Just a glimpse of me...

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Do you ever feel STUCK? In 2000, I began looking for answers to some tough questions in my life. I'd searched high & low and finally conceded to search the promises found in the Bible. Those promises have sustained & guided me through the loss of a parent, the struggle with anxiety & depression, the loss of a valued relationship and so much more! I've found joy amid the pain. And, I want to share it with you!

29 July 2013

Grandma's Lamp

The older I get, it seems the less I knew yesterday & in the years past. I never really cared for the dated accessories my grandmother used in her home. And, yet, many years later I can see them in my mind's eye... the large collie figurine by the fire, the salt & pepper shaker collection displayed throughout the house, the framed sepia pictures of her grandparents long gone from this earth. I remember the scent of the bath soap that was by the tub (Dove) and the hand lotion she kept by the bathroom sink - which she encouraged us to use after we washed our hands (Jergens). I remember how she had a full meal ready for our family when we arrived - no matter the time and that she always called my dad "June" - her abbreviation of junior since he had the name of his father. 

Tonight as I rocked my sweet grand baby to sleep while making up verses to the tune of "Oh How I Love Jesus" (a song I probably sang hundreds of times as a child), I caught a glimpse of the lamp on the nightstand. It was a lamp I never intended to USE in my home. But, when you are paying two mortgages & helping two college students with their education costs, you don't have the luxury of buying new things for each room. You look through the things that others got but didn't want & you accept hand-me-downs that aren't exactly what you'd choose yourself. 

The lamp from my grandmother.
The night light that sat by my bed
as a child.
And, tonight I was peacefully bathed in the pale light from the base of Grandma's lamp. It has to be close to 40 years old. I remember evening prayers at Grandma's house & kisses & the base nightlight being left on - to bring comfort in an unfamiliar setting. I remember that you could barely see that light when the morning came. But, it was perfect in the night. 

I never really thought I'd ever want to have that little lamp. But, tonight it comforted me as I remembered the gentle love of generations of which I am a part. And, it gave me a special feeling of peace that I am able to gently love this new little one. 



"Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power."
Psalm 145:4



Linking today with...


27 July 2013

Silent Music

The other day my attention was caught by the following quote:


“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane
by those who could not hear the music.”
Friedrich Nietzsche 

My mind immediately went to my life! There are so many things happening lately that could easily steal the joy (aka the music) from my life. Many of my friends have questioned if I'm in denial about reality. They say things like, "You seem to be doing so well considering... " That's a fair question. Most days it makes no sense to me! 

But, I've chosen to hear the music & keep dancing regardless of what's happening in my life and even harder sometimes - what's happening in the lives of my loved ones. 

When I read the Nietzsche quote, I thought to myself, "Wow, what a great quote to pair with a scripture." First, as is my custom, I decided to see who this "Friedrich Nietzsche" was before I shared the quote. 
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844–1900) was a German philosopher of the late 19th century who challenged the foundations of Christianity and traditional morality. He was interested in the enhancement of individual and cultural health, and believed in life, creativity, power, and the realities of the world we live in, rather than those situated in a world beyond. Central to his philosophy is the idea of “life-affirmation,” which involves an honest questioning of all doctrines that drain life's expansive energies, however socially prevalent those views might be. Often referred to as one of the first existentialist philosophers along with Søren Kierkegaard (1813–1855), Nietzsche's revitalizing philosophy has inspired leading figures in all walks of cultural life, including dancers, poets, novelists, painters, psychologists, philosophers, sociologists and social revolutionaries. (source, Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)

It's a bit puzzling how someone who challenged the foundations of Christianity says something that speaks directly to how I view my relationship with Christ. 

Another part of the above cited article read:
That Nietzsche was able to write so prolifically and profoundly for years, while remaining in a condition of ill-health and often intense physical pain, is a testament to his spectacular mental capacities and willpower. Lesser people under the same physical pressures might not have had the inclination to pick up a pen, let alone think and record thoughts which — created in the midst of striving for healthy self-overcoming — would have the power to influence an entire century.

I see myself as having ill-health and often intense physical pain. Most of the time my "pain" is from struggling with mild anxiety & depression (worse in the winter months) or battling the insecurities of my youth which attempt to haunt me as an adult. However, despite those "ailments," I feel I'm accomplishing good things & sharing honestly with those who would listen. I totally believe that my honesty might bring hope & encouragement to another with similar struggles. Oh yeah, I'll admit, I get frustrated that I don't accomplish as many things as I think I should in most days. I'm far below the standards of others. But, I rarely ever wonder if I've not accomplished just what I should have done in that day!


