Confessions

I have a few confessions to make... to my friends... to my family... to my peers. It's not easy to know where to begin. And, confessions open you wide to the judgement & scrutiny of others - not just to the ones you expect to be a safe place. Confessing in my private conversations with the God I've chosen to honor & serve can be tough -- especially when I let my pride get in the way. However, confessing to a God whom I believe loves me unconditionally is nothing compared to openly sharing my confessions by writing them down on paper... actually putting them out on the internet through this little blog... where anyone can read them. Not only the ones who love & accept me can read them. But, the ones who don't really care for me all that much can also see them & possibly solidify their reasons for "not really liking her all that much". 


Today, while thinking about these confessions and how, when & where I want to share, I thought of a song by a great group, Alanna Story, on their newest album, Ancient Gates. The name of the song is Confession. And, that seemed an appropriate song to listen as I write throughout today. I decided to take a listen. And, I've probably already listened to it close to 30 times -- maybe more through the day and into the evening.

The lyrics to the song are below. I tried to add the YouTube link for an easy preview here but, couldn't get it to load. I'd highly recommend you take a listen :) Here's the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjmCg8Ux2no 

Confession

This is the sound of my confession
I speak out loud my heart condition
I pray that I’ll be met with grace
As I stare my demons in the face

My tongue is loose with my opinions
     (I’m quick to speak but slow to listen)
I hide behind my good intentions
     (Ignore my sin and vain ambitions)
My hands hold hurts I can’t forgive
     (A past offense, my bitterness)
I claim my rights, my innocence
     (My head won’t bow, my knees won’t bend)

I’m sorry—I’m so sorry—God, I’m sorry
I’m sorry—I’m so sorry—Please forgive me

I’ve been content to watch and see
    (To give much more’s too much for me)
Can’t still my heart to hear You speak
    (Or loose my grip to let You lead)
My work’s the master of my life
    (‘Cause I don’t trust You to provide)
And I’m afraid to sacrifice
    (When Sunday morning will suffice)

I’m sorry—I’m so sorry—God, I’m sorry
I’m sorry—I’m so sorry—Please forgive me

I lift my hands to You and put my voice behind them too
I need You—I need You
I bow my heart to You and bend the knees below it too
I need You—I need You  I need You—I need You

When I repent, when I confess
You break the back of selfishness
My soul washed clean—no scar, no mark
And like a flood You fill my heart

And... that's as far as I got with writing today... until tomorrow...