Dreams of the Young & Old

A dream land of snow & sunshine  :) 

In the words of "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Miserables...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die...

Before I was in kindergarten, I dreamed a dream...


A dream awakened me from sleep and is still as clear to me as if it happened yesterday. The dream was full of color and brought mystery while filling me with unexplainable peace and comfort. In the background of my dream, the song, "Open My Eyes That I May See" - written in 1895 by Clara H. Scott - played over & over. 


Considering that I'm a preacher's kid (yep, a PK) and had probably heard that song at a recent revival or church service, it could have been for that reason alone that I heard the song. But, the images that went with that song in my dream will go with me from this earth into heaven. Those same images flooded my mind at the very moment my father sighed his last breath & entered into heaven as I sat beside him holding his hand!


From that young age until today, my very spirit is stirred when I hear that 1895 song & when I read the scripture found in Psalm 119:18,


"Open my eyes to see the wonderful truth in Your laws." 


I dreamed a dream in time gone by... that will forever remind me of the love of God & the TRUTH found in His Word.  That truth is wonderful... and freeing... and comforting. Not a truth of condemnation. But a truth of hope, a new life & a rich future in Christ. 

I want him to OPEN MY EYES daily to wonderful things God has for me :)  Lord, continue to allow me to dream dreams which bring me into your presence!


From Les Miserables... 

What's It All About?

My dad was born to a steel mill worker & a lifelong stay-at-home mom... born in a little white house perched on a small hill on a street lined with a dozen or two nearly identical homes. His dad walked to work carrying a homemade meal packed each morning by his wife... my grandma. Most weeks Grandpa worked 6 days. But, Sunday was always his day of rest... yet, up early with his wife & the 3 children for a big homemade breakfast before heading to church. 

My dad led a simple, conservative life, born & raised in that Ohio town. Most of his entertainment consisted of listening to the radio. Movies were taboo for his family. Music was how he learned of the world beyond his own. Although he remained conservative throughout his life... as a child... a student... a young man... and finally a husband, father & minister of the Gospel, he appreciated & learned from the culture around him.

I remember him referencing songs & books from his lifetime in his sermons - as I sat there in the front row with my mom & 2 sisters listening to his every word. For some reason tonight I thought about one of his sermons entitled, "What's It All About?" I wonder if it had anything to do with the song?

I'm thinking that while we are here on earth, we won't be able to answer that question about most situations we face. The words below were penned by Hal David & Burt Bacharach and give a haunting view of life & love. For me, life's answers often aren't clear... the road is frequently steep & winding... the "why's" are many. Yet, for me, my faith holds strong in the One who hung the stars in space, spoke music to life & loves each one of us like a long, long awaited child.

What's It All About... 


What's it all about, Alfie? Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Alfie?
Are we meant to take more than we give or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Alfie, then I guess it's wise to be cruel.
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie, what will you lend on an old golden rule?
As sure as I believe there's a heaven above, Alfie,
I know there's something much more, something even non-believers can believe in.
I believe in love, Alfie. Without true love we just exist, Alfie.
Until you find the love you've missed you're nothing, Alfie.
When you walk let your heart lead the way and you'll find love any day, Alfie, Alfie.

Sometimes... in the wee, small hours of the night... I weep over losses in my life. Tonight I say "Happy Birthday Dad! (12/8/27-10/20/02) Your love & your life helped me to answer the question... What's It All About?  ALWAYS, I know that our God is near.
 
"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid of them! The LORD your God will go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:6

Before I Was A Mom...

This is for all the women out there who have adopted children (legally or IN THEIR HEARTS), the women who have balanced careers and/or stepped aside from them to make a difference in the lives of children, the women who've been the mom to kids who don't have the support of their own family, etc. With truly giving ourselves to others, comes inner joy -- yet, often, confusion, turmoil & heartbreak. Regardless, I believe that God created women with a heart that yearns to GIVE. In giving of ourselves (especially to children & young people), we bring honor to our Maker.

The following e-devotional from HomeWord Center for Youth & Families was in my InBox this morning:


"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:27-28


BEFORE I WAS A MOM...
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.


Before I was a Mom...
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.


Before I was a Mom...
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Spit on.
Chewed on.
Pottied on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.


Before I was a Mom...
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.


Before I was a Mom...
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.

Before I was a Mom...
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom...
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much love or so much pain before I was a Mom.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.


— Author unknown.

MOMS (of all kinds), I count it an honor to share this calling with you. May we lift each other in prayer. May we go the extra mile to make a difference in the lives of those around us - children, fellow parents & each other. May we look for ways to encourage each other in the dark times & celebrate with each other in the times of joy. May we extend grace & mercy in the challenging times yet, not hesitate to speak truth to each other in even the toughest times. May we seek HIS will & trust in Him for our daily strength & guidance.


