Worrying, Waiting, Watching... Believing!

Began this post on 9-6-12...

I'm trying not to worry about tomorrow. I'm doing all I can do -- as far as planning. But, there are so many possible scenarios of what could happen. How do I possibly plan for each outcome?

And, worry is something I saw too much of as a child. I don't want to analyze every possibility and then stress over what the best options. I want to constantly focus on the "what is" rather than the "what if".

I believe God can bring GOOD from any situation. I continue to pray for that. I truly believe God will bring good from this situation. But, as we all know, God's timing often isn't our timing.

How long do we have to wait to see the good. I believe I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. I wonder, does "land of the living" mean a.) our mortal lives here on earth? or b.) our eternal lives with Christ in heaven? Regardless... I believe I will see the goodness of the LORD. 

How about you? I'm walking a tight rope these days. I have to keep my arms wide open just to keep my balance. I can't glance down but, must look straight ahead. The end is in sight -- but, oh so far away! But, with arms wide open & eyes focused ahead and above, we can all be perfectly situated for greatness in our lives! It's a promise given from our Heavenly Father!

And... talk about sleeping when you're walking a tight rope... that's not easy. The trust in someONE & something supernatural will keep you from plunging to the rocks below. You can be quieted by God's love!

Regardless of what we face daily... there is help & hope. Hang in there friends! All will be well!

At a Loss for Words...

I'm finding myself at a loss for words... and the funny thing is... it's okay...

Finding myself in the midst of Him, beyond the music - beyond the noise

Word of God speak; pour down like rain; washing my eyes to see Your majesty

Be still and know that You're in this place...

Please let me stay at rest in Your holiness...

All that I need is to be with You and in the quiet to hear Your voice...

Word of God speak; pour down like rain; washing my eyes to see Your majesty

Be still and know that You're in this place...

Please let me stay at rest in Your holiness...

I'm finding myself at a loss for words... and the funny thing is... it's okay!

question ... Five Minute Friday 6-21-19

Five Minute Friday, 21 June 2019
The word: question      

For the past 18 months, I've been battling a huge question... "Where were you in all of this God... when things started to unravel."

For the first time that I can remember in my adult life, I've been thrown by a situation which occurred that was in direct violation with what I felt was the Lord's will. I did everything humanly & spiritually possible to make sure that I felt the Lord's hand upon this situation since mid 2012. And... I had a total peace about what was happening & what I felt was God's will to happen. 

But then... in late 2017, it began to unravel. The process was pretty fast... but, felt like it stopped time. During that time, I continued to pray for the will of the Lord - feeling & believing that I knew what that was. But, when all was said & done... things didn't work out as I had hoped, prayed, desired...

"Where were you in all of this God..."

Though my world was shaken... and continues to feel unsteady, I am not giving up on the faithfulness of the Lord. I am trusting that He sees down the road and that He is at work in all of this.

BONUS: A great video from Mercy Me and exactly how I have felt...

Word of God Speak

Love the quote below and have shared it several times over on the "When You're STUCKinindiana Facebook page".

God is always present, always at work, so there are no God-forsaken situations, only situations that have been forsaken by His followers. God is answering our question with another one,

"I’m right here; where are you?'” ~ Mark DeVries  #quotes

#FiveMinuteFriday

Worst Year Ever!!!!!

Have you ever looked back on a long period of time (12 months or more) and said to yourself.... That was the WORST YEAR EVER! Have you ever been so very certain of something to only watch it implode in front of you? Have you cried out to God and earnestly pleaded for what you felt deeply was His will - something of which you believed to be His will all along. Have you cried out to Jesus... for Him to restore what was broken... for Him to show up mightily on behalf of hurting loved ones... for Him to soften hardened hearts & heal injured souls?

I was brought up in a "Christian" home. And, by that I mean... a family who walked the talk... a preacher's family where a daily, personal relationship with the Trinity (Father, Son & Holy Spirit) was taught and lived out. The choice for me to be a "believer" was more so for my family in my younger years. But over time, I came to understand, choose and grow into my very own personal relationship with Christ. 

Over the years I've experienced a peace that passes understanding through my faith (Philippians 4:7)... in times of death, disappointment, illness, hurt, loss of relationship, rejection, fear, and more. 

