's just keep it real... I don't. 


Our "Castle TreeHouse" for the first 44 of our 54 days here at Chautauqua is small... VERY SMALL!  And, taking care of a toddler full-time (while mommy takes classes) is something that takes a LOT of time & energy. This morning I found myself preparing her breakfast & then pushing things aside to carve out a place for my own plate. I had to chuckle over the things I was dining beside.


I glanced up from my seat at the table & caught a glimpse of our bedroom. I smiled as I saw the two single beds (aka a trundle bed!) all made up & ready to serve as a place for changing diapers and changing clothes. That will be our place to sit to read a book or play a game. If we get a chance, we'll watch a portion of a movie (a KIDS MOVIE, of course) sitting there. The upper bed is my writing spot while the baby plays with toys, puzzles & baby dolls in her Pack N Play. Writing time is quite limited these days too :)

When I caught the view in front of me, I said...
Celebrate the little things & don't get stressed by something that seems to be a big thing today!
So, one of my "JoyDares" for the day is having the beds made before noon! 


01 April 2014

2014 March ONE THOUSAND GIFTS #JoyDare

MARCH 2014 
One Thousand Gifts (by Ann Voskamp)
#1000Gifts #JoyDare


Buy book here...      

I took the 1,000 Gifts Dare for the year of 2012...
I continued in 2013...
I'm now into 2014! 
GOD IS FULL OF BLESSINGS!

Today I find JOY in...

3/1/14 Sat
2350. was able to publish my February #JoyDare list on MARCH 1st - wooooohooooo!
hoping pride doesn't precede a fall
2351. grocery shopping & Dilly Bars from DQ
2352. surprised by the LOML with a nice dinner when I returned from shopping :)

3/2/14 Sun
2353. 2nd service & "FAMILY" at our church

2354. not getting the snow amount which was first forecasted!
2355. having my attitude "checked" by the Holy Spirit
(often not that enjoyable - but, always a blessing that God loves me that much)

3/3/14 Mon
2356. BIG SURPRISE when I went on this blog to insert my weekend's #JoyDares... I noticed there've been over a 1000 views on one of my posts?? Praying that eyes were drawn to Christ through it!
2357. writing, writing, writing
(probably should be cleaning, cleaning, cleaning)
times when I just don't know what to say to God
2358. benefit for Stripped Love

3/4/14 Tues
2359. my yearning for paradise
"My desire for Paradise is a good indication it exists." ~ CSLewis
"That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
And Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” Luke 23:43

2360. cell phones - I'm old enough to remember when long distance calls were expensive and rare
2361. surprise presents for both girls from Florida

3/5/14 Wed
2362. the beginning of Lent

2363. confetti on the floor


3/6/14 Thurs
2365. solving a mystery!!
When you are a "nobody blogger" and you wake up one Monday morning to see over 1100 views of a recent blog post, you wonder what in the world happened here!?!?! Then, finally on Thursday you figure out that YOUR POST was one of the "Only the Good Stuff: Crazy Happy Multivitamins for Your Weekend" from the Ann Voskamp community, you say WOW... what a blessing & may God be glorified!

2366. the ugly beautiful - it's not always about me!
The Bible says, "in everything give thanks." Sometimes the toughest times & most horrendous situations bring about changes in us that would happen no other way OR bring us closer to those around us OR bring us closer to God. It's not being thankful FOR these things (in & of themselves) as much as acknowledging that good can come from everything if we are open to it.
2367. allowing myself to be one day late on Lent - sometimes grace is the only way to operate :)

3/7/14 Fri
2368. new found fun
2369. a blessing volunteering for Worship Arts at my church for almost 20 years now
2370. Art's subs & Netflix w/3 of my favorite loved ones :)

3/8/14 Sat
2371. YELLOW yolks - farm fresh eggs are da bomb!
2372. making our family room ready for our niece's social club meeting

2373. cousin time w/Aunt Bamber, Mommy & A.

3/9/14 Sun
2374. extra sleep in an attempt to catch this cold before it catches me!!
2375. our new normal

2376. an unexpected friend - who feels like a sister
"From where the sun rises to where the sun sets,
the name of the Lord should be praised."
Psalm 113:3
3/10/14 Mon
2377. when my kitchen & great room are relatively clean by 9am on a Monday... that's a #JoyDare for sure!!!

2378. someone is in a chill mood this morning


2379. Cheerwine & Goldfish after walking country roads!
a cold Cheerwine from a glass bottle & Goldfish
what a way to enjoy some time in the sun on the patio swing)
3/11/14 Tues
2380. being challenged to reflect Christ better
"As water reflects the face,
so one's life reflects the heart."
Proverbs 27:19 NIV
2381. working out w/weights

2382. back porch swingin'

3/12/14 Wed
2383. being renewed & reminded of God's faithfulness along life's path
Our daughter painted this to be auction off at a women's retreat
to benefit a ministry for women in sex trafficking & adult entertainment.
The theme of the retreat was REJUVENATE
2384. comfort food on a snow day in March

2385. snow on the ground (again... yuk!) and a fire in the fireplace (HOORAY!)

