Get Me to the Church On Time #write31days 10-21-16

Tonight my older sister is singing this song...

     I'm gettin' married in the morning
     Ding, dong, the bells are gonna chime
     Pull out the stopper, we'll have a whopper
     But get me to the church on time

And, I'm loving the fact that I get to be a part of her big day tomorrow. An outdoor wedding in a fall setting at a Virginia state park has now been moved to a small country church - thanks to the weather forecast for tomorrow. Rainy and in the 40's is not the best weather to walk down a beach path toward a little pier. But, the day will be bright and full of love & happiness. And cherished memories will be made.

As we've visited tonight with my sister & her soon-to-be husband, I've been filled with emotion seeing the love and friendship between them. The LOML & I are here with the Little. And, the Little has taken an instant liking to her new "Uncle". There's a sense of peace & rightness about all of this.

My sister has waited almost 40 years for this day. We are so excited for her. She and I have shared a love for older movie classics. And, we were talking about My Fair Lady tonight. I'm notorious for being late and have a suspicion that my sister will be singing to me in the morning...

Get me to the church on time.

5 Minute Free-For-All - #write31days 10-21-16

Drinking Coffee Solely for Its Medicinal Value - #write31days 10-09-16

This morning we drove away from the fast food restaurant, I took 4-5 drinks of my pre-mixed coffee - grimacing after each swallow, and exclaimed to the LOML:

“So, I guess I’m just drinking coffee this morning solely for its medicinal value!?!?!?”

We both started laughing. I definitely laughed louder and longer. I seem to crack myself up!

I was never a coffee drinker back in the younger days. I had an iced coffee from time to time. But, hot coffee every morning was of no interest to me. But, then… I married the LOML. And, coffee (with extra cream & sugar) began appearing bed-side nearly every morning. Over the years, it’s become a daily routine which has never been taken for granted. It’s a delight to me and a wonderful way to start each day.

The LOML adds a touch of cream and sugar to his coffee. I would rather have a touch of coffee with the cream and sugar. And, the LOML only drinks fully caffeinated coffee. Hence, I might or might not have become a bit addicted to caffeine over the years.

Painful Twists and Turns

This week has been a doozie (my dad used that word often). My body's weary and my head is spinning and...

I am so very grateful for my family members!

Thursday, the Little & her Mommy

My Friend Will Be Healed

The past 5 to 6 weeks have flown by, although sometimes in slow motion. Is that even possible? In one way I feel as though it was yesterday when I was sitting beside my friend and laughing about things we'd said or done in the past. In another way I feel as though months have gone by without me being present to what was happening around me in other areas of my life.

In the middle of the summer, my friend was diagnosed with advanced stages of pancreatic cancer. It had gone undetected for several years. Tests showed that it had spread to her liver. After conversations with several doctors, she made the decision not to chemotherapy or radiation treatments -- as they were not expected to rid her body of the cancer. We went for about 5-6 weeks celebrating the fact that her "numbers were down". Anyone who has walked this journey of a loved one fighting the dreaded C disease knows all about "numbers being up" and "numbers being down."

All You Need Is Love

There are times in life when you are... held between earth & heaven... with no words to speak... with only raw emotion to remind you that you are, in fact, still alive. The passing of a cherished loved one... cradling a newborn baby in your arms... hearing the diagnosis of a terminal illness... watching your child grow up to give birth to their own... being broken under the load of grief & sense of loss when a marriage dies...

Annoying Someone for Life

What's the recipe for a good marriage? Some of the ingredients I'd put in that recipe:

* friendship
* grace & forgiveness
* support & encouragement
* patience
* honesty
* humor, humor, humor

I've been married to the LOML for over 25 years. And, laughter has been a big part of those years together. Oh trust me... we don't see eye-to-eye on plenty of things. And, we both have the "death stare" perfected. But, we enjoy laughing with each other and, often, at each other. 

