PAIRINGS - Dreaming Dreams

I'm a big dreamer... a day dreamer AND a night dreamer :) Some of my dreams are hilarious. Others are other-worldly. Some are sad or scary. A few felt more like a glimpse into the future. I love DREAMS & DREAMING. One of my favorite things is waking up with the memory of a dream lingering.

"There is nothing like a dream to create the future." ~ Victor Hugo

When I looked in the Bible, this scripture about dreaming stood out to me:

“Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions. In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on servants—men and women alike.

Joel 2:28-29

Keep dreaming friends!

Romantic GetAways + Anne Frank #write31days 10-14-16

An explanation of my PAIRINGS posts: I'm a very visual person - a touchy, feely, emotional person. I'm deeply moved by music, lyrics, quotes... and so many scriptures. I've loved writing & taking pictures since I was young. At some point, I decided to put them all together in a sort of "pairing". And, the rest is history.

This "stuckinindiana pairing" is full of memories for me -- a photo from a wonderful time away with the LOML,

2016 April 2 of 3 ONE THOUSAND GIFTS

Three Gifts A Day: APRIL 2016

Based on the book, One Thousand Gifts, (by Ann Voskamp) #1000Gifts #JoyDare

I took the 1,000 Gifts Dare for the year of 2012... continued in 2013... and 2014... and 2015. Going to hit 5,000 in 2016!!! GOD IS FULL OF BLESSINGS...

Mon 4-11

4570 eating "chocolate coffee grinds" - per the Little

4571 de-cluttering the closets

4572 country sunsets

Tues 4-12

4573 Father Gregory has more "pretty little yellow flowers" than we do :)

4574 some of my favorite lichens :)

Today... It Should Be Snowing...

The emotions were too raw the day I wrote this. I could not bear to publish it on that day. But, today I find myself missing & thinking about that friend who went HOME on December 6th... and is now made whole...

Today is cool & rainy. But, given my mood... it should be snowing today. It feels like winter. I feel like I need to hibernate in my home and come back out in the spring. My heart is full of emotions as I just learned from a dear friend that she will be turned over to hospice care next week.

How to LOVE the UnLIKEable

In 3rd grade I was IN LOVE with Tony Green. He was so handsome, I could hardly keep my jaw closed when I looked his way. He had the cutest smile & the most incredible green eyes -- to match his last name. When I found out that those eyes were "wandering eyes" and that he'd been passing notes in school to several of us 3rd grade girls, the LOVE turned to HATE pretty quickly. I took his school picture, drew devil horns on his head, drew a pitchfork beside him, gave him a demonic mustache and goatee & stuck a push pin through both of his eyes! And, then I tucked that picture away in my "treasure box" to be discovered years later when I was all grown up.

How does it go so quickly from LOVE to HATE. And, what's the difference between LOVE and LIKE? Can we LOVE people who are clearly unlikeable to us?

The Grass Is Greener...

My husband is used to me blurting out, "Please pull over so I can get a picture of that sunset!!" He's had to live with me & my obsession for photography (of sunsets, sunrises and much, much more) for many years now. Tonight was no exception. As we were headed to the Open House at our g-daughter's day care center, the sun was setting. And, I was smitten. The clouds seemed to make a trail to the west - beckoning me to follow. 

I've wanted to float away from my responsibilities & my reality with the clouds on many occasions. I've wanted to catch hold of a jet trail & take it to distant places. I've watched people getting on planes & day-dreamed about where they were going & if I'd like it there.

Seasons of Life - Stretching, Learning & Growing

I'm in the season of my life when I get to accompany a parent to health care visits. And, yesterday was one of those days. However, said "parent" is in a season of life where she does not want to listen to a thing I say - ha ha! The day was a little challenging... in that way. However, I would not have missed the time with my loved one. 

We laughed, talked, and reminisced. We enjoyed a leisurely lunch at an old mom & pops restaurant located in a 100+ year old building which was former a bank. We strolled through a small shop along the main street of that town & talked about fashion trends these days. I shared pics on my phone of our son's recent engagement at the State Park where we'd taken her & Dad on his last Christmas. We looked at pics of my g'daughter -- HER GREAT g'daughter -- and the adventures of hiking, playing & meeting Peg + Cat and Bob the Builder at a recent costume party.