My favorite dancing partner!
I give myself no credit for... let's say: "spectacular mental capacities and willpower... inclination to pick up a pen, let alone think and record thoughts which — created in the midst of striving for healthy self-overcoming — would have the power to influence." I give all credit to the One who created me. I totally buy in to the scripture that says, "When I am weak, he is strong." 2Cor12:10  I totally buy in to the scripture that says, "Greater is He who is in me than He who is in the world." 1John4:4 I totally buy in to the scripture that says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil4:13

Perhaps it's a case of "I say poTAYto & you say poTAHto." If so, I'm still at peace & joyful about my outlook on life. I love to dance when there seems to be NO MUSIC at all :)

God gave each of us the opportunity to choose freely how to believe. Regardless of whether their views are in line with mine, I am grateful that there are people on this planet, from all walks of life, who are dancing when there appears to be no music :)

Are you a dancer?




FOLLOW UP NOTE: The day after I posted this, a good friend & local poet/writer, Chuck Kellum, posted the following poem. I think it's AWESOME...


Joy and Sorrow

Lively we the dancing do
Throughout the full night long.
A vestal sprite plays sweet the song
That buoys us ‘til the dawn.

And glumly he
Who cannot sleep
Does curse our merry way,
As all the while he’ll toss and turn
Until the break of day.

We in our glee
Know of him not,
But he in turn knows well
How he himself was once, like us,
Rapt in nocturnal swell.

And as our hearts rise light with bliss
His falls in dark despair,
Deaf to the tune
That lifts us now
Into the nighttime air.

©2013 by Chuck Kellum


26 July 2013

Talk Amongst Yourselves

"Talk amongst yourselves." For some reason, that statement always cracks me up. Nothing like being at a seminar or meeting where you are told to "talk amongst yourselves" while things are figured out or fixed so that the meeting can continue.

I thought about that statement today in a different way...

I'd like to challenge you to take some time today or in the coming days to touch base with someone who might benefit from a kind word or word of encouragement. Take some time to just TALK with someone -- face to face, if possible. Perhaps you need to take time to make a phone call to a distant friend or relative. Be mindful of your time with new friends & friends who've been in your life for years. I shared a health & wellness tip about building friendships via my church's Women's Ministries some time ago was:
"To build new friendships, put away the phone. Keeping your phone out can ruin conversation and make new friends feel less connected." via Cleveland Clinic
We could all do with more face to face time and less screen time. So talk amongst yourselves. Be an encourager. Be a friend. 
"There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a sister (perhaps the original said brother)." Proverbs 18:24

This is a small group from my church.
They meet weekly -- often just to talk.
But, eating is always fun too :)

I'd love to HEAR from you. Who are you going to contact? How do friends make your life better? 


Linking with the One Thousand Gifts Community:


23 July 2013

Awesome Girlfriends I Have!!!

I have quite a few girlfriends who inspire me to be a better person... while completely accepting me & loving me right where I am. I volunteer for my local church to communicate information for two ministry areas: Women's Ministries & Worship Arts Ministries. This week I was blessed to write a story about what some of my awesome girlfriends are doing with other friends in our community. Here it is...


If you participate in Zumba with our SisterFitness girls at Madison Park or follow us at all via Twitter or Facebook, you've been hearing some great things about the Great Give. On Tuesday, July 9th, Natalie & Hillary, the sisters of SisterFitness, showed up to lead the Zumba group at Madison Park. Here's an excerpt from their post the following day about that night:
God showed up last night.
  • We went to the bank feeling strongly that we needed to get out $700 to give away. That just happened to be the exact amount the bank had in $5 bills.
  • We showed up to class – a class that has been averaging about 80 people during these summer months – and God brought us exactly 140 people… 140 people x $5 = $700.

Simply. Amazing.
  • This is not about Sister Fitness. This is not about Madison Park Church. This is not about any single one of us. This is about God being ready to do something HUGE for our community with the humbled hearts of any of us willing to participate.

What exactly IS the Great Give? In the words of our friends in the first post about the Great Give, "If you are reading this right now, you are blessed. You have the Internet with some sort of device to search and retrieve information....READ MORE HERE

The Great Give will benefit the ministry of Dove Harbor. Learn about the Dove Harbor story here.




The past 2 weeks have been full of wonderful stories of what $5 can equal. Many of the people have done something great with their $5.
  • The children of SisterFitness started the entire thing out with a  sweet show of support!
  • Kimberly Majeski (our BOHO ministry coordinator) wrote two posts related to the Great Give: The Great Give and Strip Club Theology.  
  • Some of the ideas to support the Great Give so far have involved: chocolate, birthdays, crayons, cornhole, local government and running.
  • For all the stories shared via our Madison Park Zumba girls at SisterFitness, take a look here. 

The Great Give will conclude ONE WEEK FROM TODAY, Tuesday July 30th, as the participants of Zumba at our Madison Park facility will gather & give back their "$5" to go to the ministry of Dove Harbor. If you would like to participate in the Great Give by making a contribution online, click here. 