          * I walked the road of cancer with my father believing fully that at any moment God would heal Dad's earthly body and feeling the perfect will of God as I sat by my dad and heard his body let out it's last breath. It was a very hard year. But, in the end, my heart knew that what had happened was in God's perfect timing. 

          * I was lied to and betrayed by a person that I felt would always be a huge part of my life. It was years before I saw what a blessing that rejection had actually been for me & my future. 

          * I've lain awake many a night wondering about the safety of a dear, loved one. I've cried countless tears over the choices and their consequences from decisions made contrary to what I would have suggested. I've felt bullied, badgered & belittled for my feelings & faith in many of those times. I'm still waiting for some of those things to be resolved. But, I believe that they will.

          * And, I could go on...

My story probably isn't any different than most others. However, I've had the peace and assurance that God was at work in all situations... working for the best --- our best! Often that peace has been painful. I'm still confused about how certain things turned out. I still wonder if some of my prayers are being sent up in accordance to His will or just to heal the pain I experience. Each day is a new beginning of trusting & believing that it will all be fine, in the end.

So, for those out there who have had similar thoughts to... Worst Day Ever... Worst Week Ever... Worst Month Ever... WORST YEAR EVER, know that you are not alone in those feelings. Be encouraged that sometimes things are falling into place when you are certain they are falling apart.

A scripture that I cling to is... 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬ http://bible.com/116/rom.8.28.nlt 

Some songs that have helped in times of struggle -- in the past year especially...

Alanna Story - I Won't Let Go

Casting Crowns - Oh My Soul 

Mercy Me - Even If 

Lauren Daigle - You Say 

Laura Story - Blessings

Hillsong United - So Will I 

Beware of ONLINE FRIENDS...

I met someone online a few years back. 

Isn't that a great beginning to a horror story!!!

This person is a woman - like me. And, we conversed pretty regularly for the next two and a half years. Through our conversations:

A Moment I Will Never Forget...

If YOU were asked to describe a moment that you would NEVER forget, WHAT WOULD IT BE? You know, never is a LONG time. I've had quite a few awesome "moments" in my life. But, of all the things that ever happened to me, I'd have to say that one Sunday... a few minutes after noon... as the sun broke through the clouds & warmed my back through the family room window... would be the moment.

It all began with a dream I had when I was 4 or 5.

A Kiss & A Goodbye

It seems like yesterday. It seems like forever... like a dream of something that happened long, long ago. It brings raw emotion. It brings an unexplainable calm & peace. It brings thanksgiving for the home in which I was raised & the beliefs that were lived out before me by my parents. On a Sunday (the day we had always marked as a celebration of our Lord) that October 20, 2002... at 12:10pm... my father breathed his last breath as I was sitting beside him, holding his hand. In that moment, grief & joy walked hand-in-hand... 

#JoyDare No. 2873. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

One of my least favorite sayings as a child was "Actions speak louder than words!" 

I feel as though I heard that statement no less than once a week for my entire childhood. I seem to remember it being said over & over to me -- after I had chosen to act or speak in a certain way. Perhaps I can put some blame on the fact that I was the middle child - after all, they are the problem child, right? Perhaps I just need to fully accept the blame :) I've been known for acting & speaking abruptly... often in a way that didn't mesh well with the person I portrayed myself as being.

There's a social media craze lately where people (famous & not) will respond to a challenge & then ask others to take the #ALSIceBucketChallenge to raise awareness of the progressive neurodegenerative disease of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). The challenge to is make a $100 donation to the ALS Association OR to have ice water dumped on your head. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. are full of pictures & videos of people accepting this challenge. Often the person will state that they are taking the ice bucket challenge AND making a donation. 

I'm strangely moved (as I'm suspecting many are) as I watch young & old take the challenge and pass it on to others. In hearing their words & seeing the images, I feel certain they are sincere in their passion for the eradication of this disease. I'm stirred into believing that each one will make a contribution to this research. In fact, aside from some personal friends & some famous people whose finances are public, I don't really know how many people actually follow through with their gifts and support.