A Woman's Most Perfect Curve

It's been said that when you're comfortable in your own skin, you're at home anywhere. I can't really say I've ever been super comfortable in my skin. When I was in grade school, I was grossly thin -- the kind of thin that other kids used for jokes on the playground. To make matters worse, in junior high, I grew several inches & looked a bit like the TV character LURCH on the Adam's Family. In high school, skinny wasn't as much an issue as the fact that my body... well, my body... didn't look very mature. I was told in front of the entire youth group at church (my peers) that I still looked like a 6th or 7th grader. High school moved into college years & the curves I had desired were skipped!. What I got were the "ugly curves" associated with that awful term know as "the College Freshman Forty."

Dream On...

Have you ever openly shared your heart & your desires with a friend to only hear the words, "Dream on!"?? I've heard that phrase more than once as I told someone about some of the desires in my heart. When I was young, I dreamed that I grew up to live at the Biltmore Estate... I rode the horses daily. I watched deer graze in the lawn below from my balcony. I walked the trails along the Reflective Pond & the Broad River. I read books lying on the shaded hills overlooking the Smoky Mountains. And, I entertained guests at lavish dinners & royal balls in MY HOME.... in my DREAMS.

Rainy Day Recipe - Country Cemeteries

It was what I like to call my birthday week... which generally turns into my birthday month for celebratory reasons. The weather was not cooperating!! Although the forecast called for only a 30% chance of rain, we seemed to be getting all of our portion during the daylight hours - specifically between the hours of 7:30am and 3pm - when my schedule is more open due to family members being out of the house. A brisk walk for 3-4 miles along country roads in the rain might happen every once in awhile. But, my idea of "walking in the rain" does not meet true exercise standards.

Cancer + Coincidences = Peaceful Sleep

Can you tell how USED
this book is :)

I'd lost count of the nights trying to sleep on a chair in the waiting room or in the guest room at my parents house during my dad's battle with cancer that year. The unexpected hospital stays were happening more frequently & reminded me of the two months I'd spent in the hospital during my second pregnancy. Both times, when I was there & when my father was there, a constant parade of nurses, doctors, interns & staff members filled the days & nights with their visits. There always seemed to be many more questions than answers. Was I ever glad about my zeal for medical knowledge all those years ago in my high school & college days. That made it a little easier to understand their "medical jargon".

One night at the hospital, Dad took a turn for the worse

Struggling to Do It ALL!

I'm a wife, a mom, & a DeeDee (my g'mommy name). I'm a daughter, a sister & a friend. I'm a volunteer, a blogger & a somewhat-but-hopefully-not-totally-addicted social media person. Putting all of those things together (as is the series title for this month) is a daunting challenge. But, the worst thing of all is... I'm an over-achiever. 

My childhood, youth & adulthood have been riddled with me feeling insecure and struggling

Living Fully & Letting Go of Expectations

       I recently escaped real life for a 5-day trip away from the soybeans, corn & cows to the land of red clay, REAL sweet tea & sweltering hot sun. We packed our car to the roof with 3 adults, 1 infant & enough baby stuff for a 2-week trip out of the country. We headed away from the plains, through the Smoky Mountains and toward the deep south... Sumter, South Carolina.

Honoring the Memory of My Sister

My mom carried her first child full term with no complications. The baby was active during the pregnancy and in the early stages of labor. But with no warning, she was stillborn. No husbands were allowed to be in during deliveries back then. No explanations were given back in those days. My mother was left in the surgical room, for what felt like an eternity to her, as she faced this new reality... alone.

It seems strange to feel a connection to someone who never breathed their first breath of life -- to someone whose life was only demonstrated by normal kicks & wiggles while nested in my mother's womb. It seems odd to feel a connection with a person I never met. My mother's connection to that child runs deep. And, I feel a strong connection as well. My heart tells me that one day I will meet her in heaven and, we'll rejoice together that we are sisters.