We are blessed to be in community with YOU! Thanks for your love & participation. 

From a volunteer who's BLESSED to be play a small part in the BIG PLAN of God through the WomMin of Madison Park...
The Communications Gal - c

RE: Women's Ministries at Madison Park
The best sources for all the information about what the women (young & not-so-young) of MPC are up to can be found via The Tuesday Scoop, our Facebook page & our Twitter feed. For the complete picture of what's happening at Madison Park Church, we encourage you to check the main website daily AND subscribe to the Threads Email Updates.



As I've said before, often times the things I do which don't put a penny in my pocket fill my heart with blessings that are invaluable! I am so grateful to have such inspiring girlfriends!

22 July 2013

Chapter 13718

After beginning about 25 different projects, I just sat down to rest a moment & updated my Facebook status...
I'm tearing up my house today... and hoping to put it back together sometime soon :)

My mind's FULL of thoughts today. We've had a bumpy week to say the least. And... I'm just plain worn out. That never helps my attitude. But, I'm hanging in there & looking beyond myself for strength, provision, guidance, and much, much more! 

In times like these I tend to be anti-social. I love my newer home (yep, still praying that the other one sells SOON). I love looking out into fields here that go for miles and miles, walking along pastures of bleating goats as they run toward me hoping for a handful of clover, eating more than I should of the cherry tomatoes on the way back from harvesting in our garden, hearing bird songs in preparation of the sun's rising and as the night approaches... should I go on? Yet, I continue to struggle not to be anti-social -- with going to church on Sundays being about the only time I want to show my face in public! 

The LOML (love of my life aka husband) & I are entering a new chapter in our lives as we welcome one of our adult children & a sweet, little baby into our home for a season. In about 4 weeks our other "young adult child" will return to Ohio to begin his junior year of college. And well, we won't be EMPTY NESTING it this fall. The four of us will be inconvenienced to some extent with these changes. As for me, those inconveniences will be faced with the belief that this is a VERY GOOD thing in all of our lives. It's a new chapter with great possibilities. For now, there's plenty of housework to make things work in this house as we add two more loved ones to our home. Certain projects that weren't at all crucial (like cleaning out the guest room) have become important as we "re-work" things around here.

So for today, I'm tearing up things... so that things can be made new :)





HIS WORDS:
"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

Linking with Ann Voskamp at One Thousand Gifts

15 July 2013

Full Participation!!

I'm in the process of writing a note to my sisters about our sweet, little "GLAMdaughter". Tomorrow will be her Half Birthday (as her Mommy calls it)... 6 months old!!  I'll accompany her & her Mommy to a breast feeding support group sponsored by the local hospital to get her weighed & measured tonight. Only then will I be ready to send out my note! We're pretty sure she's broken the 16 pound mark :)
 
Waiting for the praise to start.
Getting there early to get a great seat for our little one :)
As I wrote, I was telling them about how A totally gets IN to the worship service each Sunday at our church. She yells out, waves her arms, kicks her feet -- all while smiling a huge toothless smile! I stated, "She totally wears herself out in worship." 
 
As I wrote those words, I had the thought of how incredibly pleasing that would be to God if we each did that!
 
I pray that I will give my ALL as I worship Him - whether in a church service or at a small gathering of friends or sitting beside a firefly-lit soybean field at night in the middle of nowhere! 




Found this picture from a few weeks ago and just had to add it on today...
"She totally wears herself out in worship."

How do YOU worship?

Linking with Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts Community...

I Can't Stop Singing That Song!

Does anyone else go to a movie, musical or play & get the musical score stuck in their head? "Les Miserables" has been sung around our home a LOT lately... and not just by me. From time to time a song from the radio will be stuck in my head & I keep singing or humming it. 

The other Sunday at church we sang a song which was introduced to our congregation as a choir song quite a few years ago. It has taken its place among the songs we now sing from time to time as a congregation.

Take a listen to "How Can I Keep from Singing" from Chris Tomlin:




‎
There was another song I sang back in the 80's (yes, I'm old) that had the same effect on me. Some of the lyrics were:

If we keep our voices silent, all creation will rise & shout. 
If we fail to praise our Father, then will the very rocks will cry out.
I thank God that in the smooth times & in the rough times, a song still stirs in my heart.


"The birds don’t sing because they like to hear themselves sing.
They sing because they have a song."
 ~ Lou Holtz 

How about you? What songs are stuck in your heart today?


08 July 2013

Each Day...


There's something freeing to wake up each day knowing that in Christ I am a new creation. I'm not anywhere near perfect. But, I've chosen to follow the One who is. So each day....

  • Each day is an empty page on which to paint a beautiful painting.

  • Each day I'm given the choice to make music of the sounds in my world. I don't have to accept them as chaos but, have the choice to make them into a melody.

