Our Chautauqua Adventure - Journal Entry July 8

Posting this from a journal entry written the summer of 2014.... because I FIND JOY IN... looking back on tough times & seeing God's faithfulness through the entire experience...

A day in the life of our Chautauqua Adventure - Summer of 2014 - July 8  (all pics from 7-8-14)

There are openings here in CHQ throughout the remainder of the summer -- EXCEPT that one week. Ken Burns will be here that week. If you can come any other time than Week 7 there should be no problem finding housing :) We are just in the beginning of Week 4.

Just Because You Don't SEE...

Today is Monday... and, this Saturday we move out of here... to a place yet not known.

Today is rainy and cold (really cold - 57 degrees at 3pm). Those are not conducive conditions for going out with an 18-month old (who's napping now - praise God) to look for a place to stay here for our last 10 days. As I said to a friend earlier, I'm glad that when I can't actively work on something... God is still at work. The weather (or any of our other obstacles) are no match for His abilities!

Today others might look out the windows of our tiny tree-top Chautauqua apartment & see only rain drops clinging to the tall fir tree branches & gray clouds through the lacy limbs. But, I look out and, I know that a small piece of beautiful Lake Chautauqua is there, as well!

Just because you don't see something... doesn't mean it's not there!

When I was 15 years old, I lost one of my contact lenses while having a practice for the upcoming "powder puff" football game. Friends & I searched for hours to no avail. That evening I returned to the field alone & looked again. I got totally discouraged, slumped down on the ground sitting with my legs folded. I closed my eyes and prayed. As I was praying I was fingering the grass and... you probably guessed it... the contact was in my fingers. A contact lense that had been lost over 5-6 hours before was found with my eyes closed. It was somewhat like finding a needle in a haystack. 

So, that's my prayer for this situation We are so blessed that Jessica is able to take advantage of this awesome opportunity to study, work & learn as a VACI student. And, I'm praying that something great works out for this situation. 

Today, I am praying with expectation for another "needle in a haystack" miracle from the One who holds the future and holds my hand!


#JoyDare No. 2797. 57 degrees & rain... why?

Rainy Days Call For...

Rainy days call for an afternoon nap for some... and writing for others... as they listen to the pouring rain & watch water drops roll of the top branches of a tall fir tree probably older than Grandma Moses :)

It's raining hard this afternoon (as was predicted). I should have ventured out before the noon hour. Instead, my mind & body craved a bit of quiet time after a flurry of wonderfully busy days with loved ones. Little Miss A was quite content having a tea party in her Pack N Play with all her dolls & animals. Aside from meal & snack breaks and some reading/cuddle time, we tended to keep ourselves pretty content. 

Looking at the calendar, I realized I'd failed to post my most recent month's #JoyDare list over a week ago! I added a few pics to the words already written, very quickly proofed the text & published it. Looking back on that one month of reminders of God's loving-kindness & faithfulness filled my heart with gratitude. Seeing some of the thoughts that God placed on my heart... seeing some of the pictures of moments that had brought joy...  knowing that on most days I could have listed more than three... reminded me that every day GOD IS ABUNDANTLY FAITHFUL & LOVING!

The rain has let up. The baby still sleeps. Quiet jazz plays on the iPod player which I brought along to play familiar music to make this place seem more like home for all of us. The sky's still gray. But, the clouds have lifted a bit & I can faintly catch a glimpse of Lake Chautauqua through the trees in our sky-top efficiency here within the gates. The view of the distant shore brings new feelings after spending time with my friend last week over there while she was home to visit family at the home of her childhood. 

Some rainy afternoons are great for naps for me. Today was not one of those afternoons. It was one where I needed to capture my thoughts and count my blessings... with words that flooded my mind & heart. And, I am claiming the promise... 

The LORD will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Psalm 38:8

 #JoyDare No. 2737 -  writing on rainy days & remembering... 

PAIRINGS - Beginning of the Day

Some mornings... it's best to remind myself that the promises of God are NEVER broken! I need some peace & assurance today. I am going to focus on His promises today & turn my cares and concerns over to God! Will you pray with me today?

"Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided!

Great is Thy faithfulness, LORD, unto me!" 

~ Great is Thy Faithfulness lyrics by Thomas Chisholm, 1925

"The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!'" Lamentations 3:22-24 NLT

Cries in the Darkness

I've written before about a song by Christa Wells with lyrics which seem as if they were drawn from my life. Here are a few lines that I've lived...

