sunrise thoughts 22 October 2015

Temptation... yeah, that's what my first thought was THIS morning. Granted, it was about 2 hours from the actual time of sunrise when I awoke. But, it was my first thought. I was dead tired physically - having probably gotten less than 5 hours of sleep last night. And, at my advanced age,

sunrise thoughts 08 October 2015

I totally overdid it with the outside work yesterday. It seems to be a pattern I have... struggling with the sames issues I've had since childhood... over-achievement, obsession and insecurity. Seriously?!? What kind of character traits are those to carry through life?

Struggling to Do It ALL!

I'm a wife, a mom, & a DeeDee (my g'mommy name). I'm a daughter, a sister & a friend. I'm a volunteer, a blogger & a somewhat-but-hopefully-not-totally-addicted social media person. Putting all of those things together (as is the series title for this month) is a daunting challenge. But, the worst thing of all is... I'm an over-achiever. 

My childhood, youth & adulthood have been riddled with me feeling insecure and struggling

I Hate Over-Achievers!

Have those words ever crossed your mind as you watched someone going above & beyond what was required or expected? I've thought it many times while watching others & wallowing in my insecurities. 

And, I dare say, it's been thought of me as I've pushed myself or pushed others in the hopes that the best would happen or that efforts would be recognized & rewarded. That pushing was also, most likely, fueled by my insecurities.

Where's the line between giving your best and demanding too much?

Loved this clip art I found!
Throw in a baby & a few
more other things...
Add a few pounds & a longer skirt...
and you have ME!

I'm an over-achiever and, I often hate that about myself. I have the desire to cover-up anything happening in my life that is less than okay or might make me look like a slacker. On the other hand, I love to write about & share my life honestly and openly with friends & those who read my posts. This, perhaps, is another reason I write from the identity of "stuckinindiana" :)

Well, if you think I have the answer to the question, "Where's the line between giving your best and demanding too much?" -- I'm afraid you might be disappointed with this post. My entire blog is more about "the journey" than "the answers." I've struggled with the question above since early childhood! I imagine it'll be a challenge for me for years to come.

And, guess what? I have a theory on that :) I believe that there are certain areas of weakness in each of us which rear their ugly heads frequently. I believe that most of us re-fight many of the same battles as we move through life. With each time the ugliness appears, I find it best to immediately hand it to God. I fight the battle once again with His help. I believe God refines us in the fire, making us stronger through those reoccurring struggles. I've learned a variety of things fighting my over-achiever battle again & again :)

Where do you stand on the question:

Where's the line between giving your best and demanding too much?

A promise I claim:

"I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'These are my people', and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.'"  Zechariah 13:9

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

I long to accomplish a great and noble task...

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it's my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."
Helen Keller

Wow!  I mean, WOW!  I totally relate to that quote!  I grew up with a very poor self-image.  It's been something with which I've struggled for my entire life.  The skinny, gangly young girl has become the middle-aged not-so-fit woman.  The young child who heard over & over from a loved one that no one would ever like her if they really knew her has truly found complete acceptance & love from the One who created the universe... and LIFE!  The over-achiever compensating for feelings of insufficiency has mellowed over the years - but, still rears it's ugly head from time to time. I had the same dreams of almost every young girl - to become someone important, someone of influence. 

What my head knows & what my heart knows still continues to be compromised by the thoughts & feelings of "what if..." 

What if I'd become famous? Would I have made a more profound affect on this earth's inhabitants?  Would I have been able to bring more to the knowlege of Christ? 
What if I'd been wealthy? Would that have made it easier for me to spread God's news or would I have "sold my soul" for the comforts & influential friends of the rich?
What if I'd been incredibly smart or creative?  Would I have found a way to create something that would share the truth of God with more people?

Life is full of questions. 


This is a great reminder to me of where my value lies.

Life isn't always full of all the answers. 

But, I've learned, in the struggle, that some day all things will be brought to light. I have learned that in the struggle one becomes stronger. I have learned that what God gave me is enough to do what He needs me to do.  No one is equipped better than ME to do what only I can do for Him.

I am encouraged by the feelings in my heart, by the words in the Bible, by the small, still voice within my soul...

... that it's my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.

(written 1/12/12)

I Was Created to REST

(written 12/15/11)

Really... ?  Did I say that aloud?  I was created to REST.  But, the truth is we were ALL created to rest.  We weren't created by God to be on-the-go 24/7.

In Isaiah 30:15 the Sovereign LORD says: "Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength."

Sometimes we just need to put our feet up & rest!

Resting not only allows us to take a break from the things which are making life hectic but, it allows us to regain strength & focus to face the coming challenges.  The Bible also says in the 3rd chapter of Ecclesiastes that there is a season for everything under the sun (http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Ecc&c=3&v=1&t=NLT#1).  It doesn't say that everything is right for every season.  Some seasons of life, God wants us to rest from certain things... resting in His arms & learning from our time of rest with Him. Some seasons He wants us to put our heads down & work at something specific to fulfill His plan.

I'm pretty sure, in the generation prior to mine, it was typically difficult to REST without feeling lazy or non-productive.  The other side of that though is the urge REST too much.  Obviously, there's a balance.  Just one more reason why we need to allow the Lord to order our steps daily.  Psalm 119:33 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Psa&c=119&t=NKJV#vrsn/133)

Listen to Him.  He'll let you know when to rest, when to be productive.  The key is to LISTEN & OBEY... and don't forget to rest!