sunrise thoughts 02 October 2015

I was so proud of myself... all dressed and ready for my morning walkabout & not even too close to the time of sunrise... 7:39am. I'd woken up much earlier feeling as though I'd not gotten rested at all. And, I'd woken with the knowledge that the coming few days were going to be fast & furious with activities. 

And, what did I find as I walked out?? There WAS no sunrise!

Chapter 13718

After beginning about 25 different projects, I just sat down to rest a moment & updated my Facebook status...

I'm tearing up my house today... and hoping to put it back together sometime soon :)

My mind's FULL of thoughts today. We've had a bumpy week to say the least. And... I'm just plain worn out. That never helps my attitude. But, I'm hanging in there & looking beyond myself for strength, provision, guidance, and much, much more! 

In times like these I tend to be anti-social. I love my newer home (yep, still praying that the other one sells SOON). I love looking out into fields here that go for miles and miles, walking along pastures of bleating goats as they run toward me hoping for a handful of clover, eating more than I should of the cherry tomatoes on the way back from harvesting in our garden, hearing bird songs in preparation of the sun's rising and as the night approaches... should I go on? Yet, I continue to struggle not to be anti-social -- with going to church on Sundays being about the only time I want to show my face in public! 

The LOML (love of my life aka husband) & I are entering a new chapter in our lives as we welcome one of our adult children & a sweet, little baby into our home for a season. In about 4 weeks our other "young adult child" will return to Ohio to begin his junior year of college. And well, we won't be EMPTY NESTING it this fall. The four of us will be inconvenienced to some extent with these changes. As for me, those inconveniences will be faced with the belief that this is a VERY GOOD thing in all of our lives. It's a new chapter with great possibilities. For now, there's plenty of housework to make things work in this house as we add two more loved ones to our home. Certain projects that weren't at all crucial (like cleaning out the guest room) have become important as we "re-work" things around here.

So for today, I'm tearing up things... so that things can be made new :)

HIS WORDS:

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

Linking with Ann Voskamp at One Thousand Gifts

Whether this Weather... or something like that!

Whether this weather affects our attitude or not, we can't change it :/ A few weeks ago I was commenting on our spring-like weather for the middle of February. Now I am tempted to complain about the winter storm which is laying a blanket of white on everything, as I write this note, on the 5th of March. Doesn't March mean spring?? 

I work part time for NorthKids and, as the parents came in to pick up their children today, the number one topic was WEATHER! Both of Madison Park Church's child care facilities (NorthKids & Kids Learning Center) announce any delays or closures via the radio on WQME 98.7 and via television onWISH-TV Channel 8. I'm kind of hoping for a closure tomorrow. The snow is coating everything & my drive-time home tonight was more than doubled due to slippery roads!

I'm about DONE with snow... but, snow might not be done with me quite yet. Often the only way for me to make it through a "bad" situation is to change my attitude. Voltaire said, 

"Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her; but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game."

I believe that I can "win the game" only when I turn things over to God... whether or not things are going just as I think they should go! As His Word says,

"Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve." Joshua 24:15a

No matter what you are experiencing, stay warm & safe. Put your complete trust in Him!!

Crazy Bad Attitude! - 31 DAYS OF CRAZY - 24 October 2012

I have a crazy bad attitude right now! The day was fantastic up until just a few minutes ago.  And, I only have one person to blame for it! I could feel the "ugly" taking over my disposition as I heard the all too familiar CHIPPER, upbeat, excited voice on the other end of the phone closing her conversation with:

"And, what are you making your man for his dinner tonight?"  

Oh, if you could ONLY hear the excitement in that voice.  Oh, if you could only see the darkness take over my countenance.  Yep, there's only ONE person responsible for this change in disposition... and, it's ME!

I sure hope the spaghetti sauce doesn't
splash up on my Grandmother's
pearl necklace!

You see, the two of us are from different generations -- and that actually feels like different worlds to me most of the time. 

When I got married, I was working 55-60 hours per week & ended up being the bread winner for the first 6-7 years of our marriage.  When she got married, she was the stay-at-home wife & homemaker.  

I continued to work full time until our older child entered 1st grade & part-time until our younger child entered grade school.  She stayed at home full-time... picking & canning vegetables, sewing clothes for the family, painting... you know, giving her ALL to make a house a home.  

And today, I have a husband (whom I call the Love of My LIfe - LOML) coming home to me each night from work.  She, on the other hand, welcomes no one home.  She's grieved the absence of her love for too many years now.  She depends on neighbors & church members to help with the things around the house & property which my husband does for me on the weekends.  

I close my eyes at night & listen to the breathing (and, perhaps snoring) of my beloved.  She checks all the door locks once again, turns the heat down to the lowest possible setting, and quietly climbs alone into her queen sized bed.  There's no snoring beside her... but, I know she longs for the day when there was & for the person for whom she found great joy in making a special meal each night for dinner.