On October 25, 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Later the day of October 15th was set aside as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It's to be a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss & infant death (which includes but is not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn). Presently, it's observed annually in the United States & Canada. In recent years, it's also been observed in the United Kingdom, Italy and the Australian States of Western Australia & New South Wales. The day itself is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils and concludes with the International Wave of Light, a worldwide lighting of candles at 7:00pm. 

I chose to observe that day this year by doing something I've thought of hundreds of times but, never done. I decided to go the cemetery on the southwest side of my town where my mother's first child (my not-yet-met sister) was interred. My intent was to find the grave-site and leave flowers picked from my yard. In talking with my mother, I learned that the remains of my sister had been relocated in the 60's beside her mom's remains. My maternal grandmother had died when my mom was a young adult. With the help of a friend who works in the office there, I was able to locate the grave sites. Beckie's grave marker was totally buried under sod. The sod was quite wet due to the drizzling rain. So, I got down on my knees & began clearing dirt away with my hands... 

Journal Entry 10-15-2014: Today I cleared off my sister Beckie's grave marker & left a bouquet of country wildflowers there. In doing so, I hope I honored the memory of her... and the great sacrifice that was made by my mom on that day so many years ago. My prayers go out to those who have experienced such a deep, deep loss!

Linked with the Nesting Place community through the write31days challenge, October 2014 - post No 19.

Dealing with Sleepless Nights

Sleepless nights... OH HOW I KNOW THOSE! They say it has something to do with age. I don't always agree with "they". Sometimes I'm wide awake due to over-stimulation from a full day. Sometimes I'm wide awake over-thinking situations or planning an upcoming event. Whatever the reason... I am quite familiar with sleepless and restless nights. (But, I have a theory on that.)

My approach to sleepless or restless nights is first to spend some time in prayer about other people & their needs. I also give thanks for blessings that I saw that day. I recite scriptures that I've memorized and recall lyrics to songs that have blessed me before. 

Two of my "Go To's" on the nights when sleep eludes me:

1. The lyrics from "Jesus, King of Angels" by Fernando Ortega. His lyrics are such a sweet reminder of God's vastness and His intimacy walking hand in hand. 

Jesus, King of angels, heaven's light,
Shine Your face upon this house tonight.
Let no evil come into my dreams;
Light of heaven, keep me in Your peace.

Remind me how You made dark spirits flee,
And spoke Your power to the raging sea.
And spoke Your mercy to a sinful man;
Remind me, Jesus, this is what I am.

The universe is vast beyond the stars,
But You are mindful when the sparrow falls,
And mindful of the anxious thoughts
That find me, surround me, and bind me...

With all my heart I love You, Sovereign Lord.
Tomorrow, let me love You even more.
And rise to speak the goodness of Your name
Until I close my eyes and sleep again.

The universe is vast beyond the stars,
But You are mindful when the sparrow falls,
And mindful of the anxious thoughts
That find me, surround me, and bind me...

Jesus, King of angels, heaven's light,
Hold my hand and keep me through this night.

2. Psalm 4:8 is a favorite verse to recite when those sleepless night try to captivate me... 

"I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8 NKJV

What do you do on the restless nights?

Linked with the Nesting Place community through the write31days challenge, October 2014 - post No 18.

All You Need Is Love

There are times in life when you are... held between earth & heaven... with no words to speak... with only raw emotion to remind you that you are, in fact, still alive. The passing of a cherished loved one... cradling a newborn baby in your arms... hearing the diagnosis of a terminal illness... watching your child grow up to give birth to their own... being broken under the load of grief & sense of loss when a marriage dies...

The Value of FREE Things

The weather is NOT cooperating... for mowing lawns... for the farmers needing to bring in the harvest... for those of us who want to exercise outside! This was the second morning this week that we've tried to get back in from our morning walks before being caught by the rain. Yesterday I was pretty soaked by the time I returned to my house. This morning I was running extremely late to meet up with my friend. It would seem that someone just piled all the WET walking clothes, gloves, etc. in a heap on the laundry room floor. And, 53 degrees with a chance of rain is NOT a time to go on a walkabout without the proper attire.