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep

You’re gonna soak the pillow for many weeks

You’re gonna cry Why? Why me?

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep 

‘cause for the moment all that you can see

Is what you’ve lost... lost... Why me? 

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep

A thousand miracles you’ll have to wait and see...

A Thousand Things - Christa Wells

When my heart cries out in the darkness to God, I often speak the words...

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:8

In the past five years, I've prayed that prayer many times. I hope I've done my share of crying out in the darkness - the physical darkness of night & the darkness which envelops me in times of trouble! There have been times when I was physically exhausted from crying to the Lord & many times when I've fallen asleep while claiming the promise that there will be word of God's unfailing love in the morning.

Regardless of what life brings into your path... don't hesitate to cry out to God in the darkness & remember to claim the promise that morning light will bring word of His unfailing, faithful love!

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

PAIRINGS - Lamentations 3:23

Do you ever feel like you don't have the strength to face another day? I've had plenty of those days! And, I cry out to God for strength & mercy. Every morning, He's there waiting for me with new strength. I must admit, it's one of my favorite parts of being a follower of Christ for me. I tend to depend heavily upon God for each day's strength!

Have you ever thought things like this though? 

I wish they'd get what they deserve! 

Why can't they wake up in the morning & get what they deserve!

What if I got what I deserved for the choices I've made? That's another question!! As a Christian I'm thankful for the gifts which come from God. But, I need to be reminded that God gives those gifts FREELY to all.

God's word tells us...

"The faithful love of the lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." Lamentations 3:22-23

Used in...
Every Morning... A New Start! 
I Wish They'd Get What They Deserve!

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

What a Coincidence...

How often do you say or hear:  

"Wow, what a coincidence!"

Do you hear or say things like this?

"It was so ironic that things worked out that way!"

Seems like I'm always hearing the words coincidence & ironic used...

• It's such a coincidence that the day my car broke down the neighbor offered to let me use their car while they were on vacation.
• How ironic that the child who drove us crazy with questions grew up to be a trial attorney!
• What a coincidence that the day our furnace broke, we got a refund on our taxes which had been figured out & submitted incorrectly.
• It's pretty ironic that I went to a state school known for partying and ended up connecting with some life-long non-partying Christian friends.

Peace is the deliberate adjustment
of my life to the will of God.

Here's something that happened to me. Would you find it ironic or a coincidence that I created this photo-quote pairing in the morning and then heard a loved one say words I'd been praying to hear for 5 years?

The past five years have been, by far, the worst years of my life. I've had to work hard to FIND PEACE in these years. I've had to trust in something that I could not see -- something that often looked as if it would be unattainable. I've had to give up on some of my dreams & trust in the plans and provisions of a loving God.

The only way I found peace was in surrender -- surrender to trusting in the will of God, even when I didn't know what that was. I deliberately had to ADJUST my life to accept that God was working even when it was totally obscured from me. It was a process. Even though I had scriptures (promises) memorized and even though I had audibly claimed so many of those promises, it was a process to walk in those promises. It required a conscious adjustment.

I'm not a big fan of the words "coincidence" and "ironic" when it comes to how life plays out. I'm more of a believer that God is working 24/7 on what the final outcome will be -- even when we aren't walking in step with him. He is eternally working things out for our good! 

How ironic... what a coincidence... not so much. 

God you are awesome... that works better for me!

Any times in your life that you saw the hand of God in such a way? Share with me!

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

Wounds Into Wisdom

Yesterday was a GLORY DAY for me & a dear loved one. And this morning I've been bathed in so many incredible thoughts & emotions... joy, thanksgiving, wonder & awe of God's timing & faithfulness. Oh, the mysteries of embracing God's timing to find peace!

I could say that I stumbled across a great quote this morning. But, I choose to say, "God lovingly placed this quote in front of me in His perfect timing with His loving faithfulness." When I saw the quote, I heard the following thought in my heart:

We can't do anything to change the past. The value of mistakes, hardships, poor choices, loss, pain, suffering and so much more is... to learn... to share... and to grow from them!

Today I'm reminded to allow God to work in & through everything that I face in life. He alone can...

Our Father God...

• is at working in ALL things. 
• gives us beauty for ashes.
• makes all things new.
• keeps His promises.
• completes what He's started.
• is the ultimate healer.
• and so much more!

