YET AGAIN... Waiting on the Porch

Last year... was especially a hard one for me. As a matter of fact the first half of this year hasn't been a lot better. 

We've experience loss, illness, death, injuries, sadness and a lot of trials! I'm reminded that my story isn't that unique when compared to the stories of others. LIFE is hard for all of us. 

The price of deep love might feel as though it will kill you. But, those feelings are usually just the "painful middle" in what will turn out to be a beautiful story.

I'm a daughter, a spouse, a parent and a grandparent. My parent is aging and experiencing challenges that often seem surmountable. My grandchild has faced and will face many situations we had hoped would never happen. And... my children aren't really "children" anymore. 

SIDE THOUGHT: Did anyone else out there think that when your child turned 21 that the biggest part of your "parent job" would be over? 

Well, I guess it is... the "parent job" is pretty much over by then. But, the love for each child never diminishes. The hopes & dreams you had in your heart as you held your infant have grown & flourished. You still hurt when your children hurt. And, their pain is no longer a skinned knee or bruised elbow from falling while playing. Their pain can be from loss of a job or a failed relationship or an unmet goal or a dreaded medical diagnosis or...

The list of things which we cannot protect our loved ones from goes on & on & on. How do we cope with that? What about the times when we can't really share what our family is going through out of respect for our loved ones? What do we do when our involvement is no longer desired from those we love? Life is full of times when we find ourselves "waiting on the porch" again to see an answer to unanswered prayers?

Once again I find myself...

At a Loss for Words...

I'm finding myself at a loss for words... and the funny thing is... it's okay...

Finding myself in the midst of Him, beyond the music - beyond the noise

Word of God speak; pour down like rain; washing my eyes to see Your majesty

Be still and know that You're in this place...

Please let me stay at rest in Your holiness...

All that I need is to be with You and in the quiet to hear Your voice...

Word of God speak; pour down like rain; washing my eyes to see Your majesty

Be still and know that You're in this place...

Please let me stay at rest in Your holiness...

I'm finding myself at a loss for words... and the funny thing is... it's okay!

question ... Five Minute Friday 6-21-19

Five Minute Friday, 21 June 2019
The word: question      

For the past 18 months, I've been battling a huge question... "Where were you in all of this God... when things started to unravel."

For the first time that I can remember in my adult life, I've been thrown by a situation which occurred that was in direct violation with what I felt was the Lord's will. I did everything humanly & spiritually possible to make sure that I felt the Lord's hand upon this situation since mid 2012. And... I had a total peace about what was happening & what I felt was God's will to happen. 

But then... in late 2017, it began to unravel. The process was pretty fast... but, felt like it stopped time. During that time, I continued to pray for the will of the Lord - feeling & believing that I knew what that was. But, when all was said & done... things didn't work out as I had hoped, prayed, desired...

"Where were you in all of this God..."

Though my world was shaken... and continues to feel unsteady, I am not giving up on the faithfulness of the Lord. I am trusting that He sees down the road and that He is at work in all of this.

BONUS: A great video from Mercy Me and exactly how I have felt...

Word of God Speak

Love the quote below and have shared it several times over on the "When You're STUCKinindiana Facebook page".

God is always present, always at work, so there are no God-forsaken situations, only situations that have been forsaken by His followers. God is answering our question with another one,

"I’m right here; where are you?'” ~ Mark DeVries  #quotes

#FiveMinuteFriday

NEW BEGINNINGS in 2019...

HOW DID I MISS POSTING THIS ONE :D

New beginnings are on the way in 2019...

Saying good-bye to 2018 and looking ahead to 2019! Giving thanks for family, friends, faith... and more! 

This has been as especially tough year for "mrs. stuckinindiana". There have been changes that were NEVER anticipated. There have been times of disbelief and denial. There have been questions about what God had spoken in the past years. There were questions about what the future would hold... what the past has meant...

AND there have been QUESTIONS: 
Is this anything that is specific to only me... mrs stuckinindiana???

NO! Life holds disappointments & hardships & confusion for all! 

How do we walk the days ahead?

We must walk as if we are CONFIDENT in the HOPE of a brighter tomorrow. Because... we are CONFIDENT that tomorrow will show us that GOD wasn't surprised by what happened... and that God has been planning ahead for this...  

HIS HAND IN ALL OF THIS WILL BE SEEN! Nothing that was ordained by Him is forgotten... nothing that has been blessed by Him will be un-blessed! He is working for the BEST for each of us!

Here are a few posts shared by us from https://www.facebook.com/stuckinindiana/ 

Worst Year Ever!!!!!

Have you ever looked back on a long period of time (12 months or more) and said to yourself.... That was the WORST YEAR EVER! Have you ever been so very certain of something to only watch it implode in front of you? Have you cried out to God and earnestly pleaded for what you felt deeply was His will - something of which you believed to be His will all along. Have you cried out to Jesus... for Him to restore what was broken... for Him to show up mightily on behalf of hurting loved ones... for Him to soften hardened hearts & heal injured souls?

I was brought up in a "Christian" home. And, by that I mean... a family who walked the talk... a preacher's family where a daily, personal relationship with the Trinity (Father, Son & Holy Spirit) was taught and lived out. The choice for me to be a "believer" was more so for my family in my younger years. But over time, I came to understand, choose and grow into my very own personal relationship with Christ. 

Over the years I've experienced a peace that passes understanding through my faith (Philippians 4:7)... in times of death, disappointment, illness, hurt, loss of relationship, rejection, fear, and more. 

          * I walked the road of cancer with my father believing fully that at any moment God would heal Dad's earthly body and feeling the perfect will of God as I sat by my dad and heard his body let out it's last breath. It was a very hard year. But, in the end, my heart knew that what had happened was in God's perfect timing. 

