I am... KNOWN

Writing prompt for Tuesday at Ten (week of 3/1 - 3/7/16) is "I am..."

This post is based upon my #JoyDare No. 4400 from February 14th of 2016.

The LOML & I have been friends for nearly

WHEN... When You're NOT So Lovable...

Linking up with the Tuesday at Ten Writing group for the week of Feb 9-15... The writing prompt... WHEN

Have you gotten to the age yet where you look back at yourself in your younger days & wonder, "Why did anyone love me? I was not very lovable back then!" Honestly, there were times when I tried not to be lovable. I wanted to distance myself from others and feed the voice inside that said I was unworthy of love.

Part of youth and part of maturing involves making a lot of mistakes... some by omission and some by co-mission. While we are making those mistakes and poor choices, we are watching others around us make their own. The trick is to

sunrise thoughts 21 October 2015

Killer sunrise this morning in the land of "stuckinindiana" and I'm snapping away when I get that dreaded notice... MEMORY CARD FULL.

Seriously?!?!? This is not good timing!

The Grass Is Greener...

My husband is used to me blurting out, "Please pull over so I can get a picture of that sunset!!" He's had to live with me & my obsession for photography (of sunsets, sunrises and much, much more) for many years now. Tonight was no exception. As we were headed to the Open House at our g-daughter's day care center, the sun was setting. And, I was smitten. The clouds seemed to make a trail to the west - beckoning me to follow. 

I've wanted to float away from my responsibilities & my reality with the clouds on many occasions. I've wanted to catch hold of a jet trail & take it to distant places. I've watched people getting on planes & day-dreamed about where they were going & if I'd like it there.

How To Be Cool At Any Age

It doesn't seem to matter the age. Most of my life I've spent trying to be cool - at least a little cool & not peculiarly old fashioned. I've wrestled with wanting to be on the egde, out of the box & open minded. In doing so, however, I've often sacrificed being ME. About the time I begin not worrying about being cool, it occurs to me that the days I've lived far outweigh the days I'll be alive. And, I wonder, have I attempted to be cool & failed to show the real me to those around me? 

Here are some thoughts I had earlier today when I saw an article written (by a man) about 50 Shades of Gray:

I quickly read his 4 points and had the following thoughts...

• When we feel like we're seen as being young, we really want to make our own decisions. We're tempted to push the boundaries & go against the "rules" to be cool. 
• When we're feeling not so young anymore (and questioning whether we are seen as old), we want to be seen as young & daring again. We tend to "embrace" controversial thoughts or things that "as we grew up & matured" we would not have supported. 

I think one of the hardest things about life - in all of its stages - is to remain true to our convictions, conscience & values by resisting the desire to do things in order to fit in or seem cool. I realize that's easier said than done. But, I'm challenging myself to do so with more consistency. We only get one shot at this life. Why not let people see who we really are & not be easily swayed by pressures around us.

"To thine own self be true." ~ William Shakespeare

Those old writers & philosophers hit the nail on the head so many times. Didn't they!?!

Crazy About Friends! - 31 DAYS OF CRAZY - 21 October 2012

"It is one of the blessings of old* friends

that you can afford to be stupid with them." 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love my friends... one could say I am CRAZY about my friends. And, I feel comfortable enough to be stupid with them.  They are a diverse group. Yet, each encourages me to become a better me daily while helping me feel that I'm still okay :)  It's always a nice thing to feel like you are not a lost cause!  My friends are GOOD FRIENDS... and, they keep me sane :)  

Choose your friends by their character & your socks by their color.

What goes in to being a GOOD FRIEND?

• The same age or socio-economic status?
• Liking the same kind of music & same TV shows?
• Sharing the same religion, education, beliefs, goals?
• Registered to vote with the same political party & not one of the others??  

For me, none of the above is a requirement for being a good friend.  For me, the following are what goes in to being a GOOD FRIEND:

• Common values - law-abiding, caring & supporting those less fortunate
• Treating others with respect - even when there are differences in opinions
• Honest feed back versus telling me what I might want to hear

I love diversity in friends. And, I love what can be learned from friends whose experiences are different than mine.  I am so thankful that I am surrounded by a great group of supportive friends.

My mom used to tell me when I was young, "To have a friend, you must be a friend."  That's good advice. I'm crazy about friends & want to be a better friend!

"It is one of the blessings of old* friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

* I would replace the word old with good.  Other than that, as I said on Twitter tonight... "I resemble that quote."  As evidence in the picture to the left!

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My Darkest Days

My darkest days were those when I hid behind my shame.

I fled from community & into the arms of solitude.

I reasoned that I was alone in my struggle... that it was a struggle of the unworthy, of the weak, of the lost.

In those darkest of days I sought to be healed but, refused any human help!

I believed in God's power of healing but... I would only accept His complete healing... on my own terms.

He would have to heal me quietly -- without the knowledge or involvement of others.

They say that when something hurts you enough... that then, and only then, will you truly change.

When the struggle's worn you down for countless hours, weeks, months, years... how can strength to begin such a change be found? And, what's the source of that kind of strength?

The strongest chord of a strand is the deepest one. When all the others unravel, the strongest remains. The chord that ties us to the eternal. The chord that binds us to the source of of all strength.

Light began to dawn the moment I stepped out from behind my shame & said,

• "God, I will accept Your healing on Your terms."

• "I will allow others to see my wounds."

• "I will no longer define what is unworthy, weak, lost..."

• "I will trust in the chord at the center of my being that can never be severed by this world or the powers below."

I cling tenaciously and with complete hope & acceptance of this promise...

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." 

Philippians 1:6

When Will I Be Loved?

Do you remember crawling up on the lap of a loving grandparent or parent as a small child & knowing that you were completely safe?  In the trials of life, do you ever feel like you'd like to be that little kid again?  I know that I have those moments.  

Photo by T. Getz

There's a song I could NOT get out of my head one of my sleepless nights earlier this week.  It was written by George Mathesen in 1882 and entitled, "O Love That Will Not Let Me Go."  Some of my favorite lyrics from that are below:

O love that will not me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee. I give Thee back the life I owe. That in Thine ocean's depths it's flow may richer, fuller be.  

Oh joy that seeketh me through pain, I cannot close my heart to Thee. I trace the rainbow through the rain. And feel the promise is not vain - that morn shall tearless be.

I'm so blessed to be one of God's children and to be a recipient of His love that will not let me go & His joy that seeketh me in pain. The Bible says that God loves us like his own children. God's love is complete & unconditional & perfect.  What a privilege!

• How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1a
• The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-- heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.  Romans 8:16-17
• If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11

How wonderful to know that no matter how young we are OR how old we get, we can still crawl into the arms of the Father & rest in safety and peace.  His love - that is without condition - will never let us go.

I am loved!