Choosing to Smile Instead - #write31days 10-26-16

Are you one of those people who gets accused of smiling almost all the time? Are you someone who smiles even when things aren't going well? Have you ever had someone ask you how you can smile at someone who has clearly treated you poorly? How about being asked why you smile at someone who has done wrong to a close friend -- have you been questioned about smiling at them in passing?

Well, I have! Apparently, I smile a lot. I guess it's my facial default mode. I owe some of that to my a father - he had a huge smile almost all the time and extended grace in times when the rest of his family wanted to see someone run out of town. He always told me that no matter what happens, we can choose to smile.

And, as a grown up today, I still have people question me on why I smile so much. Many of these are friends who are walking with me through a tough time (the illness of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, etc.). I've been asked if I'm faking being happy. I've tried to explain that I don't have to be 100% happy to smile. 

So, it stands to reason that I loved it when I found this quote:

Choosing to smile even when you are having a bad day doesn't mean you're being fake. It means you're choosing to focus on all the reasons you have to be thankful instead of the reasons you have to be stressed.

No matter how bad things are going in our lives, we are always given circumstances, things & people which can fill our hearts with thanksgiving - if we will allow them to do so. Money might be a little tight due to health expenses - but, we can be thankful that we have hens laying eggs for us each day; or a church pot-luck dinner to attend; or a restaurant gift card that hasn't been used yet. We might have received an un-welcomed test result - but, we can be thankful that something was caught in it's early stages or that we finally have a name to make reason of the symptoms we've been experiencing. I have a sister-friend who tragically lost a nephew in his late teens. She was assured by an older woman that she had loved that boy as well as he could have been loved. When I first heard that, I wondered if it brought much comfort. But, as I began to think about the loss of one of my children, I realized that going into such a heartbreaking loss with regrets about how I'd treated or cared for my child would have been devastating.

And, another bonus to smiling too much...

"If you laugh a lot,
when you get older,
your wrinkles will be
in the right places."
~ Andrew Mason #quote

5 Minute Free-For-All - Choosing to Smile Instead - #write31days 10-26-16

Silence Can Be Deceiving

I love finding quotes that hit a chord within me. Here's one that grabbed me a while back:

"The fact that I'm silent doesn't mean I have nothing to say."

~ Jonathan Carroll

Today is busy - like most days. But, I want to write and share -- especially with a community of writers whom I've grown to love. I haven't written much in the past few months. I've managed to keep jotting down three blessings each day. (My #JoyDare / #1000gifts lists.) But, I've even been slow in editing and posting those. Other things have filled my days. 

I guess, with regard to writing, you could say I've been silent. But, in those times of infrequent blog posts, my writer's mind hasn't been silent at all. There are few things that happen in my normal day-to-day life that don't evoke a flood of thoughts... 

All 5 eggs were laid in the same box by the Golden Comets one cold morning... Coincidence? Well, I make a note of the low temp in their coop on the preceding night & come to the conclusion that sticking together is warmer. My crazy brain immediately envisions 5 hens crowded in one box with each one wiggling out when she's laid her own egg. It reminds me of how important "community" is for all of us. I'll write more about that later.

I vigorously scrape off frost and ice from the windows of our daughter's car in the wee hours of the morning before she takes the Little to school. I pause and snap a shot of the glints of diamonds that shine in the snow as her headlights illuminate the crystal forest that was made of our property in the night while we slept. It occurs to me that I'm freezing there in my jammies, boots and a heavy coat. I walk in and am warmed by the sight of the little seascape I placed above the sun room door years ago. I'm reminded that I can be at the seaside anywhere I am on this planet. Happiness is in me... not in a place. I'll write more about that later. 

I wake in the middle of the night for no logical reason other than "I ,myself, am no longer a spring chicken." I pray for everyone I can think of - at the same time really wishing I was sleeping. Just as I begin to drift off, I hear the pitter-patter of little bare feet running from the east side of the house. I think to myself, "Wouldn't it be nice to sleep in today." And, within minutes I'm drowning in hugs and kisses from a toddler giggling and proclaiming, "You're my best friend, DeeDee." I'm reminded that sleep can be highly overrated and that life often happens just as it should happen... not as we had envisioned or planned. And, I acknowledge that even the most difficult chapters of our lives are filled with sweet, sweet blessings we might not otherwise have received. I'll write more about that later.