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to every women out there who is a mom (by childbirth or by giving your heart)!

Nature vs. Nurture

I recently concluded a phone conversation with my mom. Her final remark to me was, "Well, you have not done a very good job with your children. They don't even know how to say, thank you." My thought...WOW... it all boils down to that!?! 

My "children" are 17 and 19 as I write this post. From what I remember of them as young children, they were very thoughtful with their words.  But now, they don't say thanks enough -- for her. They don't say thanks as much as I would - that's for sure. However, their dad doesn't verbally say thanks all that much either - come to think of it :)

So, how much of what we are is nature versus nurture? And, how much of NATURE is made new when we become a new creation in Christ. And, how much of the change is a process and not instantaneous?  In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” ‭NLT‬‬

Sometimes parenting (in the way you feel you should as a Christian parent) can be a huge pain -- with no reward in sight :) You can only do SO much. You can only show your values to your children through your consistent actions for SO long. AND, you can only hope they are watching, seeing the value of & adopting some of those values. Definitely at some point, they are going to do whatever they want to do. It might be a hard job to be a good, Godly parent. But, in my opinion, it's worth the work -- if for no other reason than to know that you did your best. 

As encouragement to all those parents out there who seem to be hitting their head against the wall with their children, here's some encouragement:

"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..." Galatians 6:9-10 NLT

My comments: Be faithful & do the work. Let God be responsible for the results. Give HIM the glory for those results.

Oh and... THANK YOU for reading this - ha ha!

Opinionated Me :)

You know all those scriptures about God working through tough circumstances and bad things? Well, I have some opinions on that. I can't say it's exactly how GOD thinks about it but, it's my understanding & belief at this time. 

I look at God as a loving Father, one who cherishes His children. 

Matthew 7:11 "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" 

I look at Him as planning for the BEST for us in the future and in the long run - eternity. I take hope in those plans & trust in them. I try to so as the song says, I think I'll let God be God. 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." 

Seeing down the road of life can get "foggy."
Trust the ONE who sees beyond the fog!

I believe He allows things to happen in our lives but, no matter what happens that He will work GOOD through it -- if we will allow Him to do that. There's just something about the "little girl heart" in me that doesn't feel like God PUTS bad things in my life. 

I love the story about Joseph -- you know, the one whose own brothers beat him & sold him into slavery. When Joseph was confronted by his brothers later asking for help from the brother whom they didn't then recognize, Joseph had some choices to make. He had every right to be upset with them & "give them what they deserved". 
Instead he said in Genesis 50:20, "As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the position I have today so I could save the lives of many people." 

I believe Satan is working overtime to persecute us & cause us to stumble. I think he wants to ravage our bodies... our minds... our spirits! 
John 10:10 "The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."

Despite that, if we will allow God, He WILL turn into good what was meant for evil & we can be put in a position to save others -- sometimes by merely bringing glory to God regardless of our circumstances. Sometime it's harder to do that than other times. But, a day to day relationship with God gives strength to do what we need to do each day. A new beginning each morning in Christ allows forgiveness, healing, restoration, renewal and the ability to be used by God and for His kingdom!

(14Mar10)

A Thousand Things Are Happening in This One Thing

I have a friend whom I met through a former job, AU & North Anderson Church of God (now Madison Park). She's a wife, a mother, a friend... a singer and a song writer... a Christ follower! Her name is Christa Wells. One of her songs, that I totally LOVE, continues to speak to me as I face challenges and as others face challenges. In the past 3-4 years especially, I have cried myself to sleep on numerous occasions.  Perhaps it will speak to YOU in what you are experiencing now. The song is "A Thousand Things." You can access it through iTunes. You can also listen to it for free on her site if that doesn't work. It's also available to download through Amazon.com. There are a few lines that just knock me off my feet :) God is ALWAYS at work in EVERY situation. He can bring GOOD from any mess... and, my life has been & is currently a mess! Wrap yourself in His promises!

This was photo was taken by a dear friend, T. Getz.  His words... "I've just witnessed something for the first time in my life...a perfect rainbow, in some portions even double, completely reflected in the dark water of the river...a 360 degree rainbow! It was very difficult to shoot because it was changing constantly and my little lens couldn't capture it in one shot. This shot is stitched, albeit crudely, from about 6 separate images. That is why the rainbow is a bit pointed at the top.
The real version was much more stunning. What a covenant!" 

A THOUSAND THINGS 
You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
You’re gonna soak the pillow for many weeks
You’re gonna cry Why? Why me?
But in spite of the ache that doesn’t go away
You’ll be sharing your story one rainy day
And at the next table somebody catches your words
He hears a truth that he’s never heard
He takes it back to the marriage he’d given up on
Hands it down to his daughter who writes it into song
You didn’t know

A thousand things are happening in this one thing
Like a thousand fields nourished by a single drop of rain
So honey, wrap yourself in promise while you wait the morning light
A thousand things are happening tonight


You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
‘cause for the moment all that you can see
Is what you’ve lost, lost Why me?

