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Do you ever feel STUCK? In 2000, I began looking for answers to some tough questions in my life. I'd searched high & low and finally conceded to search the promises found in the Bible. Those promises have sustained & guided me through the loss of a parent, the struggle with anxiety & depression, the loss of a valued relationship and so much more! I've found joy amid the pain. And, I want to share it with you!

24 October 2012

Crazy Bad Attitude! - 31 DAYS OF CRAZY - 24 October 2012

I have a crazy bad attitude right now! The day was fantastic up until just a few minutes ago.  And, I only have one person to blame for it! I could feel the "ugly" taking over my disposition as I heard the all too familiar CHIPPER, upbeat, excited voice on the other end of the phone closing her conversation with:
"And, what are you making your man for his dinner tonight?"  
Oh, if you could ONLY hear the excitement in that voice.  Oh, if you could only see the darkness take over my countenance.  Yep, there's only ONE person responsible for this change in disposition... and, it's ME!

I sure hope the spaghetti sauce doesn't
splash up on my Grandmother's
pearl necklace!
You see, the two of us are from different generations -- and that actually feels like different worlds to me most of the time. 

When I got married, I was working 55-60 hours per week & ended up being the bread winner for the first 6-7 years of our marriage.  When she got married, she was the stay-at-home wife & homemaker.  

I continued to work full time until our older child entered 1st grade & part-time until our younger child entered grade school.  She stayed at home full-time... picking & canning vegetables, sewing clothes for the family, painting... you know, giving her ALL to make a house a home.  

And today, I have a husband (whom I call the Love of My LIfe - LOML) coming home to me each night from work.  She, on the other hand, welcomes no one home.  She's grieved the absence of her love for too many years now.  She depends on neighbors & church members to help with the things around the house & property which my husband does for me on the weekends.  

I close my eyes at night & listen to the breathing (and, perhaps snoring) of my beloved.  She checks all the door locks once again, turns the heat down to the lowest possible setting, and quietly climbs alone into her queen sized bed.  There's no snoring beside her... but, I know she longs for the day when there was & for the person for whom she found great joy in making a special meal each night for dinner.

For a moment, I forget her loss & I forget my many blessings... and I manage to justify my bad attitude.  I bristle up & bite my tongue.  For years, I tried to convince myself that she was giving me this negative attitude.  When, in fact, it was only caused by one person... by me.

Oh Lord, help me to look beyond myself to the heart of others.  If I error on the interpretation of another's intent of their words or actions, let me error on their behalf.  Daily remind me of the grace that you have extended to me and that I should extend to others.  Life is too short to waste time on bad attitudes!  The blessings come in the moments.  And, moments should not be wasted on bad attitudes!

His Words
(got this idea from Chase Tibbs' blog; using it because i love the words of God)
  • "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24
  • "Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things... " Psalm 119:18
  • "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." Philippians 2:4-5
  • "You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate." Luke 6:36

Over 1200 topics 2012
in the 31 days {of change} with...

Linking with Ann Voskamp - A Holy Experience today...

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