The old saying says "laughter is the best medicine". There's a lot of truth to that statement - especially, I would say, in marriage. I totally agree with Rita's words below:

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." ~ Rita Rudner

Linked with the Nesting Place community through the write31days challenge, October 2014 - post No 2

Other posts of mine about marriage & relationships:

Crazy Spontaneity 

Capture the Flag

Life's Snapshots - Overlooking the Obvious

Empty Nesting in the Moments

A Happy Marriage

Quiet Yourself & Listen to Your Heart

It was early January and a cold snowy day -- not much different than what we'd been experiencing for the past few months. My winter blues were turned on "HIGH" that year. My desire for warm sun & hidden beaches was intense. Through a few years of experience, I'd finally figured out that those desires could be fed when I was out in nature observing the wonders of God. The dusk light on a snow covered pond brought peace to my restless soul. The sound of the snow crunching under my feet as I wondered through a nearby woods lifted my spirits. Even as I shivered from the cold air, I felt

It's Not Rocket Science

After returning home from 54 days away, I was talking with my sister on the phone & telling her of all my troubles. You know, the really BIG troubles. And, the words spewed out of my mouth: 

It's Not Rocket Science. You know, Jesus Loves the Simple Minded!

I was dealing with some really BIG troubles like...

Do You Like Your Life Ruthann?

It's a little past seven in the evening and, I'm sitting here on the patio beside our cement pond eating leftovers for dinner. The rest of the family won't be home for several hours. The day has finally cooled down enough to be able to enjoy being outside. Beside me is a pool that has an eerie yellow-green tint to it thanks to the mustard algae we've been battling all summer. Earlier today I brushed down the sides of the pool to try to get the cleaning process started again. I'm surrounded by a wooden fence that's rotten and falling down in many places. A big portion of it is now replaced with staked up chicken wire. There's mismatched patio furniture all around me - many of the pieces held together, no doubt, by rust. Assorted hand-me-downs: play sets, swings and slides, that I vowed would never clutter up my yard, abound.

#JoyDare No. 2833. Fading Love... NEVER

I accepted a challenge in January of 2012 which was posed in a book written by Ann Voskamp. The challenge was to make note of THREE things each day in which I saw God... to keep track of 3 blessings each day. I publish a blog post after each month with a listing of the blessings that touched my heart during that previous month. It's made the sweet days sweeter and given purpose & meaning to the roughest of days. I've grown closer to God in doing this practice. I've gotten much better at seeing God in the every day happenings of life - instead of just looking for Him in the miracles or the BIG, flashy things!

Here's the "JoyDare" that will be in the 2014 August ONE THOUSAND GIFTS #JoyDare post:

2833. fading love... NEVER

My #JoyDare No. 2833. (for Saturday August 9, 2014 - day 52 of my Chautauqua adventure) was based upon a text I received that day from the LOML aka my husband :) It began on Thursday, June 19, 2014, when the girls & I were getting ready to head out & drive to Chautauqua, NY for our 54-day adventure at Chautauqua Institution. I thoroughly cleaned the house then left reminders around the house of our love for the LOML.

Here are a few reminders left on 6/19/14:

 

 

The 54 days were great... the 54 days were rough... the 54 days were a gift of love & support to our daughter as she continues to seek out her place in the art world. The 54 days were a constant reminder of the lovingkindness that surrounds me daily.

The LOML came out to visit in early July for three nights. It was great to see him & tough to see him leave for home. As the days grew closer to when he would return to help us move back home, I was filled with thoughts of thankfulness to God for putting us together to share this life. On Saturday morning, August 9th, as the girls & I were getting ready to move into our 3rd & final Chautauqua home, I received a text from him... 

My written reminders of my love for him which I'd left at home might have been fading... but, my love for him certainly was not.

And, if you know me at all, you know that the joy of my unfaded love for my husband reminded me of the unfading & unfailing love of the Lord. He doesn't love us because of what we do or don't do. He loves us because we ARE! There are no strings attached... there are no hoops to jump through... there is no being a slave to laws... there's just receiving His deep, deep love!