Thank you God for your plan which wants our wounds to turn into wisdom! 

How has God turned your wounds into wisdom? Feel free to comment here or message me privately.

the stuckinindiana crazy footnote: I seem to be on a HUGE kick lately... being a bit over-the-edge at matching photos I've taken with quotes and/or scriptures. I can't get enough of it. I keep asking God... why am I so compelled to do this?? For someone who was certain she was going to die before she was of 35 and has declared over & over that she's just not quite right, I always seem to wonder... "Am I doing this because I'm going to die soon & God needs me to get it done before going home to be with Him??"

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

Enduring Love - What's That Mean?

When you hear the words "enduring love" what comes to your mind? According to my "smart phone app", Dictionary.com, endure means:
 * to go through something
 * to support adverse force or influence of any kind
 * to suffer without yielding; to suffer patiently
 * to continue to exist; to last
 * to have or gain continued, lasting acknowledgment or recognition, as of worth, merit or greatness
 * to hold out against; to sustain without impairment or yielding

For me, in most cases, enduring would most accurately mean putting up with something not very pleasant. So, what about me? Do I love anyone with an enduring love? If so... who? 

I love my husband. He's a man. I'm a woman. And gender difference alone seems to put us at odds often enough. Thankfully those differences don't hinder our relationship. With regards to our convictions & beliefs, he's a believer, like me. But, I'm very vocal about my beliefs & convictions where he's on the quiet side of that equation. I would guess he'd rather I be less demonstrative. As for me, I'm almost always wishing he'd be more demonstrative. That doesn't stop me from loving him though! So, I love my husband (aka the LOML) with an enduring love.

I love both of my children. From the terrible two's (which was actually the terrible three's for both) to the teen years & into young adulthood, we've had our share of up's & down's. They've made choices contrary to what we thought we were teaching them. They haven't been perfect kids. And, we certainly haven't been perfect parents! Sounds like there is some enduring love on both sides there :)

Since the word endure reminds me of suffering or battling through something, when I read about a "love that endures forever", I stop to ponder its meaning. The following scripture is found throughout the Bible -- used in 5 separate Psalms, as well as several other books of the Bible. It's probably a pretty familiar verse to most believers:

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever." 1 Chronicles 16:34 NLT 

The fact that God's love is faithful and it endures forever, brings such comfort to me. It reminds me that there's GRACE from God for mistakes that happen or poor choices I make. It reminds me that God's love doesn't lessen when I pull away from Him. 

He loves us where we are... how we are... why we are... WITH A FAITHFUL & ENDURING LOVE!

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

What Lies Hidden in Darkness

There have been a lot of times in my life where I've walked in darkness. I've been responsible for some of those times due to my choices. I've walked in the darkness other times due to another's choices. 

In the times when I could see nothing... God saw it all. When I didn't acknowledge His presence or power... He still saw it all. When I was walking with Him, yet experiencing seasons of darkness, I may have been at a loss for understanding but was comforted in the knowledge that He was there... working for my good. 

I will...

“Praise the name of God forever and ever, for he has all wisdom and power. He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he is surrounded by light. Daniel 2:20,22 NLT

When I trust in Him, He revels deep and mysterious things to me... in His perfect timing. 

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

(Note to my three followers - okay a few more than three: If you get a post in your inbox that's not quite formatted I probably wrote it in the wee hours of the night on my phone. Thanks for bearing with me friends!)

Please, Don't Make Me Leave My Home

Today, I am thankful for fireplaces,
space heaters, long underwear,
and the warm love of The LORD!

Today, as I waited patiently (or not so patiently) to hear back from the HVAC company as to whether the part to fix our furnace would come in before the COLD weekend, God gave me a HUGE hug!

Shortly after moving to "stuckinindiana" from the Sunshine State almost 25 years ago, it became painfully evident that I had some issues with winter blues (SAD  - Seasonal Affective Disorder). During the days that my two children were small, my moods were rather even keel. It's my theory that breastfeeding both of them well into their first years boosted my emotions. I remember the peace & fulfillment I felt as I held them near & provided for their needs in a way that none other could. In the subsequent years, I was fine in the summers when I was out walking daily in the sunshine or "babysitting" our neighbor's pool as they traveled. However, the winters were hard. 

