Seasons of Life - Stretching, Learning & Growing

I'm in the season of my life when I get to accompany a parent to health care visits. And, yesterday was one of those days. However, said "parent" is in a season of life where she does not want to listen to a thing I say - ha ha! The day was a little challenging... in that way. However, I would not have missed the time with my loved one. 

We laughed, talked, and reminisced. We enjoyed a leisurely lunch at an old mom & pops restaurant located in a 100+ year old building which was former a bank. We strolled through a small shop along the main street of that town & talked about fashion trends these days. I shared pics on my phone of our son's recent engagement at the State Park where we'd taken her & Dad on his last Christmas. We looked at pics of my g'daughter -- HER GREAT g'daughter -- and the adventures of hiking, playing & meeting Peg + Cat and Bob the Builder at a recent costume party.

PAIRINGS - A Dichotomy Within

I'm a mess. I'm imperfect (a lot of imperfect to be honest). I desire so many things. I attain few. I'm a piece of work... a work in progress.

This morning these scriptures came to mind...

"I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart." Psalm 40:8

"I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway." Romans 7:19 NLT

I took this picture on a day
when the winds carried the snow
across our property -
blocking our view entirely at one point!

I am a dichotomy! 

dichotomy - a division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: e.g.a dichotomy between thought and action

But, I am seeking to grow closer to what I was created to be :)

This was also my #JoyDare No. 2474. the struggle within - dichotomy

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

My Perfectly Formed Arms - #JoyDare No. 2363

One of the hardest things to do is to put a baby in a crib once you've rocked them to sleep! And, isn't it awesome how they always fit perfectly in your arms -- from the day they were born to the days they begin toddling all over your house and beyond :) It's almost like God made our arms specifically for holding & hugging!

It's 12:09pm and, I'm unable to move. I'm rocking a sleeping baby. I haven't dressed yet. My hair hasn't been brushed and make-up isn't on. The bed's unmade & the kitchen still needs to be cleaned up. A load of wet laundry waits to be put in the dryer. Confetti litters the great room floor from the surprise gifts which were received & unwrapped gleefully yesterday by this little sleeping angel & her mommy. There are numerous items on the To Do List which can only be accomplished in the time she sleeps. But, I am unable to move... just now. I'm breathing in this moment & thanking God with a full heart. 

I'm holding this sleeping child & recording the many thoughts that are pouring out of me in these moments. I'm "typing" as fast as I can on an open page of this blog application on my smart phone. Note: Typing here means using my right thumb only!! Playing softly today in the background is Chris Botti's CD "Italia". The song right now -- "Ave Maria" -- no words, just the music. The books we read minutes ago are laid beside us on the floor. The drapes have been drawn to darken the room so that she can sleep more easily. And, in this moment, all is well. 

I hear her soft breathing and match mine with hers - long, deep, peaceful breaths. The hand-me-down gliding rocker (which matches not ONE thing in my house) has begun to creak loudly indicating that it's time to shift my weight or jiggle around so the squeaking doesn't get any louder. With one fist, she's clutching a blanket given to her by one of my dear, dear friends. Today, as she was nearing sleep, she tucked her other little chubby hand inside the neck of my fleece robe. I take joy in the feel of her soft fingers now warm against my skin. What a blessing to have her reach up & stroke my face with her velvet palm as she draws near sleep or to have her tuck a hand inside my collar to touch my skin. 

This baby sleeps in peace now - without a care in the world. She's loved. She's cared for. She's protected. All is well!

But, what can I do to shield her from pain, suffering, injustice & evil which is a part of our life here? She'll likely grow to be a normal young woman - struggling with peer pressure & self-image. Despite our many efforts to teach her that her value & worth are based completely upon the fact that she's a creation of God... she'll question. She'll likely be uncertain in times but still determined to show her independence and right to make her own choices. She'll likely experience loss and heartache in her life. What can I do to keep her from these things? I can do no more than I did with her Mommy and her uncle - whom I rocked to sleep all those years ago. And, I pray over her as I did over them when they were babes. 