It's said that "seeing is believing". But, some things are never really seen by mortal man. And, we all know that many unseen things are no less real than those which are seen. As a young person, I hated the saying which I chose today for one of my three JoyDares...

#JoyDare No. 2873. actions speak louder than words

As I've matured, I am really seeing how what we do carries so much more weight than what we SAY we do. Another trite statement, talk is cheap. Saying what we believe in means little compared to what people see us do to model our beliefs.

I took this photo in the Discovery Garden at Chautuaqua Institution on 8-2-14

I'm challenged today... and I challenge you today... to take note of what your actions are saying about your beliefs -- about the person you claim to be, desire to be, plan to be. If they don't line up perfectly, as mine don't always, take note & make changes.

"As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person." Proverbs 27:19

10 Days To 10 Days

ATTENTION: You... yes, YOU!

I posted this picture earlier today on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. The caption read:

ATTENTION: You... yes, YOU! 10 days to 10 days without a place to stay!!! If worse comes to worse, we found a room with a sink, a ceiling fan & a twin bed We are praying for a little miracle  Surely, there's an empty guest house or guest suite in this place! Keep those prayers & positive thoughts going!!!

I recently posted a plea for help about housing for the girls & I here inside Chautauqua Institution for our last 10 nights. Most of the places here on the inside are booked about a year in advance. My daughter didn't know she'd been accepted into the Visual Arts program until early May. Due to the special guest during that week, Ken Burns, Week 7 was pretty much sold out, as far as housing goes. We secured a place through Friday night, August 1st. However, we need to be here through the night of August 11th.

I continue to pray and ask God to part the Red Sea for us on this housing issue. We need to be ON THE INSIDE of Chautauqua -- not in Mayville or Jamestown. I know it sounds a bit mean, but... I really wish that the couple who booked our little apartment a year ahead for week 7 would decide not to come or to rent another place. I also wish that a resident who might have an empty guest suite or guest house for the week would be inclined to allow us to use it.

As I said on my social media note earlier today, I know of one place that has a room with a double bed, sink & ceiling fan available for that week. I have no idea if there's room to set up a Pack N Play though. This is certainly not ideal for our situation with an 18-month toddler. But, it's better than trying to live out of our car in the Main Parking Lot -- pretty sure that's against their Rules & Reg's :)

Today marks 10 days until we need a place to stay for 10 days. Whisper a prayer for us, if you would :) I am believing that God will provide for this need!

Help us, O God of our salvation!

Help us for the glory of your name.

Save us and forgive our sins

for the honor of your name.

Psalm 79:9

HOPE, Leading Horses To Water 10-25-13

Just a thought that's been rumbling through my mind, especially in the past years...

You've heard the saying, "You can lead a horse to water. But, you can't make it drink." 

Well, that saying preoccupied my thoughts often in the past few years -- as we faced some of the normal challenges of parenthood (and a few of the not-so-normal challenges). Let's just say that I'm putting my children in the place of the "horses." We tried to lead to water -- in our case, water would be the Living Water - the Lord. Recent bumps in the road of life caused me to question...

• Did we help them obtain the skills and values to prepare them for adulthood?
• Did we model the values & beliefs we talk about - through actions - in public and at home? 
• Did they see those same values & beliefs echoed in the activities we choose for leisure, celebration, etc.? 
• Did they see similar values & beliefs in the friends with whom we chose to spend our time?

I went through a long time of asking myself many questions. I guess the bottom line was that I felt I needed to know I was the best parent I could be. After reflection, prayer and a lot of soul-searching, I came to the conclusion that we had done our best to bring up our children to understand what & why we had chosen our beliefs & values. Bottom line, I think we did pretty well at communicating those beliefs & values.

Now, it's their turn. I would like to think that they saw what we did, saw that it was good and will choose to live with the same beliefs & values. However, God gave us free will in our choices. We have set our hope on God & His Word for guidance as we journey along life. We can only choose for ourselves. And, we did choose - although not as quickly as our parents would have hoped. 

Even if you can't make the horse drink the water... I firmly believe that you should lead them to it.

My hope is in the Lord for my today & my tomorrow... for my children's today & tomorrow.

So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. Psalm 78:7

Linking October 2013 with The Nesting Place

 for the 31-day Challenge