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Do you ever feel STUCK? In 2000, I began looking for answers to some tough questions in my life. I'd searched high & low and finally conceded to search the promises found in the Bible. Those promises have sustained & guided me through the loss of a parent, the struggle with anxiety & depression, the loss of a valued relationship and so much more! I've found joy amid the pain. And, I want to share it with you!

04 October 2014

The Smallest Gestures...

Last month I was overwhelmed by a sense of sadness & bittersweet gratitude one evening when my mother was visiting from Fort Wayne. She announced that she was heading to bed in the guest room, stood up & walked over to me. As she leaned in, I kissed her on the cheek & said, "I love you, Mom."

I headed toward my room to prepare for bed. I thought about my father's passing nearly 12 years ago - October of 2002. Twelve years seems like a long time. Mom has not remarried. And, knowing her, most of her days probably feel pretty similar to when he first went to heaven.
She somewhat got her identity from him, what he was, what he did...

I thought about her living alone in the home she & Dad purchased when he retired from full-time ministry 16-17 years ago. I thought how it must feel to go to bed almost every night now without the embrace of a loved one or a kiss on the cheek or a word of love. How might it feel to wake in the middle of the night to a silent home and a cold bed? I tried to think how that would be. It was pretty hard to think about.

In the beginning of 2012, I read Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, and accepted her JoyDare challenge. I list three blessings a day on a post in my "drafts folder" each month. I add pictures along the way, attempt to proof it & post when the month ends. That September night I was once again reminded... the smallest gestures we make might have the most profound affect on another person. This goes for positive, as well as negative, things. I hope my small kiss that night blessed her heart. I know it certainly had a profound affect upon mine.

The picture above is of my mom standing beside her home in Fort Wayne. My September #JoyDare No. 2934 was "kissing my mom goodnight"

For monthly posts of my #JoyDare list, search my blog for the label of #1000 Gifts.


Linked with the Nesting Place community through the write31days challenge, October 2014 - post No 4.

5 comments:

  1. Bless your daughter's sensitive to her mothers heart! That sentence is probably horrible, but...your words and heart to your dear mom's circumstance are precious. I also read Ann's book in 2012 (January). Appreciating your writing and continuing to read...

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    1. Thank you Dawn :) I have not always been so understanding of my mom's circumstances. God is doing a work in me! So fun that we read One Thousand Gifts at the same time in 2012 :) Keeping track of those gifts has been such a blessing! Have a wonderful day!

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  2. That book is definitely on my "to-read" list!

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  3. This is so beautiful and sensitive of you to notice. Several years ago a close friend of mine lost her husband in their 30's. She's been a widow for nearly 20 years now and the sense of being physically touched by another person is a very big deal to her now. The rest of take it for granted so often don't we? Susie

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    1. Thanks Susie... for stopping by & for the comment. I think it's SO EASY to take many blessings for granted. I pray that God pricks my heart from time to time. I can get pretty absorbed in what's going on in my little world.

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