3/13/14 Thurs
2386. friends... for a long, long time
What made us friends in the long ago
When we first met?
Well, I think I know.
The best in me and the best in you
Hailed each other because they knew
That always and ever since time began
Our being friends was part of God's plan.
~ George Webster Douglas
2387. a Dilly bar from my sweet daughter :)
2388. lyrics like...
"When dark trials come and my heart is filled
With the weight of doubt, I will praise Him, still." 

~ Fernando Ortego


3/14/14 Fri
2389. a walkabout on a very blustery day!

2390. the moon playing peekaboo behind the clouds
2391. holding a baby while she fell asleep under the stars...
quietly swinging on the back porch swing

3/15/14 Sat
2392. lazy morning before a full day
2393. yard work in a sun dress
2394. clean pillow cases

3/16/14 Sun
2395. writing notes of encouragement
2396. breakfast for dinner
2397. not wondering if 2 certain loved ones were safe at the end of a day
- unlike 1 year ago today

3/17/14 Mon
2398. Johnson's lavender baby lotion 
2399. new words like golly, golly, golly
(how our sweet little 14-month old calls the cat aka Sollie)
2400. a softer side of the LOML
as he embraces being A's PapaBear :)

3/18/14 Tues
2401. my hairdresser :) she's a Christian sister-friend
Today, I got to the root of all evil!
2402. Take One
2403. sit-down family dinner
(we've did this when the kids were younger all the time -- nice to be back to those days!)

3/19/14 Wed
2404. taking the long way home
Decided to take "the long way home" this morning
while a little one snored in the back seat.
Revisited on our our local cemeteries
for this pic :)
Click HERE for another post about taking the long way home :)

2405. a quick photo shoot

2406. our nieces babysitting our g'baby
"Glasses never distracted from the true beauty of any woman."

3/20/14 Thurs
2407. the search for peace
"Peace is the deliberate adjustment of my life to the will of God." ~ Author Unknown 
This picture was taken on New Smyrna Beach in August of 2009. I was walking on a broken foot!
2408. hearing words I've waited almost FIVE YEARS to hear
TODAY WAS A GLORY DAY!
2409. Aunt Bamber over for the evening

3/21/14 Fri
2412. reaching for goals
Our daughter's studio -
in full preparation mode for her
Senior Show :)
3/22/14 Sat
2413. fashion shows - from the comfort of my own bed :)

2414. loved ones visiting

2415. tangible reminders of when I was the young mommy :)

3/23/14 Sun
2416. Sunday morning excited to go to church & Sunday afternoon crashing for a nap

2417. a gift lovingly crafted by A's great-grandmother

2418. lingering thoughts of God's faithfulness
while thinking back on this morning's sermon
great quote from Corrie ten Boom
used this morning at church
 
3/24/14 Mon
 2420. encouragement from my day lillies

2421. fresh air and a brisk walk w/my neighbor (friend)

3/25/14 Tues
2422. honest brokenness & stories of God's faithfulness shared among a small group of women
2423. paper party hats & teething babies - never a dull moment

2424. naming & proclaiming

3/26/14 Wed
2425. trapped under a 20-pounder

2426. seeking a newer world

2427. voting for something that matters -
Dove Harbor to receive 1 of 4 grants

3/27/14 Thurs
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML :)
2428. early morning surprises for the birthday boy
2430. going to sleep with a heart that is spilling over with joy & thanksgiving

3/28/14 Fri
2431. looking for things to fill a 14-month old's Easter Basket
2432. finding time to volunteer for our Worship Arts ministry
while a little one naps
2433. the constant reminder that God is working
in the good times & in the bad

3/29/14 Sat
2434. literally woken up (for the second time, mind you) with breakfast in bed delivered by the LOML - I should have taken a picture but it was gobbled up too quickly!
2435. saved Big Bunnies at Bernard's
(back story - when our kids were little, they sang Menard's theme song, "Save big money at Menard's as SAVE BIG BUNNIES AT BERNARD'S. All these years later we all think of that when we shop at Menard's)
DeeDee tried to get Ayla to ask PapaBear to buy these
for the back patio. He didn't fall for it 
2436. a washer & dryer
(to clean up all the throw-up laundry from our little 14-month old.
WOW, that was a surprise!)

3/30/14 Sun
2437. sermon notes from a friend
(missed church due to 3am clean-up & laundry)
2438. reminder that even though you have winter into late March - you should take the outdoor wreaths down before the birds build nests in them!!

2439. house cleaning from 6 to 10pm
Have I mentioned... Nehemiah 8:10!!!

3/31/14 Mon


2441. my big pale white self!
(wow... my skin has missed the sun)
2442. contemplating lighting the house for April Fools tomorrow
- since all of our Christmas lights aren't down yet 
WHAT A WAY TO END THE LIST - HA HA!!