Written reminders on the mirror when we left:

 

Written reminders on the mirror when we returned:

#JoyDare No. 2833. Fading Love... NEVER

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease." Lamentations 3:22

In Celebration of The LOML

March 27th marks the day that we celebrate the birth of my best friend & spouse... aka The LOML (Love of My Life). Even though I was super tired when my alarm went off at 5:30am this morning, I was excited to go wake the girls & get the party started. The three of us sang to him and gave him cards & presents... and HUGS!!!

Last night (on the LOML's Birthday Eve) I grabbed a few photos to celebrate him...

in the beginning... I dated a surfer

friend for years before dating...

married my best friend

my favorite Words with Friends partner

the romantic - secretly :)

my favorite biking partner

my favorite hiking partner

a man with a very strong work ethic

a talented guitarist

a great vocalist

a fantastic actor

an accomplished cellist...
Maybe NOT

a great Dad & PapaBear

the supporter of the endeavors
of BOTH of our kids

a talented sportsman

my favorite traveling partner
& PIRATE :)

the one whom I stand behind
& stick up for :)

Trust me, I have 100's of pictures that I could share, but, I won't :) I'll close with this one...

loved him & liked him then...
love him & like him now!

That's my CELEBRATION POST for today. I love you BearBear -- even though you never read my blog posts!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

On another day, I'll write a post about how he drives me nuts - in the NOT GOOD sort of way -- but NOT TODAY!!

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

On the Other Side of Silence - #JoyDare No. 2357

She walked at the water's edge in silence. The air was warm & wet and felt thick as her lungs sucked it in. The waters gently lapped the shore. The clouds on the horizon hid the sun which promised to rise and bring yet another balmy beach day.

The colors on the surf & the sand changed moment by moment. The beauty of it overwhelmed her. It was a painting from God that could never accurately be captured in a photo, no matter how many shots she took. 

She walked alone... watching others walking along together. Some were laughing at something the other one had said. Some were talking quietly to each other. Others were just holding hands, walking along together in silence. 

She dreamed of a day when that would happen for her. It was a day she'd dreamed of as a little girl... as a teen making her way through junior high & high school... as a young woman looking for love in her college days... as a young professional starting out in her chosen career. But, would it ever really come? Would it really happen for her?

She'd cried out to God for years now asking for a helpmate to share her journey. She'd watched loving parents who'd shared a wonderful life together. Her relationship with God had ebbed & flowed -- at her own choosing. Still, deep inside, she always knew that He cared & that He would provide... what was in His plan for her.

Sometimes the desires of our heart are set more in what we want to happen than what we are willing to allow to happen to bring glory to God. She knew that. But, she still cried out to God to find a mate to share her journey. The request had been made often. And, many times, her cries were silent... lacking words to express what she longed to have.

Life is full of such times... when we don't really know what to say, how or what to ask, what to expect, what to desire. It's in those times that God hears us most clearly, I think. 

"Deepest communion with God is beyond words, on the other side of silence." ~ Madeleine L'Engle

Days & years have passed from the day she snapped the photo above. God made a way for her to find a man of God -- a mate for life's journey. It wasn't the end all to her questions as she'd expected when a young woman. Many things in life have perplexed her. The world has tried to convince her that as she's aged, she's grown capable of answering most of life's questions. She still knows though... that many questions are beyond her reasoning and... that sometimes the silence is the best time to hear & to be heard.

"Be still &know that I am God..."  Psalm 46:10

#JoyDare No. 2357 times when I just don't know how to pray

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

NOTE: Due to a small book club group for women started in 2012 by a friend at my church, I actually picked up & read Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, in early 2012. I began listing gifts then & am planning to continue for years to come. It's a WONDERFUL way to remind myself of God's tender loving care for & faithfulness to me -- and to all his children! I've always been one to get super excited about the little things from God - seeing a mother deer & her fawns while out walking early in the morning, the way the clouds look on a cold -- but sunny -- winter day, the lighting or angle I was able to catch in a photo, the quiet snoring/breathing of the LOML as he sleeps beside me, new fuzzy socks or slippers, an apple right off my tree, etc. Often times my descriptions make no sense to anyone by me & God. So, I decided to expand upon those thoughts in a few posts. So... for today... 