I've learned over the years that exercise, healthy eating, and good sleep habits can maximize how I feel in the winter months. But being a "nester" most of my life, no matter how well I'm feeling, I still don't want to leave my home when the weather turns cold & gray. My inner voice is always screaming, "Please, Don't Make Me Leave My Home!" 

This cold winter morning - when I was buried under covers & praying to hear from our heating company soon - I saw a Facebook post pop up on my news feed (from the evening before) from a fellow Women's Ministries Fan ...

"Any Anderson friends have a couch I can crash on tomorrow for a few hours after 11am until about 3?"

Without really thinking about it, my fingers typed the words...

"I do -- message me!"

In about 4 hours, a young lady who attends the same church as I do (whom I'd messaged with but never met face-to-face) was fast asleep on our couch in the basement family room beside the fire, as I continued to wait upstairs by that fire for a call from our HVAC company. What a wonderful & unexpected blessing it was for God to use me in my weakness. He is so loving & kind to me -- really, to all His children. I'm thankful that my heart shouted YES when I saw Jenn's post!

Over the years, I've had people tell me that God doesn't intend for me to suffer from depression and/or winter blues. I've been told that if I truly believed in His healing powers that I would be healed of that affliction. And, I'm not a theological scholar to debate with them intelligently. However, I'm a Lover of the Lord!. And, I've always had a strong feeling when reading the King James Version of Philippians 2:12b 

"...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." 

I've gotten the sense from that scripture that I need to be seeking how I should live out the scriptures in a way that honors the Lord. Personally, I feel that God allows me to suffer in this way, at this time, while working through me despite my weaknesses.

In such a time, I run to The Word...

• "For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust." Psalm 103:14 NLT

• "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 8-10

• "If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am." 2 Corinthians 11:30 NLT

I encourage you to seek what God is saying to YOU in the Bible. Start new each morning with the hopes and belief that God will work in & through you to accomplish what is needed for the world to see God in you & desire to know God personally.

Praying for you just now... believing that God is at work in YOU!

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...

Who knew I was this strong?

What a week this has been. The nation cried out in anguish at the senseless terrorizing of the Boston Marathon participants & the Boston community. With the apprehension of the second suspect, there was a slight sense of relief. And, this tragedy has once again reminded us that... there's still a lot to be learned. 

My week began with a bang. My heart sank as I walked through some pretty scary things for a few days with a loved one. I was reminded that I have no control over many of the things that happen in my life & in the lives of those I hold dear. I only have control

Every Morning... A New Start!

They are NEW every morning! What? God's mercies! Just like it says in Lamentations 22, His faithfulness is NEW every morning. Each morning we wake up & God already KNOWS what's coming. He's never surprised! He's already at work for us... we just need to trust! Lamentations 3:22-23 are quoted so often. But, take a look at verses 20-24...

"I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!'"

You know... it just doesn't get any better than that! We who have called upon His name. We who have accepted the free gift of salvation & eternal life from God. We who have claimed the name of Christ-follower, Christian. WE have his mercies & faithfulness new every morning! He's ALWAYS at work in whatever is happening in our lives. 

As we're told in Psalm 30:5b "... weeping may endure for a night, BUT joy comes in the morning." 

Linking with Ann Voskamp community today...

My Darkest Days

My darkest days were those when I hid behind my shame.

I fled from community & into the arms of solitude.

I reasoned that I was alone in my struggle... that it was a struggle of the unworthy, of the weak, of the lost.

In those darkest of days I sought to be healed but, refused any human help!

I believed in God's power of healing but... I would only accept His complete healing... on my own terms.

He would have to heal me quietly -- without the knowledge or involvement of others.

They say that when something hurts you enough... that then, and only then, will you truly change.

When the struggle's worn you down for countless hours, weeks, months, years... how can strength to begin such a change be found? And, what's the source of that kind of strength?

The strongest chord of a strand is the deepest one. When all the others unravel, the strongest remains. The chord that ties us to the eternal. The chord that binds us to the source of of all strength.

Light began to dawn the moment I stepped out from behind my shame & said,

• "God, I will accept Your healing on Your terms."

• "I will allow others to see my wounds."

• "I will no longer define what is unworthy, weak, lost..."

• "I will trust in the chord at the center of my being that can never be severed by this world or the powers below."

I cling tenaciously and with complete hope & acceptance of this promise...

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." 