But in the midst of the most exquisite pain
you’re drawn into a peace that you cannot explain
and the praises you sing of a sovereign God
reach the girl whose last hope is gone
she never thought there was purpose in anything here
now the seed has been planted and it’s taking root there
You didn’t know


A thousand things are happening in this one thing
Like a thousand fields nourished by a single drop of rain
So honey, wrap yourself in promise while you wait the morning light
A thousand things are happening tonight
A thousand things are happening tonight


You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
A thousand miracles you’ll have to wait and see

Christa has written many other great songs. She won Gospel Music Awards 2006 "Songwriter of the Year" for "Held", which was sung by Natalie Grant. Some of the lyrics: "... this is how it feels when the sacred has been torn from your life and you survive... this is what it means to be held..." 

HELD


Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling


Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair


[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held


This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

[Bridge]


If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior


[Chorus]


This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
We'd be held

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This is what it means to be held.....


I hope you enjoy these songs. They are so very reassuring of God's promises to us and His faithfulness to keep those promises!

Shared with the Ann Voskamp 1000 Gifts community on Sept 26, 2012

I Just Gotta SING!

Photo by T. Getz

A few days ago, I could NOT get this thought and this scripture out of my head. Even though my past 2 weeks have been a BIT of a pain, I could only think & feel.... 

How can I keep from SINGING Your praise God?

"You both precede and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on my head."

Psalm 139: 5

In the middle of every trial & tribulation that God's children experience, HE IS FAITHFUL. His praises should continually come out of us... in our words & deeds, in our expressions & attitudes... in our very being!

(written 27Feb2010)

Caitlyn Young vs Caitlyn Old - 4 Moving to China?

YOUNG Caitlyn
a LONG time ago :) 

In the early 90's, a few things began to really "get under my skin" about a dear, cherished, beloved relative. I pondered those things & came to the abrupt conclusion that I too could easily slip into similar and perhaps the exact (gasp) behaviors. It was at that time that I began a new file entitled, "Caitlyn Young vs Caitlyn Old". About 2-3 times each year, I send the file to a few "sister friends" in the hopes that they will NOT let me edit the entries as I get older to suit my fancy.

Moving to China?

I'm so thankful that a big part of my life has been with my favorite comedian of all time (aka my husband)! Humor always seems to take the edge off of real life, doesn't it?

A few years ago, my mom announced that she was going with a close friend on an alumni trip to China. This would be the mom who gets almost all her clothes (and OUR presents) from a local used clothing shop, who complains that she has to eat cereal for supper due to the lack of money, who wants us to cover the cost of the gas necessary to come visit her grandkids (even when she initiates the trip), and who keeps her house as cold as a coffin in the winter and, in the summer, as warm as - hmmm, you get the idea. Back to the China trip, we were told that the cost of the trip was none of our business. We were even told that there was plenty of money to cover the trip cost. None of her adult children could get a straight answer from her as to whether the trip was something she could handle financially at that time.

Shortly after the siblings & spouses had processed all of this toegether, I received the following note from a close friend:

When I was talking to your husband after the meeting yesterday I said, "I heard your mother-in-law is going to go to China." His immediate reply was, "I hope she moves there." 

My friend went on to comment: "Isn't that hilarious! He comes up with some funny stuff sometimes. And he's so serious about it all too - which is great! Hope I didn't get him in trouble right there :)"

Of course, my husband (the LOML) was kidding. My mom took the trip to China.. and, she CAME BACK! She had a wonderful time, made some great memories with friends and took some fantastic photos. She's still under the same roof; eating cereal for supper under a cozy blanket. We all survived :)

So my advise today to the me of the present and the coming years is "Always keep your humor; trust in the LORD at all times!" 

God always sees the BIG PICTURE and was "spot on" when he inspired the writing of Proverbs 3:5-7 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn your back on evil."

FORMER POSTS IN THIS "SERIES"

Caitlyn Young vs Caitlyn Old #1 - Sleep Around

Caitlyn Young vs Caitlyn Old #2 - The World Doesn't Owe Me

Caitlyn Young vs Caitlyn Old #3 - Giving With No Strings Attached

100% of the donations go straight to Haiti Relief

Especially for those in this area... this from our church's most recent newsletter:
MPC Responses to Haiti Earthquake
For nearly two decades, Madison Park Church of God (MPC) has invested in life-giving and lifechanging missions work in Haiti. One of three nations to which MPC provides focused missions resources—India and Russia, the other two— Haiti is home to 233 Church of God congregations with an estimated 32,000 members.