For a moment, I forget her loss & I forget my many blessings... and I manage to justify my bad attitude.  I bristle up & bite my tongue.  For years, I tried to convince myself that she was giving me this negative attitude.  When, in fact, it was only caused by one person... by me.

Oh Lord, help me to look beyond myself to the heart of others.  If I error on the interpretation of another's intent of their words or actions, let me error on their behalf.  Daily remind me of the grace that you have extended to me and that I should extend to others.  Life is too short to waste time on bad attitudes!  The blessings come in the moments.  And, moments should not be wasted on bad attitudes!

His Words: 

(got this idea from Chase Tibbs' blog; using it because i love the words of God)

• "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24
• "Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things... " Psalm 119:18
• "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." Philippians 2:4-5
• "You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate." Luke 6:36

Over 1200 topics 2012
in the 31 days {of change} with...

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...

My Darkest Days

My darkest days were those when I hid behind my shame.

I fled from community & into the arms of solitude.

I reasoned that I was alone in my struggle... that it was a struggle of the unworthy, of the weak, of the lost.

In those darkest of days I sought to be healed but, refused any human help!

I believed in God's power of healing but... I would only accept His complete healing... on my own terms.

He would have to heal me quietly -- without the knowledge or involvement of others.

They say that when something hurts you enough... that then, and only then, will you truly change.

When the struggle's worn you down for countless hours, weeks, months, years... how can strength to begin such a change be found? And, what's the source of that kind of strength?

The strongest chord of a strand is the deepest one. When all the others unravel, the strongest remains. The chord that ties us to the eternal. The chord that binds us to the source of of all strength.

Light began to dawn the moment I stepped out from behind my shame & said,

• "God, I will accept Your healing on Your terms."

• "I will allow others to see my wounds."

• "I will no longer define what is unworthy, weak, lost..."

• "I will trust in the chord at the center of my being that can never be severed by this world or the powers below."

I cling tenaciously and with complete hope & acceptance of this promise...

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." 

Philippians 1:6

Attitude Equals Altitude...

photo courtesy of T. Getz

Today a friend posted the following statement: "I am working on FAMILY curricula about attitude - Why does attitude equal altitude? Thoughts?"

Well... just yesterday at a wellness activity that's sponsored through my local church, we were talking about attitude equaling altitude. What we're going through in life is much less important than how we're looking at what we're going through.   

The first step of being defeated is allowing yourself to FEEL defeated. A positive attitude can make all the difference in how you feel about anything that you endure.

At this time in my life, it's nearly impossible for me to look at these things from any other perspective than that of a Christ-follower. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God & that He came to earth and paid for my sins (for all of His children's sins) with the shedding of His blood. I believe in the promises found in the Bible and, I CLAIM those, even when it feels impossible. Some of those promises are:

• "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand." John 10:27-28
• "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." II Chronicles 16:9
• "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." II Corinthians 12:9-10
• "Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us, and He will deliver us." Daniel 3:17
• " I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand... For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:9-10, 13

I could go on & on citing promises that are found in the Word. But, I also recall attitude equaling altitude before I came to know Jesus as my Savior & Lord. I remember as a child when I was made fun of for being super skinny & gangly that it was always easier if I "made light" of it instead of taking it personally. When I refused to let hurtful words or ways become a part of me, I was stronger... happier... healthier. I was always better off when I did not let the circumstances of life determine my attitude toward life.

There's a passage in the New Testament of the Bible that's always reminded me to "look at my attitude" in tough situations. It reminds me that the hard times make us stronger and better equipped to endure other tough times that are SURE to happen to us, as well as better equipped to help others face similar hardships. That scripture passage is located in  

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything."

James 1:2-4 

Thanks friend for getting me thinking today about Attitude Equaling Altitude!

Attitude... I'm Working On It!

It's been a great week -- not so much a great day. I learned today that there's no visible healing (although no further injury) in my foot. I had a second x-ray done & have to wear the boot until the next x-ray in three weeks. 

I can't drive a car. I can't do step aerobics anymore. I can't even walk for exercise. I'm not thrilled but, I'm not devastated either. It could be SO MUCH worse. It's just gonna be a pain for a little longer than I had hoped. 

Several scriptures come to mind & I'm reminded that this life on earth is going to be a challenge. 

Christ spoke in John 16:33, "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." 

So, what do we DO about those trials & sorrows? I look further into the Bible. 

We're told in Matthew 6:34, "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

That second verse might seem to have a negative connotation to it. But, the way I look at it is that there's no need to fret about tomorrow, worrying will NOT change things. Sometimes we need all our energy for just what's thrown at us today! So, I attempt to deal with today's challenges with God's help and claim His help for whatever tomorrow throws at me! It's all I can do. 

Okay "stuckinindiana"... breathe in & out; ask God for a positive attitude about the foot & a few others things! I'm standing on the promises -- and leaning heavily upon His Word!

My attitude... I'm working on it!

A human being can alter their life
by altering their attitude.
~ William James