Philippians 1:6

He Walks Before & Behind

photo by T. Getz

I've been going through some especially rough days lately.  If I focused on the problems & challenges we are facing, I could consume all my energy battling the "what if's."  At some point in our lives - if we truly walk with the Lord - we need to focus on His enduring love for us.  And, we need to see the daily hugs & smiles placed in our lives by a loving Father. We HOPE for great things ahead in spite of trials today! I love that regardless of what we're facing, we can still have JOY and HOPE in the power of the Holy Spirit. 

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,

that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13 

So, do NOT be discouraged or defeated by the circumstances that seem to be sticking right beside you. God envelopes you with His love, care, blessings, and more as promised when David speaks of God:

"You both precede and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on my head."

 Psalm 139:5

Shared with the Ann Voskamp 1000 Gifts Community on 10/08/12

Painfully Insecure, Yet Full of Pride?

From my youngest days I remember being painfully insecure. As a young child I was just plain scrawny. I remember hearing my mom tell stories to guests at our house in Michigan (when I was 2-5 yrs old) about what a "colicky baby" I was. As I matured through childhood and into my teens, I grew taller but remained really thin - perhaps too thin! I remember kids making fun of how bony I was.

Well, those days have passed & no one seems to think I'm "too skinny" anymore. But, I never got over the feeling that physically I've never quite been quite up to par. Even into my early 20's, I felt like I needed to earn the acceptance of others. I was embarrassed about my appearance. I didn't feel smart enough. I didn't feel like I was particularly funny or talented in any way. I never felt like the popular kid in school. Growing up I was the "preacher's kid" in a small town &; not a safe friend to share secrets with or invite to the parties. For several years after high school, I wrote my own story in an attempt to be accepted & be a cool kid. Thankfully God's grace covered me during that time! Regardless of the number of friends I made & kept over the years though, I still felt like at any given moment they would figure out how "non-special" I was and just find a better friend.

By the grace of God & thanks to a wonderful Christian counselor, I processed many things in my late 20's and honestly began to claim the promises from God that are available to ALL of His children -- even the odd, skinny, untalented ones who were horrible colicky babies :) I stopped blaming past experiences for the way I was turning out. I began learning from experiences and moving on in a more positive direction.

Why then are there still pangs of hurt when I don't feel like the "cool kid" in my circle of peers? Is it something I've done? Are there just lots of qualities about me that people don't like? Am I not a good enough friend to keep for any length of time? Perhaps there's an expiration date on me as a friend - kind of like the expiration date on a carton of milk. When my mind goes to those types of thoughts and I question myself, I can't help but feel that some sense of self-pride must be at the root of it. But, how can I be so painfully insecure, yet so full of pride? Why can't I just concentrate on being what God wants me to be each day -- moment to moment without trying to figure out why I can't be the "cool kid"?

Intellectually & spiritually I understand that it's not about ME. But "ME" doesn't understand why I have to feel that way when at the same time I'm feeling that I'm following God's plan for my life. My life's focus shouldn't be on ME but on God. And, my heart wants my life to be about God. I'm never more at peace than when I know I am walking in accordance to His will. In Him I am complete!!

But, why does it still hurt? I don't really have the answer. So, in times of uncertainty & pain, I just trust that there's a higher purpose in it all. I take a leap of faith & claim that God is working in & through every situation as long as I'm trusting in & serving Him. I strive to serve Him, recognizing that every good gift is from Him as stated in James 1:17. I trust Him knowing that He loves & cherishes each of His children as promised in Jeremiah 31:3. 

It's on the hardest days that I find joy in the scriptures that reminds me of how short our time here on earth really is when compared to eternity. James 4:14 says: "How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it's here a little while, then it's gone." I continue to take it moment by moment making every effort to be a reflection of Christ and do my little part to lift Him up before those around me. I claim promises like the one spoken by Christ in John 12:32: "And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all unto me."

For me, it's a daily commitment. It's a moment by moment promise. I will continue to search for and claim promises found in God's Word. I'll continue to take it one step at a time while my spirit hollers "Heaven, hurry up!"

"But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world." 1 John 4:4

A NOTE ABOUT ME: If I had to choose ONE thing over anything as being of most importance to me, it would be my relationship with God (the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit). That relationship is the basis of all my decisions, my dreams, my plans, my actions, etc. My relationship with God as His child is what guides me in my choices for all aspects of my life. It truly is what I hold most dear. With that said... PAINFULLY INSECURE, YET FULL OF PRIDE?

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...