It's 12:09pm and, I'm unable to move. I'm rocking a sleeping baby. I haven't dressed yet. My hair hasn't been brushed and make-up isn't on. The bed's unmade & the kitchen still needs to be cleaned up. A load of wet laundry waits to be put in the dryer. Confetti litters the great room floor from the surprise gifts which were received & unwrapped gleefully yesterday by this little sleeping angel & her mommy. There are numerous items on the To Do List which can only be accomplished in the time she sleeps. But, I am unable to move... just now. I'm breathing in this moment & thanking God with a full heart.
I'm holding this sleeping child & recording the many thoughts that are pouring out of me in these moments. I'm "typing" as fast as I can on an open page of this blog application on my smart phone. Note: Typing here means using my right thumb only!! Playing softly today in the background is Chris Botti's CD "Italia". The song right now -- "Ave Maria" -- no words, just the music. The books we read minutes ago are laid beside us on the floor. The drapes have been drawn to darken the room so that she can sleep more easily. And, in this moment, all is well.
I hear her soft breathing and match mine with hers - long, deep, peaceful breaths. The hand-me-down gliding rocker (which matches not ONE thing in my house) has begun to creak loudly indicating that it's time to shift my weight or jiggle around so the squeaking doesn't get any louder. With one fist, she's clutching a blanket given to her by one of my dear, dear friends. Today, as she was nearing sleep, she tucked her other little chubby hand inside the neck of my fleece robe. I take joy in the feel of her soft fingers now warm against my skin. What a blessing to have her reach up & stroke my face with her velvet palm as she draws near sleep or to have her tuck a hand inside my collar to touch my skin.
This baby sleeps in peace now - without a care in the world. She's loved. She's cared for. She's protected. All is well!
But, what can I do to shield her from pain, suffering, injustice & evil which is a part of our life here? She'll likely grow to be a normal young woman - struggling with peer pressure & self-image. Despite our many efforts to teach her that her value & worth are based completely upon the fact that she's a creation of God... she'll question. She'll likely be uncertain in times but still determined to show her independence and right to make her own choices. She'll likely experience loss and heartache in her life. What can I do to keep her from these things? I can do no more than I did with her Mommy and her uncle - whom I rocked to sleep all those years ago. And, I pray over her as I did over them when they were babes.
So, for this moment today... I'll just stay here and rock this child... I'll put off the To Do List a little longer... I'll whisper prayers over her as she sleeps... I'll gently stroke her face as she rustles... I'll ask God that she will see Him & His perfect love in me!
And I'll thank God for how perfectly He formed my arms... all of our arms... to love!
David said it best in the 139th Psalm:
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head. (vs. 5)
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand! (vs. 6)
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb. (vs 13)
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. (vs. 14)
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered! (vs. 17)
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me! (vs. 18)
NOTE: Due to a small book club group for women started in 2012 by a friend at my church, I actually picked up & read Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, in early 2012. I began listing gifts then & am planning to continue for years to come. It's a WONDERFUL way to remind myself of God's tender loving care for & faithfulness to me -- and to all his children! I've always been one to get super excited about the little things from God - seeing a mother deer & her fawns while out walking early in the morning, the way the clouds look on a cold -- but sunny -- winter day, the lighting or angle I was able to catch in a photo, the quiet snoring/breathing of the LOML as he sleeps beside me, new fuzzy socks or slippers, an apple right off my tree, etc. Often times my descriptions make no sense to anyone by me & God. So, I decided to expand upon those thoughts in a few posts. So... for today...
Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...