HOPELESS Romantic

I am a HOPELESS romantic (emphasis on the cap's)... to the point that hearing the lyrics of a song can bring me back to the anguish I felt at the age of 13 - when my parents resigned from our little country church in NC to move to another church in Peoria, IL. The realization that the neighbor boy would never "find me" and fall in love with me as I loved him was devastating! My love for him was... pure... true... a forever love... an until-death-do-us-part love. My life had been planned out around him - raising our kids in our little church, maybe working with the youth groups as both of our parents had - the list went on. The fact that I was in the 8th grade & he was in 10th grade did not diminish the pain that consumed me that day. I climbed to the top of the backyard tree & sobbed for -- what felt like hours.

Our family moved to Illinois. And, I have to admit, it took more than just a few years to completely let go of the dream to be loved by that boy. But, time has a way of healing wounds. And, time has a way of bringing new things & new people into our lives. Life moved on. And I hate to admit it but, that experience when I was 13 was not the last time I felt like a puddle of gelatinous mud at the end of a relationship with someone whom I had "known" would be the one. Oh how trite! Why must I be so "textbook classic" for "girls", I often asked myself.

The song that reminded me of that feeling today... and other similar times in my "romantic" life... 

"Will Someone Ever Look at Me That Way? ~ from the movie, "Yentl" sung by none other than Barbra Streisand. 

And a few of the lyrics... "now I see how love completely occupies a pair of eyes..." and "will I ever live to see the day... that he will turn around and look at me that way?" Ah... young love for young girls! 

Will Someone Ever Look At Me That Way?  Buy "Will Someone Ever Look At Me That Way" on: Android Market, AmazonMP3, iTunes 

How often have I let my "feelings" be my reality? How easy is it for me to be overwhelmed with emotion & feelings and only see one reality? No matter how many times I was told as a young girl that things would work out for me, I never seemed to "feel" that way when I faced disappointments. Were my feelings my reality?

One thing about being an adult is... you have experienced a LOT of years & heartaches & disappointments. But, I've also seen those disappointments open doors for other opportunities. I've learned lessons that have helped me to avoid mistakes & poor choices in the future. I've been an example to others - albeit in the what-not-to-do category more often than not. I've seen burning ruble make way for new growth, life, and beauty!

When I was young - back in that little North Carolina country church - we sang from a hymnal. A song I remember was called "Trust & Obey". What a wonderful concept to be introduced to me at such a young age -- trusting in God for the BEST while obeying His guidelines found in the Bible. The song wasn't See, Trust & Obey! It's not always easy to trust God & obey His Word when the future seems unclear. But, it has proved true in my life and the lives of countless others who've embraced the promises found in the Bible. And, I believe that it will prove true in my life to come. 

Now that I'm not... exactly... young... 

Are my feelings my reality? They could be and can be -- but, only if I allow them to be. Not only did God write my love story in a wonderful way - better than what I could have imagined... but, I daily seek to allow Him to write my entire life story!

In the words of Christ: "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me." John 14:1