So, for this moment today... I'll just stay here and rock this child... I'll put off the To Do List a little longer... I'll whisper prayers over her as she sleeps... I'll gently stroke her face as she rustles... I'll ask God that she will see Him & His perfect love in me! 

And I'll thank God for how perfectly He formed my arms... all of our arms... to love!

David said it best in the 139th Psalm:

You go before me and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on my head. (vs. 5)

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too great for me to understand! (vs. 6)

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb. (vs 13) 

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. (vs. 14)

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They cannot be numbered! (vs. 17)

I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up,

you are still with me! (vs. 18)

NOTE: Due to a small book club group for women started in 2012 by a friend at my church, I actually picked up & read Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, in early 2012. I began listing gifts then & am planning to continue for years to come. It's a WONDERFUL way to remind myself of God's tender loving care for & faithfulness to me -- and to all his children! I've always been one to get super excited about the little things from God - seeing a mother deer & her fawns while out walking early in the morning, the way the clouds look on a cold -- but sunny -- winter day, the lighting or angle I was able to catch in a photo, the quiet snoring/breathing of the LOML as he sleeps beside me, new fuzzy socks or slippers, an apple right off my tree, etc. Often times my descriptions make no sense to anyone by me & God. So, I decided to expand upon those thoughts in a few posts. So... for today... 

#JoyDare No. 2363. my perfectly formed arms

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

HOPE, Life Can Be a Struggle 10-29-13

If I was asked to sit down & list the times that God has been faithful to me - through protection, by giving me a peace beyond understanding, while walking through the illness or death of a loved one... through a lot of things - I could probably come up with 25-30 examples in no time. Yet, when I'm in the middle of a struggle, I question once again, "Why is this so hard? Why is life such a struggle?"

It seems that it's no time from when one task or challenge is met until another rears its ugly head. My depression & anxiety issues don't make it any easier. And, then there's those feelings of inadequacy I fight from childhood & youth days. It feels like a lot of energy has to be exerted to move through almost every day. It takes hard work & trusting in God to manage many things that life throws in our path! What inspires me to do it?? Hope in my Lord!

This is why we work hard and continue to struggle (suffer in some translations), for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers. 1 Timothy 4:10

My identity is in CHRIST
& His Word promises strength for the day. 

Life can be a struggle.  But, with God, I allow HIM to fight the battle. I thank God that I am able to wake up each morning with a sense of hope, renewal & strength for life's struggles and for life's JOYS!

Linking October 2013 with The Nesting Place

 for the 31-day Challenge

HOPE, Being Changed 10-16-13

What's your first gut reaction to the following question:

Do you like change or do you dislike change?

My first response would probably be that I dislike change. I feel better when I am comfortable with things -- after I've had some time to get familiar with how things are. Just the word "change" can bring up all sorts of thoughts of uncertainty. The idea of change has sent me into panic mode on more than one occasion.

But, as we all know, there's really no way to avoid change. If we refuse to move, things continue to move around us. And, before we know it, we are changed by it all. Change can be good and, it can be bad. I wrote a blog post several years ago which I've yet to publish. The title is "I Am Forever Changed!" Something had happened in my life that shook me to the core. I didn't know how I would go on with that change. Writing about it that day was the beginning of the process to pick up & move forward.  

I love this quote: 

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I do not have to be reduced by it." ~ Maya Angelou

Regardless of my desires... daily, I'm being changed. The question is whether I am being changed for the better or otherwise! I think we all have the choice to allow changes to mold us - instead of break us. We can learn from changes in our lives to become better. We can choose to make changes in our lives to help us become better. 

I don't want to be reduced by change in my life... I want to be made better! I want to say honestly to the Lord... not my will but Thine be done... as I am being changed!

His promises...

