Just a glimpse of me...

My photo
Do you ever feel STUCK? In 2000, I began looking for answers to some tough questions in my life. I'd searched high & low and finally conceded to search the promises found in the Bible. Those promises have sustained & guided me through the loss of a parent, the struggle with anxiety & depression, the loss of a valued relationship and so much more! I've found joy amid the pain. And, I want to share it with you!

24 October 2014

Cancer + Coincidences = Peaceful Sleep

Can you tell how USED
this book is :)
I'd lost count of the nights trying to sleep on a chair in the waiting room or in the guest room at my parents house during my dad's battle with cancer that year. The unexpected hospital stays were happening more frequently & reminded me of the two months I'd spent in the hospital during my second pregnancy. Both times, when I was there & when my father was there, a constant parade of nurses, doctors, interns & staff members filled the days & nights with their visits. There always seemed to be many more questions than answers. Was I ever glad about my zeal for medical knowledge all those years ago in my high school & college days. That made it a little easier to understand their "medical jargon".

One night at the hospital, Dad took a turn for the worse
& was rushed from his regular room into ICU. My mom called for me to come along with her. His skin was a color of gray that I'd never seen. His face was without expression. His 6' 4" body seemed to have shrunk to that of a feeble old person. The chemotherapy in the past few months had fought it's battle with the cancer... and with Dad's body. 

I didn't really know how I'd react in such a moment. This wasn't the miraculous healing I was looking for. This wasn't the peaceful transition that I knew was a possibility. My mother's eyes conveyed a depth of fear I'd never seen before. My father's eyes conveyed no feeling at all. Mom left the room to talk with a few doctors - a whole new set of care-givers occupied the ICU. I asked Dad if I could sing to him or recite some favorite scriptures. He quietly nodded and, I reached deep down inside to find a strength I didn't think I had.

I sang a few songs that I knew he loved. And, then a beloved scripture came to mind. I drew closer to him & whispered the words slowly in his ears...
I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalms 4:8 NKJV
I sat there by his side alone for the next few hours. Around 4am, his color had returned to normal (pale... but, not that eerie gray). The nurses told me that his vitals had improved & almost returned to normal. Dad was sleeping peacefully. So, I made my way to a chair in the lounge for a bit of rest myself. I said to myself, "You are WAY too tired to read the Daily Light scriptures tonight! It's been a rough, long day! You can catch up tomorrow." But, my inner voice said to at least skim it. I opened my Daily Light directly to this page...


What reassurance that God was walking with us in every moment and at every turn of that journey as my father battled for his life.  I am thankful that God was with all of us as Dad transitioned that October to his new home.

Linked with the Nesting Place community through the write31days challenge, October 2014 - post No 24.



2 comments:

  1. Thankful that God gave you the strength and words to minister to your dad. Its so hard to watch our parents struggle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Melissa. It was truly a GOD moment and journey!!

      Delete