Remembrances - Friends Gone By

The other morning, as we were driving to church, I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of a dear friend who'd given me a CD in the final weeks of my father's struggle with cancer. And, I thought, "I'd give her the biggest hug if she was here." 

Then I thought of another friend who used to be like a sister to me -- walking beside me through that same journey of my dad's illness & death. But, in the past few years it's seemed as if she's dropped off the radar to me. I know she's still around. I see her posts on other people's Facebook pages. And I thought about that friend, "I'd give her the biggest hug if she was here." 

A third friend crossed my mind -- a friend who went through a bit of a public scandal due to some of her choices. Regardless of her seeing the error of her ways, she still faced looks of judgement from ones, whom I felt, shouldn't be judging... rather, loving & forgiving. And, I wanted so badly to hug her neck right then & assure her that I loved her regardless of her choices. 

A few more friends came to mind. One I'd traveled along a journey of pain in her life and tried to bring comfort & support. She's no longer in touch and, I miss her. Another was a dear friend from many years ago. She'd been living a secret... living a life-style which was contradictory to her core values. I often wonder if, since I'd known of her little secret, she'd chosen to distance herself from me & others who knew of that time in her life?

I've asked myself many questions. Why are these friends gone from my life? Is it because of something I said or didn't say? Were they only friends for the support they desired at a certain time of their lives? Was I not a good enough friend? Did I do something that caused a rift in the friendship? I've asked myself these questions over & over. But, a little voice inside me said that day on the drive to church: 

"Celebrate every friendship whether they last through the years or last for only a season."

I consider myself to be like an old hound-dog... a faithful friend. Once someone gets in my heart, they seem to hold a place there :) Today, I am remembering friends gone by... and wondering why... but, thanking God for those friends in my life!

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...