Making Daily Deposits

As a young woman, I was convinced that I should not have children - as I would NOT make a good mother. I was insecure, not that smart (merely an overachiever), and ill-equipped to shepherd a young life through this crazy world. I was convinced that the world was getting worse & worse as the years went by. "Who would want to bring a child into this world?" was what I thought. And then I fell in love with a man who had different ideas about being a parent...

Am I being prejudiced by saying that men seem to be a little more confident about their endeavors & their capabilities? Well, my man was confident that we would make great parents. So, with his loving encouragement & support... we headed down the road of becoming "Mommy" and "Daddy".

We didn't have a lot of money. We didn't have a big house. We started out by living in an apartment owned by an aunt & uncle that was available for several months. Then we rented a small 2-bedroom apartment. With the help of the LOML's parents, we were able to buy a small house with 2-bedrooms after the birth of our first child. The house also had a fully furnished 3-bedroom basement apartment ready to rent out to local college students. Even with that extra rental income, we barely brought in enough to make ends meet. But, we were rich in "LOVE"... for each other & for our children.

I was determined to create memories with our two children regardless of the amount of available financial resources. We started with the simple things... 

• vacations & holidays staying with family members in their homes
• homemade costumes for Halloween
• birthday celebrations at home with family & friends 
• picnics on a blanket on the floor in front of a kids movie
• hand-me-down clothes or clothes from a local GoodWill Store
• rides in the car to check out the farmers harvesting in the fields surrounding our town or to see holiday lights
• walks in the neighborhood or through the local state park year-round
• wrapping up items we needed for our gifts at Christmas & birthdays

We didn't have money to do things as I'd once hoped I would as a parent. We gave what we had... our time & our love. We did the best we could to give our children some fun, loving memories to remember as they grew up. Most of the time, our gifts to them were the simplest of things. We pray that our deposits into the lives of our children will help them as they walk forward into their adult lives.

"Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children." ~ Charles R. Swindoll

Linked with the Nesting Place community through the write31days challenge, October 2014 - post No 14.

Buried Alive + Grocery Lists + Blogging

At the moment, I feel stuck. And, it's not a horrible "stuck" though. I'm trapped under a napping baby girl who seems to be in a pattern of detecting when her DeeDee (my g'mommy name) moves her to her bed for nap time. I'm entering this post with one hand on my smart phone :)

I have a million little things that need to be done -- most of which I cannot do while buried here. And, many of those tasks are nearly impossible to accomplish in her waking hours!

I'm a lefty and "working" on my phone with that hand. I've made a grocery list & am writing now. Even though my left hand is free, it's falling asleep from the lack of blood flow. And, come to think of it, my shirt collar feels very warm and perhaps a little wet. Could someone be drooling on me? I'm getting a little drowsy myself. Here's comes the question I battle almost every time I'm stuck in this way... "To sleep or not to sleep?"

It's not easy to accomplish things with a little one knocked out on your chest or following behind you on your heels... or digging in the kitchen trash when you look away for 30 seconds. Note to self: Don't loose sight of the toddler for a moment in their waking hours. 

All of a sudden an image pops in my head of her "FINGER PAINTING" the wall & window with some unknown substance the other day when she appeared to be playing with dolls, books and puzzles in her Pack N Play. 

I guess being buried alive under a drooling toddler at this moment isn't bad at all :)

Linked with the Nesting Place community through the write31days challenge, October 2014 - post No 12.

The Clutter of Life

If you could see this full picture,
you would see that she's
covered with black beans
from below her chin to
the top of her fuzzy little head!

The house is partially decorated for fall with the summer things sitting alongside until they get put away. The floors are littered with cardboard books, dolls & stuffed animals. A Pack N Play sits in the great room & serves as a huge toy box. It can no longer HOLD our little climber! The kitchen sink is full - as is the counter beside it. The laundry room has 2 loads of clean clothes waiting on the top of the dryer to be folded. The dryer holds one more load which will come out when there's a place for it. There are NO LESS THAN 150 oil & acrylic paintings leaning against walls in practically EVERY room of the house. (That's another story there!) And, let's not even talk about the Christmas tree topper