#JoyDare No. 2357 times when I just don't know how to pray

... I Have a Theory on That!

I have a theory...
The family who PLAYS together
STAYS together :)

I seem to say this a lot to my friends... "I have a theory on that." 

I remember coming up with all sorts of "reasons why" as a young child. I wonder if it had to do with the fact that I felt out of control over a lot of my life back in those days? It could have been a coping mechanism to help me deal with life -- as it were. I also felt from a very young age that if I observed things carefully I would be able to come to better conclusions about them over time.

Granted... many things cannot be explained & sometimes there seems to be no reason WHY a specific thing should have happened. But, that didn't stop me from trying to figure out SOME of the reasons :)

Some of my theories...

• When testosterone kicks in, mental reasoning diminishes exponentially
• The majority of human beings don't really become "mature adults" until their late 20's or early 30's
• Certain "less than desirable traits" which are noticed at a very young age are often the traits that serve to save a person as time goes by. (with maturity often comes the way to use those traits not only for our benefit but for the benefit of others... even for humanity)
• There's more to the meaning of "women being a help-mate to man" than doing work for him; there are many times I've gotten the impression that many men are often clueless.
• I'm Okay... You're Okay! Seems to vary in meaning & interpretation from generation. My mom & many of her peers take that that to mean, you should like me just as I am & never suggest I could make any changes to improve myself.  I take it to mean love everyone no matter what they are like... but, always try to help them be better.  In addition to that, I'm okay as I am but, that doesn't mean I don't need to be in a constant phase of change -- becoming a better me, a better representation of God!

And, knowing me, I will probably continue saying & thinking... I have a theory on that! May I always go to the Lord & His Word for all those theories :)

I go to the WORD...

• "We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments." 2 Corinthians 10:4 NLT
• "Dear brothers and sisters, I want you to understand that the gospel message I preach is not based on mere human reasoning." Galatians 1:11 NLT

RELATED POSTS...

• Insomnia..."I woke up this morning, having gotten about 5 hours of sleep, yet feeling as though I'd slept 10 hours. AND, I have a theory on that..."
• Crazy CONTROL... "My life's out of control lately. And, I don't like it. I have a theory about this topic of CONTROL..."
• I Hate Over-Achievers... "Where's the line between giving your best and demanding too much?"

HOPE, Empty Nesting - In the Moments 10-07-13

Well... we got a few months of Empty Nesting. And, it was... pretty sweet :) 

The LOML & me :)

I knew the LOML (aka Love of My Life; aka My Husband for the past 20+ yrs now) for over 5 years before we married. I knew him as a friend at first. In truth, he was the younger brother of my good friend, Tammy. I'd been invited to all their family holiday gatherings -- since my family lived out of state. I'd watched him play church softball with his brothers & father (whom I'd affectionately named "Daddy Dale" in those days). I'd fixed him up with a girl from church that was his age (I'm not ready to comment honestly on that subject quite yet). I'd remained his friend as the years went by - growing to know him better - knowing who he was & knowing his family. 

And, in those passing years, I'd begun to know what God wanted of me... for me.

On February 10th at 8:10 pm, I knew he was the ONE with whom I should spend the rest of my life - not just the man I wanted to marry for a time... but, the man I would love forever :) I began to look forward to sharing life with him... and parenthood with him. I looked forward to spending the rest of my life with him. I looked forward to the days we could be together again - just the two of us.

Then, the time came :) Both children moved from our home & began their lives as young college students -- as young adults. We were Empty-Nesters. And, it was sweet!! We loved it! 

But... things changed. 

And... we adapted. 

So, at this point in our lives, we are doing the "empty nest" season just in the moments. We thank God for how He's working at this time. We hold onto to the HOPE that our "Empty Nest Days" will happen with more regularity -- not just in the MOMENTS for now... but in GOD'S TIMING :)

In the meantime, we are grateful for the MOMENTS!