Each morning I wake and know there are some things which absolutely have to be done that day - commitments, appointments, etc. And, each morning I wake with a long list of what I'd like to do that day. Truth be told, some days I just desire to hide under the blankets for the day. But, life pushes me out of bed. I go about my day-to-day life - making mental notes and writing blog posts along the way (in my mind). I'll write more about that later.

Whether the day ends up being great or grave, it always contains blessings - just waiting to be seen. I write daily in my mind. I record those thoughts for others to read when I feel I can. But, don't be fooled... "The fact that I'm silent doesn't mean I have nothing to say."

Join the conversation with me on Twitter & Instagram at @stuckinindiana And, hop over to the Facebook Page stuckinindiana :) Oh, and I'm on Pinterest at "stuckinindiana" too... but, don't do so well keeping up with that one :)

Do You Like Your Life Ruthann?

It's a little past seven in the evening and, I'm sitting here on the patio beside our cement pond eating leftovers for dinner. The rest of the family won't be home for several hours. The day has finally cooled down enough to be able to enjoy being outside. Beside me is a pool that has an eerie yellow-green tint to it thanks to the mustard algae we've been battling all summer. Earlier today I brushed down the sides of the pool to try to get the cleaning process started again. I'm surrounded by a wooden fence that's rotten and falling down in many places. A big portion of it is now replaced with staked up chicken wire. There's mismatched patio furniture all around me - many of the pieces held together, no doubt, by rust. Assorted hand-me-downs: play sets, swings and slides, that I vowed would never clutter up my yard, abound.

A Happy Marriage

I saw a picture on Facebook the other day... you know that place "Facebook" where everything from puppies to porn is freely shared... ? Well, I choose to look at the GOOD side of Facebook. And, the picture below, shared by Proverbs 31 Ministries, struck a cord with me. 

I feel as though I have a pretty happy marriage. I kid about the "imperfections" of my husband. But, I recognize it takes work to be "happily" married. The rewards of that work far outweigh the actual work! And, it can't be all work. It also needs to be fun & laughter & joy & hugs & smiles.

I wonder how many of these I've done consistently over the years?

A SHORT GUIDE TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE
1. be quick to forgive
2. always be kind
3. show affection
4. praise the good
5. admit when you are wrong
6. always be your spouse's champion
7. trust in God
8. share excitement
9. always have a sense of humor
10. don't take yourself too seriously
11. choose joy

picture via Proverbs 31 Ministries & www.LILBLUEBOO.com

I wonder how many OTHER MARRIED PEOPLE have done these consistently over the years? What about you?

Related posts of mine -- because we all know that I have a lot of theories on life :D

• Crazy Spontaneity 
• Capture the Flag
• Life's Snapshots - Overlooking the Obvious
• ... I Have a Theory on That
• When Dreams Die
• Birthday Eve for My Bear
• Empty Nesting in the Moments

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...

Crazy Combo's! - 31 DAYS OF CRAZY - 15 October 2012

What do the following three things have in common?  What goes into making a great combo?

Thanks Deanna, Ruthanne & Jessica!!

What DO they have in common?  

1. They are crammed in to my totally cool handmade basket.
2. They are all rather circular in shape & form.
3. They all contain (or are) a dairy product.
4. They are all delicious and, for the most part, nutritious. 
5. They are all birthday gifts for me from friends who KNOW me pretty well...
6. And, they all make me smile :)

My sweet daughter delivered 2 containers of ice cream (coffee & butter pecan, my favorites) the night of my birthday.  Earlier that evening a dear friend gave me TWO 1-pound bags of M&M's.  I love those.  And, then my sweet neighbor friend, Ruthanne, gave me a half dozen FARM FRESH EGGS!!!  (From the hen house of Lillie. Louisa, Lavern, Lucille & Lydia)

Both happiness & joy come in different sizes & shapes. Sometimes happiness comes because you're reminded of a simpler day.  Sometimes joy comes from the HOPE you hold for a better tomorrow than what you are experiencing today.  Both happiness & joy are important to a healthy life.  So, don't limit what makes you smile to what others think is valuable. Choose your own crazy combo's & share your smile with the world!  

His Words: 

(got this idea from Chase Tibbs' blog)

• "Give me happiness, O Lord, for I give myself to you." Psalm 86:4 NLT
• "Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found." Psalm 119:35 NLT
• "The hopes of the godly result in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked come to nothing." Proverbs 10:28
• "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:24 NLT

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