"We are assured and know that all things work together and are fitting into a plan for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose." Romans 8:28

Linking this month with The Nesting Place

 for the 31-day Challenge

Crazy Battles! 31 DAYS OF CRAZY - 29 October 2012

"Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~ Plato

A friend of mine uses the above quote at the conclusion of each her personal email notes.  If one were to look at this woman as she works & serves in our community, her life would almost look perfect. She's graceful, articulate, beautiful, smart, strong, influential, and much more!  And, while she totally has ALL of those qualities, she is fighting her own battle. She has a few friends who are supporting her through this time.  But, for the most part... she fights the battle in silence.

I'm on a journey now due to someone else's choices. It's a journey that I would never have guessed would happen and a journey that I would never have chosen. But, it is the road I must travel. My choices are to either face the battle & live it with grace & dignity OR to run & hide from the battle.   

Some battles are played out on the public arena.  Some battles are fought in quiet solitude. It's easy to look at what we are fighting and assume that almost everyone else is smoothly sailing along. In fact, most of those around us are fighting battles of one type or another.

Where ever we are in our journey, we have the opportunity to lighten the load of another with a simple kindness...

... a smile & kind word 

... a card or note to say thanks or "I'm thinking of you!" 

... a hug or hand shake 

... a flower pulled out of your garden

When we focus on others, even if only for a brief moment, we can't be focusing (and dwelling) on our problems.  They are blessed.  We are blessed in turn. 

And, don't forget to grab some strength for the battles from the simple joys that surround you each day...

The beginning of a new day.

The architecture of a tree.

Fond memories of favorite times & places.

The rustle of leaves or corn in a field.

The colors of a sunset

A picture of a little one.

A silly cartoon.

Simple joys & simple acts of kindness are anything but simple when fighting a battle. And, never forget the One who is waiting &willing to fight your battles.

His Words: 

(got this idea from Chase Tibbs' blog; using it because i love the words of God)

• "This is what the LORD of Heaven's Armies says: Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another." Zechariah 7:9
• "... the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles... " 2 Chronicles 32:8
• "Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart." Proverbs 3:3
• "You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the LORD, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!' Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the LORD is with you."  2 Chronicles 20:17
• "The name of the LORD is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe." Proverbs 18:10

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today... 

Go check out over 1200 topics
in the 31 days {of change} with...

He Can't Derail the Plan!




Thanks to T. Getz for capturing this photo 
& adding the scripture!

If you know anything or hear anything about "being a Christian", you will most likely have heard 1 Thessalonians 5:18. 

 One translation reads, "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

For ME, when things explode in my life & the walls start crashing around me, I often find myself sulking in a corner feeling like the last part of that verse is a curse on me. But my God, who sees all things & knows all things, knows what I will encounter along the way is often allowing me to go through tough times to better prepare me for what will happen in the future. God doesn't let the road blocks that Satan throws in front of us derail His great plans! Satan wants to pull our eyes away from God. I believe that he tries to do this through hardship & tough life circumstances. However, if we keep our eyes on God in the tough times:

• we learn valuable lessons, 
• we grow stronger with the struggle, 
• we open our eyes to the suffering of others around us, 
• we soften our hearts to what God wants us to see, 

and so many more things!

And another cool thing... usually down the road God gives us a glimpse of how the tough times served to draw us closer to Him & bring honor and glory to Him.

I've been in a rough patch for some time now. I can't lie & say that it's easy to stay focused on God. But, in all sincerity, I couldn't make it without Him. He has never let any of His children down. He is faithful to save. God doesn't waste a single moment of our lives.

I encourage you (and remind myself) to learn from life's experiences while GIVING THANKS for how God will use them!

Shared with the Ann Voskamp One Thousand Gifts community on 11/12/12: 

What EVER You Do...

photo courtesy T. Getz

(originally posted 10-02-09; re-published 07-23-15)
During a recent small group meeting, we were talking about how God gives us what we ask for in His name. We talked about how we each have to get down to what we consider the "bottom line" and ask ourselves what we want most though, before asking God for something.

The tough reply to that question (and my reply I've given to God in this "crazy, scary season" of life) is to desire to bring glory and honor to God -- whatever happens! 

I love this excerpt from the book, Practicing His Presence, by Charlie Riggs: