Courage Doesn't Always Roar - write31days 10-12-16

It's been a full day... after nearly 3 weeks of the same kind of days. Oh wait... who's fooling who? It's been a full year - especially when a thousand doors opened after a late January get-away with some dear friends. Our lives seemed to go into hyper-drive then. 

The LOML & I have always been sort of fly-by-the-pants people. We never get stressed if plans for a holiday are made in the week before the holiday. We never stress over celebrating a birthday on the actual day. (As for me, I like to celebrate birthdays for weeks on end.) We like spontaneous get-aways. We aren't always that great about making plans way ahead of time.

But this latest chapter of our lives hasn't really been conducive to last minute planning. There's a lot to do here. There's a lot to do there. There are still a lot of details that are unsettled and many unanswered questions. And, there are many days when I wonder will I make it alive out of this journey - ha ha! 

The other night I was so tired of trying to figure a few things out. I felt defeated. I did not feel up for the challenge, I didn't feel capable to do what needed to be done. I felt like a coward... not at all courageous. 

Then it occurred to me that I was tired and not at my best. And, I looked back on the day and reflected upon a pretty long list of things I had completed. And, I was reminded of this quote:

"Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" ~ Robert G. Ingersoll #quote

Some days it just best to allow yourself to say, "I will try again tomorrow."

5 Minute Free-For-All – Courage Doesn't Always Roar - write31days 10-12-16

Don't be afraid to... BE YOUrself!

As a child, I was skinny... the kind of skinny that reminded most people of a child from a refugee camp. I have the pics to prove it too! I'll post a few of those at a later time - perhaps here or perhaps on the Facebook page.

The truth of the matter was that I was so tall & skinny that I got a lot of attention. And, it wasn't the GOOD kind of attention. In addition to that, there were some other things at work in my life which, since happening when I was a young child, made me feel odd & out of place. Needless to say, I never did want to BE ME! I dreamed of being someone else... someone that melted into the scenery and didn't stand out and draw attention.
 
It took a lot of years. But, little by little, I began to accept that I was uniquely created in a good way. My quirkiness hasn't totally gone & I've not really refined much as I've aged. However, I've grown more comfortable with the skin I'm in and the person I was created to be.

I'm sure I'm not alone in these feelings... the questioning of my worth or value... the questioning of my physical attractiveness... the questioning of my place in the world or my impact on the world and those closest to me. But, the "questioning" has been for a season. And, those seasons seem to be getting fewer and farther in between.

Every once in awhile there's a BIG REMINDER that I should not give in to those former doubtful feelings. One such time is depicted in the "stuckinindiana-pairing" I've used for this post. If you look closely at the picture you'll see a beautiful older woman who seemed to be very comfortable with being HER own person. I hope with the passing of each day that YOU and I will become more comfortable and accepting of our own uniqueness!

NOTE TO SELF (and to you, if it applies):

Don't be afraid to... BE YOUrself!!

 

 

(See the blog labels for related postings.)

Confessions

I have a few confessions to make... to my friends... to my family... to my peers. It's not easy to know where to begin. And, confessions open you wide to the judgement & scrutiny of others - not just to the ones you expect to be a safe place. Confessing in my private conversations with the God I've chosen to honor & serve can be tough -- especially when I let my pride get in the way. However, confessing to a God whom I believe loves me unconditionally is nothing compared to openly sharing my confessions by writing them down on paper... actually putting them out on the internet through this little blog... where anyone can read them. Not only the ones who love & accept me can read them. But, the ones who don't really care for me all that much can also see them & possibly solidify their reasons for "not really liking her all that much". 

Captivity & Oppression

Lions & Tigers & Bears... OH MY! 

What a title for a blog post, "Captivity & Oppression". 

Who would want to read something with that title? But, alas, I write from the heart & from what I know. And lately, I've been feeling a lot of captivity & oppression!

There are so many things going on in my life lately which have prompted spontaneous blog entries - living now as unpublished drafts. But, I'll need to wait until there's "more water under the bridge" before those entries get published :/ I wrote one late the other night entitled: "Hostage in My Own Home." I have no idea when that post will be cleaned up & published. But, it sure did feel good to put my feelings down on paper, so to speak. I've almost felt oppressed at times by many of the things happening around me. One of the scriptures I cited today reminded me of that blog entry & encouraged me to claim that Jesus was sent to proclaim that the captives & oppressed would be set free. I'm reminded today that life's circumstances & the choices of others in my life have no hold on my personal freedom. My freedom comes through Christ & was guaranteed when He took my sins upon the cross.

"The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the LORD's favor has come." 
Luke 4:18-19

My challenge to you out there who call yourself by the name of Christ follower... walk in the knowledge that, no matter what, we are FREE IN CHRIST. With the recognition of that knowledge, how can we not be seen by other as "salt & light" in this world.

As for me, I'm standing up to the scary animals in my life & claiming the scripture...

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them,

because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

1 John 4:4 

Too Depressed for Earrings

As I rushed out the door today to help transport a friend from one job to the next (since her teenager had the family car), I looked at my hair pulled back in a ponytail, face with the remnants of yesterday's make-up & wearing work-out clothes. And, I thought to myself,

"You really need to do something to improve your looks girl!"

The thought of putting on some glitzy earrings to distract people from the view (as I have done on numerous occasions) entered my mind. But, immediately, my inner self screamed out, 

"I'm too depressed for earrings today! Just go girl!"

I immediately burst out laughing, grabbed my car keys & headed out the door. I might not want to leave my comfortable cocoon. But, I do! And, I thank God for numerous "sister friends" who brighten my day & could care less whether I am wearing earrings or have any make-up on.

Good friends don't judge what's on the outside because, they see & love what's on the inside. They see your potential. Healthy people (or those who are TRYING to be healthy) don't hide in their homes "until they put their make-up on." But, they venture out & share their lives.

There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a sister (okay, it says brother). Proverbs 18:24