sunrise thoughts 29 October 2015

My life is full. My life is busy. My life is complicated. There are parts of my story that I don't feel safe sharing with everyone.

I'm a people pleaser & try to be a good friend. I'm tired of feeling used by "friends" who are my friends for a season -- when it suits their purposes -- and then become complete strangers
when I'm no longer needed.

I'm tired of sharing openly & honestly with a friend only to hear their interpretation and version of my story re-told by someone who heard it from them instead of me. Aren't we supposed to be able to tell our story to who we want!?!

Don't get me wrong... I have quite a few awesome sister-friends, I'm very fortunate to have several of these friends - not just one or two. Some of these sister-friends I've known for over 20 years. Others, just as dear, I met only a few years ago. These "sisters" listen to me; love me; encourage me; challenge me; keep me on my toes... They inspire me to be a better version of me. They pour into my life. I hope that I do the same for them.

This morning as I tromped around our property looking for sunrise shots, I spotted my NEIGHbors out enjoying sunrise & a cool start to the day (in the 30's today in the land of stuckinindiana). I thought about how later today I'll walk our country roads with my 2-legged neighbor & her Akita. We've been walking together for about 5 years now. Thinking of her, I was reminded of the conversation I'd had with my accountability partner when we first moved out here. She'd encouraged me to get to know the people who lived near us. I'd replied... 

I can't possibly add one more person in my life... My life is full. My life is busy. My life is complicated. There are parts of my story that I don't feel safe sharing with everyone. I'm a people pleaser & try to be a good friend. I'm tired of feeling used by "friends" who were my friends for a season -- when it suited their purposes. I'm tired of sharing openly & honestly with a friend only to hear their interpretation and version of my story re-told by someone who heard it from them instead of me.

I don't remember my friend's exact response that day. But, I clearly remember the intensity of emotion I felt as I fired back my response to her suggestion. And, I remember thinking to myself as those words poured out... Girl! You seriously need some professional help!

Fast forward to now... We are going into the sixth year of living out here. When we moved, we went from having 40-50 homes within walking distance of our house to 4 to 5 here. We went from being able to see into the windows of our neighbors houses to seeing a span of 2-3 miles of open farmland from the kitchen table. We went from getting the yard work done in a few hours over the weekend to being thankful when we had a few hours left over to relax on the weekends (let alone the most week days). It was quite a change for us.

One of the things I'm most thankful for is that I didn't listen to my own words back then but, to the wise words of my accountability partner / sister-friend, Chris. I got to know my neighbors.. and not just the ones with hair, feathers or fur :)

No matter what your story... no matter where you live... no matter how many or how few neighbors you have... I would strongly suggest that you make the effort to...

Make the effort to...
GET TO KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS

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stuckinindiana