His promises...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

Linking this month with The Nesting Place

 for the 31-day Challenge

A Happy Marriage

I saw a picture on Facebook the other day... you know that place "Facebook" where everything from puppies to porn is freely shared... ? Well, I choose to look at the GOOD side of Facebook. And, the picture below, shared by Proverbs 31 Ministries, struck a cord with me. 

I feel as though I have a pretty happy marriage. I kid about the "imperfections" of my husband. But, I recognize it takes work to be "happily" married. The rewards of that work far outweigh the actual work! And, it can't be all work. It also needs to be fun & laughter & joy & hugs & smiles.

I wonder how many of these I've done consistently over the years?

A SHORT GUIDE TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE
1. be quick to forgive
2. always be kind
3. show affection
4. praise the good
5. admit when you are wrong
6. always be your spouse's champion
7. trust in God
8. share excitement
9. always have a sense of humor
10. don't take yourself too seriously
11. choose joy

picture via Proverbs 31 Ministries & www.LILBLUEBOO.com

I wonder how many OTHER MARRIED PEOPLE have done these consistently over the years? What about you?

Related posts of mine -- because we all know that I have a lot of theories on life :D

• Crazy Spontaneity 
• Capture the Flag
• Life's Snapshots - Overlooking the Obvious
• ... I Have a Theory on That
• When Dreams Die
• Birthday Eve for My Bear
• Empty Nesting in the Moments

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...

Crazy Spontaneity! - 31 DAYS OF CRAZY - 12 October 2012

Yes... it's 2:50pm & I'm just beginning this note -- after a morning full of volunteering for my local church.  I am blessed to be able to help with the communications for two of our ministries: Worship Arts & Women's Ministries.

And, I just "googled" a get-away for the LOML & I for the night.  I sent him the specifics.  He texted back, "BOOK IT NOW."  And the craziness begins.  I've done nothing to get myself ready for this said "romantic get-away".  Actually, I'm looking at it as a BIRTHDAY GET-AWAY too.

 So, stay tuned in future posts for details.

One thing I know for sure, I am going to enjoy some time with my best friend & hubby... the LOML -- even if we are staying in an expedia.com hotel :D  I love my girlfriend time & have some great ones.  But, I also love being friends with my Bear <3 font="font">

Enjoy your week friends!

Participating in the 31 days {of change} with...

Life's Snapshots - Overlooking the Obvious

Sometimes it's best to overlook the obvious.
And, keep looking ahead for something which will bring a smile!

Take for instance, the LOML's table setting skills...

If I was way too hung up on the fact that after xxx years of marriage to that man he recalls nothing about placement of the silverware, this might not have tasted so wonderful...

the LOML's grilling skills!

Has the LOML (my husband) never been told about or seen how to set a table?  NO, there have been numerous attempts to help him out!

Does my husband really care about silverware being in the right place? NO!  

I'd love for him to do a FEW things around the house in a more conventional manner.  But, as all those "relationship" experts say, "You have to pick your battles."

I've adopted the philosophy that...

Sometimes it's just best to overlook the obvious!

Capture the Flag

Remember the game we used to play into the wee hours of the night at summer camps & weekend youth retreats? We gave our all in that game -- doing all we possibly could -- in hopes of being victorious. At the end of the game we were exhausted. In a good way. We hadn't reserved our energy but had given it all to capture the flag.

In recent years, I've seen another version of that game - a grown up version in relationships (often marriages) where red flags are seen & ignored year after year. They are never captured. Those reds flags fade as their pursuit is ignored... until they turn into white flags of surrender. White flags of giving up. White flags signaling "game over."

