Hey, how did you break your foot?

So, really, how did you do that? 

Wow, if I had a nickel for everytime I answered that question :) One of my favorite short answers Sunday at church was, "I was running from the LOML 'cause he was chasing me." The shorter version is, "I tripped while we were on vacation." IF YOU CAN JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT, YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF FROM TAKING FIVE MINUTES TO READ THIS... 

Here's the scoop...

• I began 2-a-day work-outs this summer with a female teenager member of the family (who shall remain nameless). You know -- those are where you workout twice a day--not like 2 hours in the morning & 2 hours at night-- just twice a day. When we went to Florida for a weeks vacation, we usually walked on the beach each morning & then did an exercise tape or walked on the beach at night.
• Three nights into the vacation, we all decided to watch a movie together. When we took a break to make microwave popcorn we (the unnamed teenager & I) realized that even though we'd gotten a great walk in that morning that we'd not done our evening workout. We immediately went into an impromptu aerobic routine, me joining in reckless abandon. A very hot 39ish male (who shall remain nameless) jumped around the corner & hollered, "What's going on in here?" The unnamed female individual dashed down the hallway to the 2nd bedroom & I followed. She cleared the pile of dirty clothes that another teenager (a male who shall remain nameless) had left laying on the floor. I did not clear the pile! My right foot stuck in a pair of jeans (with no stretch or give). I went straight over rolling my right foot and making a very loud SNAP noise.
• After hearing the loud crack, I was immediately overcome with what I shall call dueling voices: "I'm going to faint." "No, I'm going to throw-up." "No, I'm going to faint." "No, I'm going to throw-up." "No, I'm going to faint." "No, I'm going to throw-up." "No, I'm going to faint." "No, I'm going to throw-up." "No, I'm going to faint." You get the idea! I was all clammy & woozie and could NOT get up for about 10 minutes. At this point it should be noted that only one compassionate individual (yes, the other female in the scenario) offered to call 911. I eventually dragged myself out to the couch, propped my foot up, took 8 Aleve, and finished the movie. 

Well, that's my story & I'm sticking to it. Ten days later, I got it x-rayed. And now I have a big, heavy, clunky, black boot for 3+ weeks -- at the minimum. I go in to get x-rays done on September 11th to see when I can lose the sweet green tape which I wear 24/7, when I can retire my beautifully BLINGED-OUT boot that I wear anytime my feet touch the ground, and when I can drive a car again. 

written on 8/24/09