MPC’s focused, long-term mission strategy in Haiti involves a partnership with Church of God Ministries, our church affiliated offices and Mission Haiti, Midwest, Inc. (Mission Haiti), a free-standing, but Church of God affiliated mission agency that works closes with Church of God Ministries and the national Church of God leader in Haiti Phyllis Newby.


Mission Haiti, founded in 1998 by MPC-goer Dr. Mark Fulton and his wife, Kathy, provides health services, through work camp clinics and the operation of an outpatient clinic and hospital adjacent to an orphanage on a Church of God ministry campus at St. Ard. Miraculously, the hospital, located just 20 miles from the epicenter of the quake, escaped serious destruction.


Furthermore, a diesel powered generator, recently donated by I-Power of Anderson, Indiana, is operative and being used to pump clean well water—a scarce necessity at this critical relief phase. But in order to keep the generator operating, Mission Haiti, will need to purchase more diesel fuel, which is available on the island, but at premium price, in wake of the earthquake. Prescription medications, available only through medical professional, are also a great need.


Partner with Us – Give Now
You can help provide on-the-ground, front-line assistance by giving financially to our strategic partner, Mission Haiti. One-hundred percent of your financial gift to Mission Haiti goes towards the relief effort.


The website for Madison Park Church is http://www.madisonparkchurch.org/
The website for Mission Haiti Midwest is http://www.missionhaitimidwest.org/

Political Activist vs Politically Correct

My tendancy is to keep my FACE out of this but, below is a piece of my mind :)

I totally shy away from political conversations & situations.  Most of the time, they appear to me to be full of heated emotions, hidden agendas, bullying, bending facts to support a cause, etc.  I don't like office politics either -- especially the the types where someone who's willing to do things the bosses way all the time is rewarded regardless of their productivity or work ethic.  In addition, I'm not fond of making a huge effort to be politically correct.  I don't want to be inconsiderate, disrespectful or judgemental with those I encounter. However, I believe that I need to be honest in my communication & actions - reflecting what I believe my commitment to Christ is.  I don't want to cover my convictions just for the purposes of fitting in.  Well, I've recently been called a political activist for my active participation in our community's debate on the future of our school corporation.  I've been very active in "my little world" at letting people know how I feel about the issue.  Here's a letter I sent to our local paper's editor yesterday.  I doubt it will be printed so, I'm posting it here for the 3 people who read my blogs :)


MY LETTER TO THE EDITOR WHICH WILL PROBABLY NOT GET PRINTED :)
I've resided in Anderson for the past 20 years. Neither my husband nor I were Anderson natives. We chose to live here and educate our children through the public school system. When our oldest was able to enter public school, we made the joint decision for me to step away from a full-time professional job in order to be more involved with our children's education. Since that time in 1995, I've volunteered at all of their schools - elementary, middle & high school. We've continued to make a huge effort to attend as many events & activities as we possibly could attend for each of the children. By nature, I shy away from the "politics" of issues whenever possible. I focus my time & efforts on what I believe is most important & best for all concerned. Those choices aren't always what my friends believe is best. But, if I am convicted that something is the right choice, I work toward it!




I've attended no less than 30 ACS board meetings as an observing patron. I've spoken only a few times on issues and have been there other times in support of those who were representing what I felt was important for our community. In the recent saga of Option A versus Option B, I took time to do some research & carefully consider both formats for our community. I've come to the conclusion that, when given the choices at this time, Option B is the best for our community!


At the open meeting of the ACS Board on Dec 8th, one patron spoke & showed what seemed to me as genuine sadness that "so many in our community do not want to draw together & have a sense of unity for our community" (this is NOT a direct quote but, I believe it accurately portrays what was said). I've heard this statement too many times and always from supporters of Option A. To me, this insinuates that Option B does not reflect nor can bring about community unity. Our sense of community unity is shown by choosing what is BEST for the community - for today & for the future. When comparing the two options, I truly believe that Option B is the better of the two... and the BEST that we can do when given our current choices from the ACS School Board members. I believe that Option B is the BEST for students & families: on the south side of town, on the east side of town, on the north side of town, on the west side of town and in the MIDDLE of town! It is not just the best option for a select group of taxpayers situated in a certain area of our community. Option B affords more opportunities for our students, families & our community.


I see Option B as bringing UNITY to our COMMUNITY by doing what's best for EVERYONE concerned. I do not like the suggestion that unity comes with only one of the two options being considered! Unity in the community is very important to me. After next year I won't have any more school-aged children. However, I will NOT stop volunteering in the schools & working on my own time toward what I feel is best for this community & its people. I want the success of each child in this community. I want the success & growth of this community.


Thank you for allowing me to share my views,