  • Each day I can seek to see beyond the bottom of the tapestry of my life, all frayed & unattractive, and look through the eyes of God from Heaven's view.






So each day, when your mind tries to look back to form its view for the coming day, don't look back. The future is ahead. The past has nothing new to say.



Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

What can YOU do each day? 





Me... The motivated, effective person

I'm reminded daily (okay, multiple times daily) that I am a very flawed individual. Thankfully, the Lord constantly reminds me, when I'm seeking His direction in all that I do, my "flawed being" can & will be used by Him. That doesn't make me perfect OR make everything I do just right. But, it does give me the assurance that God is at work in me moment by moment... to convict, to make pliable, to mold & shape... to use in His big plan. One of my nieces who is attending AU posted a great quote a few days back on Facebook. It really spoke to me:

"If we have the idea that we have to put on our 'spiritual face' before we can come near to God, then we will never come near to Him. We must come as we are." - Oswald Chambers
In a recent 4-day holiday weekend, I awoke in the wee hours of the morning every single day. Yep, on the days when the LOML (aka hubby) could sleep in beside me, I was wide awake before 5am! The motivated, effective person would get out of bed & get a jump start on the day. That's not me though -- at least not lately. So, I quietly stayed in bed, reading all the devotions I get via email in my FOUR accounts. I saved quotes, copied photos & read passages of the Bible related to each devotional. I refused to get up & about totally. I chose to catch a few more minutes of shut-eye when my body became sleepy again - usually around 7 to 8am. Then, I let my husband be my alarm clock when he woke up & made coffee for us.


I could have fretted about what I did & beat myself up for being so lazy. If I told my MOTHER about what I'd done, she'd lower her head & shake it in shame. And, to be honest, I should have used some of that time to do a few other things... but, I didn't. The choice I made gave me the opportunity to call out to God & move forward. God uses even our wasted time when we give it over to Him :) And, sometimes our wasted time isn't really that wasted in God's eyes.

I love God! He's all about grace :)  I want to be like that too, recognizing that God is working for good in all situations - even the horrendous ones.


22 April 2013

My Sincere Apology to All My Blog Followers

MY SINCERE APOLOGY TO ALL OF MY BLOG FOLLOWERS...

I, stuckinindiana, do hereby sincerely apologize to all my followers -- all 14 of them, wait... that would be 13 - 'cause I follow myself from another email address :)

The reason for the apology:

On my morning walkabout today, I had a million blog-inspiring thoughts. Well, maybe not a million but, possibly more than I can remember now that I'm home.  At some point those posts will possibly clog your email Inboxes.  My mind just would NOT stop with all the 140-200 character thoughts that came - and each with a story attached in my mind, to be written down later.

Some of those thoughts from my early morning walkabout:
  • a soccer "parent support" shirt with the words "Ayla's Mom" scrolled across the back in big, bold letters... someday
  • the time I was flashed when I was a student at Anderson University
  • what a "DeeDee" would say to a flasher today
  • "Love might not always condone. But, Love never condemns!" #LoveDoes
  • I'm telling you, if any of my Anderson area friends are holding out on their access to a bucket truck, they are going to feel really badly when the LOML and/or I get impaled by that big pointy dead branch precariously hanging over our driveway 
  • I only have room in my life for ONE OF THOSE & mine's at home now
  • castanets at my funeral
  • some of the hilarious effects of exercising way too infrequently
  • fleeing the county on foot
  • just because someone's hard to love doesn't mean you shouldn't love them! 
  • God waiting on a bench for me to stop & talk
  • if my husband dies, I will need to find a man who will help take care of me & not want any fringe benefits
  • Dear God, I sincerely hope we are about DONE with the lesson we needed by having TWO houses (complete with 2 mortgages, 2 property taxes, 2 homeowner insurance policies, 2 sets of utility bills, 2 properties to maintain, etc.) 'cause I am SO READY for someone to buy that other house
  • before I die, I need to find someone who is 100%, head over heels, crazy IN LOVE WITH THE LORD to write lyrics that bring honor & praise to God for Elton's John's tune "Funeral for a Friend" ... I will have Tyler arrange the song for my memorial service... I would like Brenton Pollock to play the castanets :)
  • I've lived most of my life with one foot in the grave... knowing that death brings eternal life for those who love the Lord; there've been times when my focus was on escaping life through death; but, the real focus should always be about how only through death can we share in eternal life

And seriously, there were a lot more that will hopefully come back to me throughout the day.  I'll add them later :)

So for now, this little note will have to do. Beware, there are a lot more to come... someday soon... maybe... hopefully :)

Sometimes life gets in the way of LIFE :)

May your day be filled with wonderful reminders of how much God loves you... right where you are, just how you are... today & everyday.