          * I was lied to and betrayed by a person that I felt would always be a huge part of my life. It was years before I saw what a blessing that rejection had actually been for me & my future. 

          * I've lain awake many a night wondering about the safety of a dear, loved one. I've cried countless tears over the choices and their consequences from decisions made contrary to what I would have suggested. I've felt bullied, badgered & belittled for my feelings & faith in many of those times. I'm still waiting for some of those things to be resolved. But, I believe that they will.

          * And, I could go on...

My story probably isn't any different than most others. However, I've had the peace and assurance that God was at work in all situations... working for the best --- our best! Often that peace has been painful. I'm still confused about how certain things turned out. I still wonder if some of my prayers are being sent up in accordance to His will or just to heal the pain I experience. Each day is a new beginning of trusting & believing that it will all be fine, in the end.

So, for those out there who have had similar thoughts to... Worst Day Ever... Worst Week Ever... Worst Month Ever... WORST YEAR EVER, know that you are not alone in those feelings. Be encouraged that sometimes things are falling into place when you are certain they are falling apart.

A scripture that I cling to is... 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬ http://bible.com/116/rom.8.28.nlt 

Some songs that have helped in times of struggle -- in the past year especially...

Alanna Story - I Won't Let Go

Casting Crowns - Oh My Soul 

Mercy Me - Even If 

Lauren Daigle - You Say 

Laura Story - Blessings

Hillsong United - So Will I 

Five Minute Friday: LOVED

LOVED... there's a difference in KNOWING that you are LOVED and FEELING that you are LOVED.

As a follower of Christ, I truly believe that EVERY SINGLE PERSON is LOVED by God, the Creator of the Universe.

But, when it comes to the times in life which knock you off your feet or knock the wind out of you... those times which seem to have no rhyme or reason... 

Do YOU feel LOVED?

Knowing and feeling are two very different things. Knowing I am LOVED gives me hope. But, when I also feel LOVED, I have hope, peace, and strength. I feel as though I have POWER over the unknown. I feel as if I can handle any storm or failure or disappointment that crosses my path.

I can rest in that feeling of being LOVED. I don't just have the head knowledge but, I have the heart knowledge too.

My prayer for you today is that you FEEL that you are LOVED... just as you are, without fail, each an every moment of your day.

One of my favorite reminders that we are LOVED...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HqN9spmhok

TEXT:George Matheson
MUSIC:Christopher Miner

1. O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

2. O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

3. O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

4. O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

©1997 Christopher Miner Music.

O My Soul...

DISCLAIMER: This post is 100% about the faithfulness of God (from a Christian perspective) in this imperfect world.

Have you ever felt like there were moments in life when you have been "punked"? Even to the point of wondering how God could let you be fooled like that?? Have you had something happen in your life or the life of a loved one that you could only have imagined in your wildest and scariest dreams? Have you questioned your faith or questioned the closeness of your relationship with Christ?

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words

If one picture speaks a thousand words, how much is spoken as you pour over years & years of memories captured of a loved one who has gone on? 

Just recently two pretty amazing people in our area went on to receive their heavenly reward. Both individuals had

The Struggle I'm Grateful for ... Depression & Anxiety

Yes... you read that title right... I am grateful for depression and anxiety. 

This is our 4th year over on the When You're STUCKinIndiana Facebook page to participate in making one gratefulness post a day in November. I've tried to be very thoughtful with my answers for each day. If you want to see the daily posts, look over on Facebook on the stuckinindiana page & look at the photo album entitled, November 2017 #ourthankful30. The question posed for November 27th caused me to pause and think...

What struggle am I grateful for?

There have been many

Transitions

Tonight, I sat on the floor beside an 8-month old pet chicken that I'd raised from when she was 2 days old... and I saw her take her final breaths. She was a gift for our 4 year old granddaughter last Easter. BUT, I had done the hard work to get that chicken to a healthy 8-month old pullet. She'd recently begun laying tiny little white eggs. She was our only "girl" to lay white ones. 

Last spring, I held one of our hens in my arms as she took some of her final breaths. It was late at night. I fed her water from a medicine dropper. I put soft food by her beak while she licked it. She didn't make it through the night. She'd been my little buddy - who would always come to check in with me every hour or so while they were out free-ranging. I sobbed when she was gone.

A little over 15 years ago, I sat beside my father, kissed him on the forehead and whispered some words of comfort and promise. I held his hand as I listened to him exhale that last breath of air. In that moment, I was absolutely broken yet, at the same time absolutely certain that he was in a better place. I had watched his body be ravaged by cancer for the past 7+ months. I had accompanied him & my mother on multiple medical visits. I'd sat by him in a critical care room one night when we were certain the end was moments away.

How can I possibly write about the death of two pets and my own father in the same post? It seems ridiculous... disrespectful... bizarre.

But, tonight as I watched the life ebb away from my pullet, "Maggie", I thought of the peace that prevailed as my own father left this earthly life. And, I thought about how precious life is -- even for animals.

When my father passed, I could do nothing to prevent what happened. I went into those last moments believing & knowing in my heart of hearts that God could have healed & restored his body in the blink of an eye. I knew that either his healing here on earth or his healing by passing into heaven would be quite a transition from where he was in those final moments. All I wanted to do was bring peace to the moment... the moment of transition.

And, tonight I was reminded once again that life is full of transitions. We transition from being young to being old. We transition from being child to parent. We transition from able-bodied to broken. We transition from being children to being adults. Some transition from being rich to being poor (and vice versa). Some transition from being single to be being married... to being single. My mother transitioned from being a secure, nurtured wife to being an unsure & somewhat scared widow -- as my father breathed his last breath.

Life is anything but stationary. It's full of transitions. Some seem happy. Others seem sad. May we walk with those around us... and help to make some of those transitions more peaceful.