Birthday Eve for My Bear

Today, March 26th, is what I call "Birthday Eve" for my hubby. In the past week, I've been thinking a lot about him & our relationship more than usual. I am SO thankful that God placed him in my life. He's a wonderful friend. He's a fun husband and, I enjoy his sense of humor. I love the way that our kids are crazy about him. I feel comfortable with him, even realizing that he knows how imperfect I am. I love his drive to succeed in his career & yet make time for movie nights on the floor in the great room, eating pizza in front of the fireplace, with the family. I don't love that he can't seem to remember where the dirty laundry basket is -- even though I haven't changed its location for over 12 years. Still... I am crazy about my guy :) I grew up in a home with a father who was gentle & loving & a Godly man. He was the father of 3 daughters & made each of us feel special in our own way. As a young girl, there was never any doubt in my mind that MY parents were partners for life & would never divorce. I think that lots of kids feel that way & are then surprised by their parents growing apart. My parents were separated after 50+ years of marriage... when my father lost a brief, aggressive battle with cancer. I grieve his loss but, thank God that I was blessed to SEE a lifelong example through him & my mom. My parents had their ups & downs but, with God's help, they were committed to each other until death parted them. What was the secret to my parents' success? Was it merely their commitment to God? Can you even use the word, merely, when talking about commitment to God? Did my parents do something that other God-loving people don't do? I don't have those answers - really! I did learn some things from observing my parents for so many years though...

1. They valued time with each other. They had lunches together - often packing a little picnic lunch & sharing it together, sometimes just sitting in the car by a frozen pond in the winter. They sat in the same room together most evenings - even though my dad was often watching a TV show while my mom was sewing or mending or doing something with her hands.
2. They valued each other's personal time doing what they loved... on their own. Dad would go hit the golf ball around a course from time to time. He'd play tennis with a friend. Mom would go to a craft show in a neighboring town with her "art friends" or visit an elderly person in the nursing home. They didn't have to be together 24/7 to feel connected or committed to each other.
3. Yes, they DID place God first. Each of them read the Bible daily & had their personal prayer time. They constantly looked at how God wanted to change & improve them. They were not stagnant in their relationship with God or with each other!
4. They had a life aside from the kids (yep, they did!). They went on dates - usually free ones like a ride in the car or a walk around the block. They went to Pastors & Wives Retreats and left the 3 of us home! When we left the home for college, my parents still had things in common. When their hoousehold was just the two of them, they continued to get out & do things together.
5. They invested in & valued the lives of others! From the earliest days, I remember my parents having people over for dinners, for desserts after church, for game nights (yuck), and more. With their examples, they showed me that our efforts need to be focused outward toward all of God's children. My father visited people in his role as a pastor but, you could tell that it was one of his favorite things to do. When he retired from being a pastor, he volunteered at their new church visiting people in the hospitals or unable to leave their homes.
6. They valued FAMILY! Okay, I know that we were poor preacher's kids with hardly two coins to rub together but... vacations for our family were almost always spent in a relative's home. It was usually on the way to/from Anderson Campmeeting too. That might seem like the "cheap way out" but, think about it! You can't spend 4-5 days once to twice a year in someone's home if you can't get along with them. We weren't exactly like all of our relatives but, we learned to adapt to their schedules while in their homes. We watched their family dynamics and found our place in them. We made lifelong memories surrounding "family" times. We learned the value in the statement that blood is thicker than water.

On the eve of my hubby's birthday, I thank God that my hubby & I have adopted so many of the ideals modeled by my parents. Marriage isn't easy most of the time but, it's worth the work. When we strive for the best in ourself and the best in those we love, we become better people, as do they. When we accept each other people's short-comings; while encouraging loved ones to get back up, brush the dirt off, and learn from the fall; we become better people, as do they. When we talk openly & honestly about our struggle to let God truly guide our daily lives, we allow others to be open & honest in their dialogue.

So, on the eve of my "BearBear's" birthday, I thank God for His many blessings & ask for His continued guidance in our lives. I vow to continue with the "work set before me". I vow to continue to model principals & convictions to my children to better equip them to be Godly, responsible, caring, family-oriented adults.

Happy Birthday Eve to my BearBear

Scripture of the Day: "Lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author & finisher of our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2a